Parenting Tips for Sagittarius Children

Hey everyone, this is Adam Elenbaas from Nightlight Astrology, and today we are going to continue our series on parenting tips for the 12 signs of the zodiac by looking at the sign of Sagittarius. My daughter, one of my daughters, is a Sagittarius sun, and she has a couple of planets in Sagittarius. It has been an adventure. So I've seen over the years working with a lot of parents with Sag kids; a couple of my really close friends have Sag kids. So I thought that this was this is going to be a fun one because it's one that I have, you know, just a little bit more familiarity with.

Anyway, we're going to be looking into that today, and this is applicable for people who either if you are a parent to kids who are Sag rising, Sag Sun, Sag moon, a stellium in Sagittarius, or you yourself have one of those placements, or several of those placements and want to consider how you were raised and what your parents may not have known. Because how many parents were paying attention to the archetypal and mythological, you know, values of their kid's Sun, Moon, and rising sign, right? I think you can get a lot of insight, even if you're an adult, through watching the series. So this is we're on Sagittarius. Now you can go back and look at all the other signs we've done up to Sagittarius, and we'll continue with the series until we finish it. But that's the agenda for today.

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Now I'm really excited to talk about five parenting tips for Sagittarius kids. Now again, this could apply to you if you have kids that are Sag Sun, Sag Moon sad, rising a stellium of planets in Sagittarius, where you yourself have any of those placements and just want to think about how you were raised and what your parents may have done, and you can go like, yeah, my parents actually did that. Or you can look and say, you know, my parents probably weren't aware that that was a part of who I am on an archetypal level. So I think this series can be helpful for the inner child in us as well as literally thinking about our own kids if you have them.

Anyway, there are five things that come to mind for Sagittarius kids when you're raising little Sag's that I think will be of benefit. I frame all of these in terms of support; what kind of support can we offer? Because most of the time, the archetypes, you know, people think about them when they come to me and speak. You know, my clients come in, they speak to me about their kids, they'll usually go, how do I get it right? Like what is the thing that you have to make sure that Sagittarius becomes? What do you have to make sure they don't become?

When we think about it like that, it can be really problematic because behind most behaviors, at least from an astrological point of view and astro-psychological point of view, all behaviors are expressions on some level personality types, and behaviors are expressing archetypal needs and archetypal desires. It's like within every sign of the zodiac; there is a mandala of images that are the ideal beautiful true images or philosophies that the sign lives by, breathes by, and finds beautiful.

So when we understand those, even when there's troubling behavior, we can understand that troubling behavior in terms of a larger mandala of patterns and traits and characteristics that are part of the archetypal drive of the sign, we can understand our kids a lot more and so the series, if nothing else, is just to help us understand the archetype so we can understand our kids better.

Anyway, so here's number one on my list for Sagittarius kids, and these are in no particular order of importance, but number one on my list is supporting wandering and exploring. Sagittarius is a double-body fire sign. A double-bodied fire sign means that it is of two natures simultaneously, and we see this in the image of the sign, which is part horse and part human, called the Centaur, and Centaurs in Greek mythology embody that duality in the way that they act and behave.

On the one hand, centaurs are these rowdy, party-crashing, rebellious, wild, unpredictable, and unruly creatures. On the other hand, they can embody the wisdom of great they can embody great wisdom sent are such as Chiron, for example, was a teacher of medicine, warfare, astrology, and herbs, and so in Sagittarius, we have, in a sense, the duality between our human rational sort of elevated qualities that make us something a little bit different, and sometimes a little bit more refined than, you know, animals and the animal instincts.

On the other hand, we are animals; we are not somehow above or, you know, beyond animals purely; we are also animals, and so we are also wild, and wild hearts, you know, in spirits can't be broken, and there was a movie called Wild hearts can't be broken. It's about a horse, I think. Sounds familiar anyway.

So the animal part of us is real and just as important in setting the sign of Sagittarius, at any rate, as the elevated rational part of ourselves, and the sign is talking about the struggle, as well as the marriage between the sort of elevated human qualities and the primal primordial, wild, natural animal qualities and either one can be problematic when they pull or try to dominate the other, and the double-bodied sign the nature of a double-bodied sign is that it participates in two things simultaneously.

