But before I figured out where the noise had come from all I could think about was Neptune/Mercury and the idea that a spirit had caused the curtain to fall. Something from beyond…
But before the falling curtain woke me up, a literal falling of a literal veil, I was lucid dreaming about my daughters eyes. Each night before bed she looks into my eyes for a long time. Then she feeds a little…rolls her head back to mom…and then rolls her head back to look at me again. I see her seeing me and I see myself in her as she sees me. It is one of the most silent and holy experiences that Ive ever had. In my dream I was asking whats within or behind the veil of her eyes? What do we each see within or beyond each others eyes when we look so intently?
Then I woke and went searching for a Mercury/Neptune spirit when it was really just the same old tension rod falling off again. A simple curtain falling to the simple floor. No spirit. That rod always seems to slip when the temperature changes drastically.
When I laid back down I had a moment of clarity…as though seeing through and by means of a quiet light…there is nothing behind or within. There is no spirit or ghost in the machine. Just the spirit by means of which light wonders at lights.
Now I cant sleep…or rather Im only half awake…but I feel seen…really seen..as though by a million small lights…and I imagine that Mercury and Neptune in Pisces are also looking into each others eyes half awake and half asleep…never lacking for anything beyond or within one another.