Parenting Tips for Virgo Children

Hey everyone, this is Adam Elenbaas from Nightlight Astrology, and today we are going to be continuing our series on parenting tips for the 12 signs of the zodiac by taking a look at five parenting tips for Virgos.

So if you have a child with a Virgo stellium, the Sun Moon, or rising in Virgo, then this video hopefully will give you a few tips on how to understand where your kids are coming from on an archetypal level. It's been really fun doing this series, and we're I guess this will take us about halfway through. If you haven't had a chance to go back and look at the other videos, we've done everything up to Virgo now; I think last week was Leo.

So today, it's going to be five parenting tips for Virgo kids. I have my oldest daughter Virginia is a Virgo rising with Jupiter in Virgo in the first house. She's about as Virgo as it gets on in a lot of ways. So I've had a lot of insight already through parenting her and what I'm learning about her as I go along.

Also, over the years giving advice to parents with Virgo kids. So yeah, this ought to be fun. Maybe you can also relate to some of these things and learn about Virgo as a sign and the archetypal qualities of Virgo because you have Virgo energy, and we all have an inner child, and we were all raised in a certain way. Sometimes it can just help to listen; I've heard a lot of people just saying that they enjoy the series because of how it's helping them reflect on their own childhood and upbringing. So that can be valuable on its own. I have a little bit of a cold this week. So we all got a cold together in my house right now. It's not a bad one, but it's going around. So I apologize in advance. I'm a little froggy today.

Anyway, before we get into it, as always, don't forget to like and subscribe and share your comments; today, especially if you have Virgo kids and have any other parenting advice we could use. If you want to find a transcript of today's talk, you can find it on the website nightlightastrology.com. We are also in enrollment mode right now for the upcoming spring program Ancient Astrology for the Modern Mystic, which is a one-year course in Hellenistic astrology designed for people who either want to develop a professional practice as an astrologer or people who just want to take their love of astrology to the next level.

If you go to the Courses tab on the website, nightlightastrology.com, click on the first-year course, and scroll down to learn about it. Starts on June 11, can hear what alumni have had to say about it. There are 30 live webinars on the year. They're all usually clocking in around two and a half to three hours each, with ample time for q&a. We have guest teachers that come in outside of those 30 classes. They're all recorded. If you can't make it live, you can go at your own pace, or you can attend the live webinars either way.

We have an interactive group forum discussion where you can ask questions, and we have staff that are there to answer your questions within 24 hours always. We have breakout study sessions in between major units of study that are additional, and that also give you time to ask questions or integrate what you're learning. There is tons of bonus material, optional reading quizzes, flashcards, and all sorts of stuff. You get lifetime access to everything in the course. So it's a great program for people who are looking to deepen their love and knowledge of astrology.

If you have any questions about it, feel free to email us at info@nightlightastrology.com. At the bottom of the page, you will see the different payment options. There's an early bird payment that saves you $500 if you pay upfront; there's a payment plan if you need it. And then the main thing I want to make sure people know is that we are asking people to apply early because we have limited spaces available for need-based tuition.

Need-based tuition is there for people who might be on a really tight or fixed budget; we get it people are coming from different, you know, different situations. We want to make sure that nobody's priced out of studying astrology. So tell us your situation; if you could really use a little bit of help, you really want to study astrology, got to work within your budget, we understand that that's what it's there for. That's why we do the Kickstarter, and the Kickstarter does well, and then we can do this, and that's part of how our business model works. So really, you know, thankful for everyone for helping with a Kickstarter because then it's really nice to be able to have a whole bunch of spots in our programs for people who otherwise couldn't afford to pay for the course. So we get to help people in that way. And yeah, so if you have again, any questions about the course, it's info@nightlightastrology.com. Alright, hope to see some of you there soon.

Let's get into five parenting tips for Virgo kids. Now again, this could be Virgo, sun, Virgo, Moon, Virgo rising a stellium, and Virgo. This could be you, maybe you're not a parent, but it could be interesting to hear about the sign of Virgo on a little deeper level. So there are five tips, and I always frame them in this series in terms of things that you can support.

Number one for Virgo's support piecing things together. You have to remember that Virgo is an earth sign. It is a feminine sign. It is coming at the very end of the light half of the year as the transition into darkness and the underworld is taking place, and it is the sign and exultation of Mercury.