Now, this is also coming from the quality of light during that season of the year. For example, during the season of Sagittarius, we're in the dark half of the year from the northern hemisphere point of view, where astrology comes from in its archetypal framework, and so in Sagittarius, the Sun is reaching the darkest of the dark. But at that exact moment, the Sun, in a sense, is like a car slowing down to turn around a corner; as it slows down to turn around the corner, the end of the sign brings with it the momentum of a turn, and the turn is back toward the light. So the sign is like moving deep into darkness with, in a final turn, a kind of cathartic redemptive turn toward the light that comes at the end.

Now, it could be cathartic or redemptive; you could frame it in either way. One is just like an energetic shift that could be healing or, you know, powerful and purgative in some way cleansing. The other one is redemptive, maybe a little bit more of almost like a religious sentiment connected to it.

But that's what's happening in Sagittarius because right as we reach the end of Sagittarius, the car has slowed down and is turning back to move up in the sky. The Sun moves up in the sky; the Sun is the car. So it's moving, turning the corner to start moving back up in the sky, which is what starts happening as soon as this winter solstice occurs at the very end of Sagittarius.

So I have to say all of that so that the next things make sense. The double-bodied quality of Sagittarius, in order for the animal and the human parts to find a synthesis, there is a tremendous amount of wandering and exploring that has to be done. And that can happen in so many different ways.

You could also call it support being adventurous, but it's wandering, exploring, and adventuring. What happens when you go explore, what happens when you wander, what happens when you adventure? You have to reconcile the wisdom and the wiser parts of your being with the wilder, untamed, and somewhat at times, ignorant parts of your being. I'm not saying animals are ignorant, but they but the animal part of ourselves can be ignorant about the unconscious can be the face of ignorance, and animal nature is close to the unconscious part of ourselves, you could say, which is beautiful and unnecessary and not better or worse than the kind of human rational part of ourselves at all.

So please don't misunderstand what I'm saying. But you can't figure out how to negotiate between the, you know, the wild, untamed part of yourself and the more refined and contained part of yourself unless you explore, unless you roam about and have adventures and encounter life fully and make mistakes and learn from them and become wise because you were unruly and things like that.

So the number one thing I can say for Sag kids is there's no way they become wise if you don't let them roam. If you don't let the horse part of them out, the rational part can't learn. So that's such a huge part of what we need to support in our Sag kids support wandering, exploring, adventuring. See that as a process that gradually leads to wisdom, like the sage, but also a wisdom that has to incorporate the natural wild elements of our animal being.

Number two support experiences of redemption. At the very end of the Sagittarius season, the Sun turns back toward the light. One of the things that Sag's often have to do is they wander, and explorers go pretty deeply into darkness. Now, darkness or Yin can mean a lot of different things. It can mean the unconscious, it can mean our animal instincts, it can mean our libido, it can mean our shadow, morally or spiritually, you know.

So it's not just one thing when we say darkness, but you have to know and trust that sometimes savages need to hit the metaphorical rock bottom of the unconscious, and there will be a turn toward light, whatever, in whatever way you want to conceptualize light. Religious experience, mystical experience, a moral compass or framework that is developed somehow out of encounters with darkness.

So when I say again, export support experiences of redemption, I don't mean that they have to go and become religious or that you should support them becoming religious. But there is the word religion. In I think it's the Latin root comes from the word religio, which means to reconnect like the ligaments that are torn or disconnected. So a religious experience means to reconnect.

Sagittarians will often go through experiences of being deeply severed or cut off from some higher sense of purpose or meaning, and it will go deeply into things like nihilism and darkness, and in a weird way, it's like they have this sad, just have this buoyancy. It's a Jupiter-ruled sign; it's a fire sign. There's this buoyancy and this lightness that will allow them to go anywhere, but then sometimes, in that kind of cocksure, lightheartedness, which is such a charming feature of Sagittarius, they will get lost, and they will go a little bit too deeply, they might drink a little too much or, you know, lose themselves a little bit in something that is unconscious, on some level, for better or worse, which does not mean bad, it just means unconscious.

Then there will be an experience of redemption or kind of coming to the light of consciousness. That duality is very, very, very important for Sagittarians. So with our kids, we want to support experiences of redemption is an archetypal experience, in this case, not just a religious one. You have to know and trust that Sagittarian kids are going to figure these things out because the desire to save them from their own mistakes will cut off their freedom, and it's the freedom that leads to the wisdom. It's so important.

Number three is support wildness. By this, I mean that there will always no matter how refined a Sagittarius becomes, how many degrees they receive, or how refined they become religiously, we always want to encourage some element of our animal instinct in nature to be present. Sometimes Sagittarians will become, you know, sagely wise professors with PhDs, or they will become religiously pious or politically, they'll become very committed to something that they believe in. We don't want Sag's in that refinement to ever lose touch with something wild because the wildness will come out in the unconscious.

You have the picture of someone whose tie is tight, and they're an attorney or a lawyer, and they're really good at what they do, and they're driven morally, and they end up drinking or having an affair because the pressure is too much because they've lost touch with the stallion with the horse with the mare that's mentioned in the early hexagrams of the I-Ching that roams and follows the directions of the wind, you know, just free-spirited. There has to be a wildness in Sagittarians.

So you never want savages to tip too far in the direction of moral or intellectual or religious or, or sort of pious purity and refinement, which is sometimes a temptation, especially when, you know, for example, how do you ask the questions? It's a very good question to ask that I've heard people ask who've been through 12 Step programs. You know, that there was a part of me that alcohol helped me access a wild part of me. I don't; I can't drink because it's not good for me. I'm in recovery. It's I'm sober. This is the voice of I've heard this voice many times. And I can relate to it myself, as someone who's gone through addiction in my own past.

How do you stay in touch with that part of you that is uninhibited, without the use of things that help you to become less inhibited, right, that are ultimately damaging for you? You don't want to become so refined that you end up repressing that part. This is a subtle little lesson. Like if you see your Sag kid struggling with their own nature, trying to be good. Do some things that are wild, sometimes unpredictable, spontaneous, and free-spirited, and make sure that stays alive and well always.

Number four is support refinement. So, on the other hand, we always want to help Sagittarians to know when the right time is for, so there's some once in a while, you hear people say that Sagittarians have foot and mouth disease. It's like sticking your foot in your mouth, saying something that It's too much at the wrong time, something like that. So Sagittarius, the wildness of Sagittarius, is something that, over the course of a lifetime, will need refinement.

So I put support wildness and support refinement next to one another because they have to happen simultaneously. How do we live a wildlife that has refinement so that we are following the Tao, so to speak, we know when it's the right time to act, to speak, to laugh, to be spontaneous, and when it might be the right time to hold back to be cautious, to be conservative or to be disciplined and study with something.

So support refinement at the same time that we support wildness; these are Sagittarian principles. And kids need both of them, not just one, which is really tricky to pull off. I think a lot of it has to do with getting a sense for timing. When does it feel like the Centaur is in an angry, destructive mode? That might be when the wildness needs refinement. When does it feel like the center is trying to break out of the pen and roam free, and the joy is what follows? We might want to support that. Do you see what I mean with wildness and refinement?

Then, lastly, support, companionship, and commitment. One of the most amazing things about Sagittarians, in my mind, is that they sometimes end up married. No, I'm kidding. No, it's not just companionship with people that Sagittarians will benefit from so greatly. It's companionship with anything. One of the things in our culture at this moment that we equate free-spiritedness with an abundance of options on the level of consumption like; that my freedom is tantamount to how many options I have at any given time for what I could buy or purchase or consume. Or, you know, what could I enjoy or indulge in?

That shifts a lot when we stop thinking about our freedom only in terms of what is for me and what can I consume or enjoy just for me. And we think instead of what can I bond with? What can I develop a relationship with, and that could be something personal or impersonal? I can develop a relationship with and share companionship with music with my guitar with astrology, but I can also do it with my wife and kids.

There's tremendous freedom in the things that we find companionship in, and we might even use the word commitment. Over time, how can I find and create freedom within boundaries in other words, I like to reframe the idea of finding freedom and boundaries to finding freedom in relationships with things that have a kind of devotional quality. So companionship, what does it look like to have things in our lives that we find and explore, we find greater freedom in, and we explore over and over again, and we find that the horizons within certain things, though they look the same, they keep opening up and becoming different.