When you get earthy feminine Mercury, you get a deconstructionist. You get someone who asks questions very similar to Gemini a little bit. There are some major differences too. But one of the things that Mercury is associated with are the two times of the year where we are taking major turns toward darkness or Yin within the solar year, as it's seen from the northern hemisphere, which is where horoscopic astrology came from.

So you have in Gemini, for example, the other Mercury-ruled sign, you have the light turning into darkness as we reach the summer solstice, and the light starts to come down. Gemini leads that transition, and Virgo leads the transition to the autumn equinox, where Dark takes over for the next half of the year. So in both cases, Mercury is a planet that dives us into darkness and the underworld.

Mercury was the guide of souls and the only one that could go into the underworld and come back out again because it does so regularly in the sky. That's why ancient astrologers associated this planet that we see that has so many retrogrades and disappears and vanishes and comes back out again, with the god Hermes that would go in and out of the underworld, up into the starry sky down into the underworld back and forth, back and forth.

One of the things that we associate with the dive into the underworld is death and deconstruction. Things in this world come to be, and they pass away, and so in both Mercury-ruled signs, but especially in Virgo, we have a sense of things falling apart or, piece by piece, things coming unglued. So in the sign of Virgo, one of the things that you'll notice is for Virgo children want to know how things work, how things are put together, which is also the same as wondering how things are taken apart. So it is very natural.

Sometimes people be like Virgos like organization; that's kind of a stereotype; it's not so much that Virgos like organization, well that's part of it. But it's that Virgo is associated with understanding how things are pieced together and how pieces are taken apart, and this could be psychologically; this could be physically with things in a room. This could be with the mechanics of the machine. This could be with the way that plants grow or the way that a garden grows or is tended or cared for.

Virgos will put a whole lot of attention into how things are put together and make something in the way that it is or taken apart. My daughter asks so many questions, a million questions, always with what feels to me like a little doubtful, critical deconstructive; why yeah, but why, right? Always with care and concern for how something comes to be what it is or how something could possibly be taken apart.

I want to say is that one of the things that I noticed that just crushes my daughter's spirit is if I just say something, like, just stop asking questions, you know, or, or just, you know, just take it on sort of like, just take it on faith, just, this is the way it is. And you just have to accept it that that's the way that it is. That's what I say when I'm at my frustration limit where you know, for maybe there's been, like, just overstimulation in the house or something, and my daughter's asking the 100th Question of the day, and I'll go just you just have to listen to me.

I don't know why it just is that way, you know, she gets crestfallen. So one of the things you can support in Virgos in your Virgo children is the interest in how things are put together and how things are taken apart. That could be in words and language and concepts; you will find that Virgo children are philosophers.

Remember that Hermes, people always think of Mercury as the rational mind. But Hermes was the god of astrology and a god associated with philosophy. And philosophy forms a part of every major spiritual and religious path on earth. We start with axiomatic principles, starting points, and givens, and then we build things off from them. Then, if you're examining a belief structure, and you want to know understand where it comes from, you take it apart so you can get down to the first principles.

Virgos do this a lot and very quickly, and my experience with my daughter, anyway, is that this is a part of how she examines and understands the environment and if it's safe or not, and you need to have an understanding of how it's all pieced together to know how you fit in as well. And so that kind of curious, questioning, deconstructing, putting and taking things apart, wanting to know how everything works with almost like obsessive quality at times.

That obsessive quality is you can't make it go away by telling people just listen to what I say and don't ask questions or, you know, by getting frustrated or annoyed or irritated with the like an obsessive fixation that can kind of seem to rise up around these kinds of details. The thing is, if you take time carefully with them and gently and you answer those kinds of questions in a flow, meaning you just try to take I always just try to like work with my daughter questions again, Virgo rising Jupiter in the first in Virgo, as a matter of playful, there's a playful and fluid way of helping Virgo.

Like rather than getting stuck, like a stuck fixation, How can we help them address questions the Virgo kids and feel meaning like there's a meaningful understanding of how things work without also breaking flow? Because one of the things that I've noticed that will happen sometimes for my daughter is that these kinds of questions and analysis will, at times, interrupt, almost like just be an unhealthy distraction. You can't get over that unhealthy distraction by just saying, well, just shut up and, you know, take what I'm saying on faith; you know, that's not how Mercury works.

Alright, number two, support healthy fixation. So, this is interesting because it goes right into what we were just saying about fixation. There is a way in which Virgos will get; sometimes, we will use words like obsessed or words like perfectionism, or something like that. But you don't get that; you don't make that go away. Like if there is a little bit of unhealthy fixation in a Virgo child, or there's a tendency toward being sort of perfectionistic or, you know, like a perfectionist or whatever.