That's something that I find, whether it's an adult or a little kid, that Sagittarians are often dealing with; that just because it looks the same doesn't mean that it will be limiting to you doesn't mean that it will limit your freedom; you're the one who defines what freedom is and what it can look like. You get to open up freedom in things that recur.

You can find freedom every day in a meditation practice or journaling; you can find freedom in, you know, a practice of athletic practice like rock climbing or horseback riding. There is nothing that I think our world could use more of than understanding that freedom and spontaneity are not only about new things, especially new things that we consume. But it's also about how we open up the same things in new ways. It, at the very least, try to open up those things in relationships right through the lens of relationship rather than through the lens of consumption.

This is something that I think we have to help Sagittarians with, not so much because of what is problematic about Sagittarius, but because of what's problematic about how the world defines freedom, spaciousness, spontaneity, agency right now; so much of it is in terms of materialism, and consumption.

Remember that Sagittarius is associated with hedonism, with a kind of reckless indulgence and too much ness of Jupiter. That's not such a problem. If we are redefining freedom in terms of the spaces, we can continue to open up opening up and exploring in the things that we return to and devotion and love. So that's something too, just a little, little tweak that we can help. We can help Sagittarians combat the messages that the world is giving us right now about what freedom means or looks like.

Those are my five tips for Sagittarians, and I'll just say this, my daughter, Sagittarius. I find myself constantly at times resisting the urge to try to control her wildness because I'm a Taurus rising, Capricorn moon, and she reminds me of if you guys have seen Frozen 2 and I've seen, let me tell you I've seen the Frozens more times than I could possibly count.

In Frozen 2, there's like a little spark of fire. It's like a little fire lizard that's like running around everywhere, and it's got like little smoke trails that fly after it. Sagittarius, to me, at least in my daughter, is like that. She's just flying around all over the place, a little trail of fire.

Yet, at the same time, the reason that I know not to control that so much is because when I do, she's just joyfully, you know, kicking and bucking around like a little stallion in the open fields of our little existence here, our little world and I try to harness that and control it that same wildness remains, but it's angry, and it's destructive, and that's what I witnessed in my daughter when I tried to control that wildness.

On the other hand, at nighttime, sometimes we'll do daddy-daughter nights and watch a movie together, and then she'll sleep in my bed with me, and my wife will sleep with my other daughter, and they'll have a date. Mommy-daughter night in another room of the house where they'll watch a movie in the other room, and then so we have like sleepovers, and we trade, and we do that. So we swap different nights and so we watched, I think we watched The Labyrinth with David Bowie, you guys know that movie.

So anyway, she went, she was like totally loving it. Anyway, before we go to bed at night. We sit there; if you guys follow me on Instagram, you may have seen this before, and I will just ask her questions about reality, God, the gods, whatever, and just record her responses. What I find completely amazing is that she is so philosophical. She is just in my mind anyway, for as kids go, and I've been around a lot of kids like she's just one of those; I just think Sagittarius kids are like this. She is just profoundly philosophical; she says things that just completely blow my mind.

The other night she was talking about wanting to know where words came from and whoever came up with the words to mean the things that they do. How did that happen? And then we were talking about whether or not that music was invented, or does it just exist? And she was saying, Well, I think it just exists because birds are just singing, and they didn't invent it. And I mean, and this is, you know, this is six, seven years old, and she was doing this five at times with some things too.

What I've noticed is that after a long day, every bedtime, she gets profoundly philosophical like that, whether it's Daddy daughter night or not, that it's at the end of the day when she has been playing freely and sort of stampeding around the universe with joy, that it's somehow translates into profound insights. It's just somehow; they bubble up out of the spring of her stallion wildness.

Whereas if we tried to control her, me or my wife, and it's been a hard day where there's an angry horse centaur person in the house, she won't talk; she doesn't talk, and she feels there's almost like a nihilistic quality like, none of this means anything, just the same anger, frustration and feeling of pent-upness clouds. The same lucidity is like cloudiness philosophically. I have noticed that in her since she was very little, and all I can say is that let the Centaurus be free and wild; as long as there's a joy that's coming with it, the wisdom will come; it just somehow comes with it. The refinement comes with it. It does it by itself. All we need to do is support, keep safe, you know, and listen and take interest when the wisdom comes. Okay, anyway, those are just my thoughts. I hope they help and we will see you again next time. Take it easy, everyone. Bye.