You don't fix that, right? By, again, skipping over the impulse itself, it's about, as far as I can tell, with my daughter, it's about redirecting that impulse. So that fixation is. So, for example, my daughter will sometimes get really fixated on something she's drawing or painting and doing artwork with, and the detail isn't quite right, and she gets really, really upset about it and will sometimes like have to start all over.

What I found is that, again, if you help any for any sign, if you help the sign, feel validated, and you go into what the sign is, rather than try to direct it completely away from what it is because what it is, has tipped into its shadow, you're gonna get a lot farther. So something that Virgos need to do is get stuck on things. By getting stuck on things, you don't have to stay there too long, right? But getting stuck on things, there's a way that there's like a code that's being cracked, a riddle that's being solved, an understanding that's being arrived at, and we have to patiently attend to the kinds of fixations that are Virgo kids develop and help them go into it with curiosity.

But keep it fun and light rather than you're getting something right or you're getting something wrong. It's we're just trying to understand something, we're trying to, we're trying something new, or we're trying to work our way around a problem or solve a problem. But that's different than just saying, Alright, don't get stuck on that. Don't get obsessed, don't get fixated right, and then getting fixated is exactly part of the archetype. Getting fixated on why something is the way it is, how it should work, and how it can work better or more effectively.

These are things that Virgos need to develop in order to feel like we're healthy and whole. If you have Virgo energy, there needs to be a sense that you can solve problems, and that translates later in life for many Virgos into being able to feel useful and helpful for other people because you can do things that solve or fix problems. Virgo is a mender and very much a healer and a helper. Part of how Virgo helps is there's a very inventive quality to Mercury ruled signs and when something isn't working, right or isn't, isn't doing what it should or ought to or could do. There's a sense of needing to stay with it until you figure it out.

We need to be able to support that in Virgo kids and not just think, Oh god, I don't want them getting obsessed or being a perfectionist. You know, it's like, we don't want to go down that path, perhaps, but you can't just cancel out. The tendency to get fixed on something on principle, just don't get fixed on something like that's not the right advice either.

Number three is to support unconditional love. Now, part of the way that Virgo operates is going to be again with respect to understanding things, deconstructing things, taking things apart, and putting them together. Being useful, being helpful, developing skills, solving problems. Along the way, it's very easy in the same way that, for example, cancer kids can build up the feeling that I get love by being loving, right? Like if I'm, if I'm tender and sweet to other people, and then you know, maybe as an adult, I go into a caring profession, that by doing those things, that's how I get love. That can be a real problem for Cancers, for example.

For Virgos, there's a similar thing that we have to be careful of, and that is that if I'm useful, if I'm helpful, if I am of service if I'm not wasting my time if I'm solving problems, if everything if I have all my ducks in a row, then I'm worthy of love, or then I'm okay, or then I'm peaceful.

So one of the things you think of the polar opposite sign of Pisces with its relatively easier relationship with flow or fluidity; one of the things that can really help is to model for Virgo kids; great that you're doing that you are amazing, and loved and beautiful and perfect, just the way you are no matter if you solve that problem or not. But let's solve it.

You know, there's a way in which we, for Virgo kids, it's so important to make sure that we're helping them build their self-esteem, you know, in part through their talents, skills, abilities, critical thinking, ability to fix things and do things well and effectively and feel useful, and, and so forth. And, and sort of smart to have things organized and tidy. Those are all things that Virgos can build a sense of self-esteem from.

But it's very important to back that up with you are loved exactly as you are and not because of what you fix, what you do, what you understand how useful you are; all of those things are just bonuses. You just the way you are perfect, you know, like that. That's very, very important. This is just anecdotal; I don't have proof for any of this. But if I had to guess, I would say that of the signs of the zodiac, the ones that I have seen most frequently associated with eating disorders are Virgos or any kind of dietary; yeah, like eating disorders or challenges with self-esteem that can lead to, you know, obsessive patterns trying to fix or perfect the body as a matter of trying to feel loved or valid or valuable.

So, it's just so important to build up that base that you are wonderful exactly as you are, really, really strong need for the self-esteem to be high. You don't want the mind and an over like an overly busy nervous system at times that is performance-based and outcome oriented to dictate how worthy the individual is, so supporting unconditional love is really really helpful.

Number four, this is gonna sound weird, but you need to support ugly, beautiful, or pure dirty dualities. Now, this is because most of the time, with Virgos, we just think that any involvement in these kinds of dualities is problematic. In literature, sometimes you'll hear in literary archetypes, you'll sometimes hear throughout World mythology and World Literature that there is a virgin/whore dichotomy, and as a strong word, so I apologize if that's offensive to your ears. But by that, we mean that there are there will always be women like Mary Magdalene and Mother Mary presented.

One is the Virgin; one is the former prostitute. So, you have this duality between the good woman and the impure woman. Similarly, you have sinner and saint, you have pure and dirty, ugly and you know, beautiful, perfect and blemished, these kinds of things.

Virgos are going to work these dualities throughout their entire life. You cannot prevent it from happening. But what you can do is help Virgos to become aware of the fact that these dualities are eternal, archetypal, and never going to be fully resolved. The tension can only be held more or less gracefully. They can't be done away with. You can't get rid of ugly by becoming perfectly beautiful. You can't get rid of dirty by becoming totally pure. You can't get rid of, you know, sin by becoming the world's greatest saint. You can't get rid of, you know, the pure part of you by being a wild child all the time, out of rebellion; your just life includes these dualities, all of them.

Virgo is working these dualities in order to find out the most beautiful truth ever. Who you are, is beautiful and good and amazing and divine whether you're in a state of dirtiness or purity, whether you're in a temporary state of feeling beautiful or ugly, whether you're in a temporary state of feeling useful or ineffective.

These dualities are so natural to Virgo. And we have to teach our Virgo kids that these dualities are part of what they're here to work with and that who they are, again, going back to unconditional love is beautiful, no matter what season of life they're in, no matter which part of those opposites they're exploring or dealing with.

There are going to be times for Virgos where you, you are the, you know, scandalous misfit, you know, and then there's going to be a time where you are the pure one who has their ducks in a row, you know, and hasn't let anybody down and whatever.

So we need to make help kids become aware of these dualities rather than being afraid of them ourselves because they're strong and intense. Remember, Virgo, is the sign of the harvest maiden who's taking us into the underworld. This is a sign of initiation into the complexities of life from relative innocence to, you know, initiation into darkness. That's what Virgo, in many ways, is all about.

So this is a sign that, you know, we need to win your Virgo kid who has all their shit together and makes a big mistake; in some ways, you have to be more ready to be a supporting, loving parent in that moment, then, you know, in all the moments where they're getting things, right, you know, so just keep that in mind.

Number five support trust and flow. Now, I said earlier, don't just tell kids, the Virgo kids, to trust what you're saying and don't ask questions, you know. But this is the other thing is that the polar opposite of every sign usually has a little something to add. Pisces has trust, faith, and flow, as it's sort of like its gifts.

So one of the things that we do with my daughter frequently is she goes to a little kid yoga class, we teach her breathing exercises, and we teach her the value of silence. When we can tell that she's getting overwhelmed by those dualities, trying to figure them all out by a nervous system that may be getting in an unhealthy space of fixation. When her self-esteem is taking a hit because she's trying to, you know, make everything perfect, we try to support unconditional love.

You're great just the way you are; trust and flow and, see what happens, stay curious. And trust that the answers to the problems will present themselves. And even if everything isn't perfect, my daughter makes her own calendars for everything, absolutely everything. When she can't go to mark something on the calendar, she gets really stressed out, so Virgo. Occasionally the message is like, you know, sweetheart, it's going to work out, it's going to be fine, you can get back to your calendar later and mark the thing you forgot, like on the way to school, she'll remember I forgot to mark off the day on my calendar, it really upsets her.

You can do it later. Let's just stay in a flow. And we talked, we literally talked to her about staying in a flow. Your superpowers, we like to call them that you know your superpowers, your gifts of analytical thinking and organization and being so careful and meticulous. They're a double-edged sword. The other side of the sword is that when things go off a little bit, you can get really, really worried. So you have to stay in a flow, and you got to trust that things will be okay.

Even if, for a minute, you lose control of things. You can talk to kids that way. And it's amazing how smart kids are; you can literally talk to your kids about these kinds of philosophical ways of managing life and energy. It works, and you can do so without invalidating their archetypal needs and nature.

So anyway, that's what I've got today for you guys about Virgos. I hope this was useful for all of you. I'd love to hear your thoughts as parents if you guys have Virgos or if you were raised in Virgo, what worked and what didn't work. What else could we add to this conversation? Love hearing from you guys, as always, that's it for today. We'll see you for more tomorrow. Take it easy, everyone. Bye.