The Sun in Leo Opposite Saturn in Aquarius

Transcript:

Acyuta-bhava Dasa 0:01
Hey everyone, this is Acyuta-bhava from Nightlight Astrology. Happy Monday, everybody. Today we are going to talk about the Sun's opposition to Saturn, which is forming today kind of formed yesterday into today. And then later this week we're going to see the sun cross through a square with Uranus. So this is one of the biggest dynamics of the month I really focused on this dynamic in my monthly horoscopes. And so we're going to start today by talking about what it means that the sun and Leo is opposing Saturn in Aquarius, I'm going to pop this up on the real time clock and give you a look at it first, as always, and then we will dive into an exploration of this archetypal combination. So here you can see on the real time clock, the sun and Mercury who just passed through this opposition as well are both opposing Saturn. This is really I'll give you a really funny story. So as Mercury, God of communication technology, you know, pass through the opposition to Saturn yesterday, our toaster stopped working and the stove, like the gas range or whatever wasn't working. I was like what is going on, like, you know, definitely something Mercurial so I'm like, you know, fuming about it all day, like, ah I don't want to pay someone to fix it or and I'm not very handy so and you know, turned out that we have an old vacuum cleaner that tripped the fuse or whatever. So I had to go down and just flip turn the go to the fuse box and just flip it back over today. And it was just fine. So I thought that was funny as you know, Mercury opposes Saturn yesterday, there's this feeling that everything had broken down and wasn't working. And then as soon as Mercury starts separating from the sun and Saturn, voila, it was a problem easily solved. So at any rate, on that note, I will be getting into some of the stories that you guys have been sharing with hashtag grabbed I started this maybe like a couple months ago the planets called gras has grabbers. You know, they they totally sees us sometimes they grab us unconsciously. And we have lots of stories that testify to their involvement in our lives, especially when they come on and you know, we're not expecting it or we get caught up in their, their complexes. And suddenly we realise oh my gosh, that's this particular transit. So this new series I should be getting started with this week if not next, wheels are kind of slowly turning here we have an email inbox that is all set up and ready to go. I'll be explaining that this week. And occasionally I'll be doing videos now where I just totally highlight the stories that you guys have shared about different archetypal combinations of planets and we're we're archiving some really good ones so you know we've kind of been building up a database to work with before launching into it getting the email address set up and stuff like that. So anyway, you can see right now that the sun in Leo at 10 degrees is opposing Saturn in Aquarius it just passed through so yesterday into today you'll be feeling this but even tomorrow as the sun separates from Saturn you'll be feeling this as well. You know sun Saturn opposition's can be just hard. They can they can be tough for a variety of reasons. We're going to talk about that in a minute.

Acyuta-bhava Dasa 3:43
Another grabbed story for you guys. Yesterday, my daughter got grabbed by the transits by the planets. She was playing around in a chair and fell off from it and knocked her head and got a nice little goose egg and she is she's she is a Leo. So she has Saturn opposing her son right now. She's got a nice egg on her head. Anyway, so we've put some Arnica on that and you know, and she's she seems to be just fine. But sun Saturn came through yesterday today, you should be able to feel it tomorrow. And then over the next few days, what we're going to see is, here's the sun moving through a square with Uranus at 14 degrees. We're going to be talking about that later in the week. I'll just walk you through it, it comes through on Friday. So we'll be looking at that at the very end of the week. Maybe even doing a two part series on it as we prepare for it, just depending on how the rest of the week goes. So these this transit kind of concludes the long series of planets moving through Leo that made this opposition to Saturn in the square to Uranus. So the Sun opposite Saturn is a definitely a heavier train. And so we're going to talk about that today got a bunch of things to go through with you guys, I think you'll find this interesting. Let's begin by breaking down each planet individually just a little bit. Remember that the Sun is associated with the generative motion of the cosmos with we call the primary motion of the sky and sort of like platonic philosophy. And with the sense of there being an ideal, an ideal form, an ideal life an ideal day, you know, an ideal that we aim our life toward that we we have intentions, we have ambitions, and resting within them, at the centre of them is like an ideal image. And the sun was associated with the daimon, also sometimes called spirit, the idea that the diamond spirit, the sun, this generative force, this sense of desire, that stirs us stirs within us, and moves us toward different kinds of activities in life. You know, my pursuit of the art and craft of astrology, or, you know, someone who is moved to become a, let's say, an acupuncturist, or someone who feels called to become an engineer or an attorney, or something like that, whatever the case might be. There was a great book that was written about the diamond called The Soul's Code by James Hillman. And I love that book, if you ever want to read more about that, and kind of get in touch with this idea at a deeper level. But theSun is an illuminating planet. It has to do with clarity, wisdom, truth, but also the sense of there being motivating ideals that move us along in life. That's why we look at the Sun sign as your you generally get a feeling of your sense of destiny or purpose. It's funny when you were younger, whatever, and you go to a party and someone I don't know if people still say this, but people might ask you, what's your sign, or maybe that comes up when you're flirting with someone or whatever. And the funny part about this is that, you know, the sun is very rarely going to be the best way of understanding a person's character psychology. It could be but asking someone with their Sun sign is, is more like asking someone what are your ambitions, which is important for getting to know someone but, you know, in ancient astrology, the Moon, Mercury, the ascendant and the ascendant ruler, these would be probably more vital for an understanding of like, character and psychology and some kind of synastry between ourselves and other people we're considering dating or something like that. So I always find it funny that we're identified by our Sun signs, which is, in a sense, like saying, I'm identified by what I am pursuing as an ideal or ambition in life.

Acyuta-bhava Dasa 8:06
The Sun also has something to do with our, what gives us a central sense of meaning or purpose, which can contribute to a sense of ego or identity, but is not there is no planet that represents your ego or identity, the whole chart does. So. But the Sun gives us that sense of ego or identity related to a kind of heroic purpose or something that makes us stand out or set apart or unique from others based on what we're motivated by what we want what we desire. So, Sun can also be related to things like fame, authority, you know, kings or queens. authority figures, oftentimes the son is related to the Father. And also the Sun will have kind of generally a relationship with illumination as an enlightenment spirituality and if you go on a meditation retreat and you're waking up at sunrise and you're, you're sitting in prayer meditation to start your day and there's this kind of serene sense of being illuminated from within those are solar qualities as well. Any planet can participate in the illuminating process of you know, a spiritual life but the sun has that. If you ever read the Narnia Chronicles, the book that CS Lewis, embedded with Sun symbolism, mediaeval astrological Sun symbolism was The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, and the pursuit of the Dawn Treader was toward the Eastern, the eastern horizon where the sun rises, which was thought of as as Lance kingdom, and along the way they keep encountering different kind of archetypes of the the corrupt or darkened son of a pool that turns things into gold and those who are greedy and selfish, motivated by temporary worldly desires and ambitions. If they touch this water they'll turn into gold and sink. There's a dragon that comes about, a dragon that hoards gold and things like that. So the other thing that's really important to understand about the sun is, for you know mediaeval ancient alchemists and mediaeval astrologers, ancient Hellenistic astrologers.

Acyuta-bhava Dasa 10:27
The sun has to do with whether we are aiming toward the holy grail, like the it life, eternal and eternal goals and virtues, or whether we are being motivated by fool's gold, the fool's sun, the dark Sun, which usually has to do with pride, and the boasting, arrogance, and temporary hoards of worldly treasure. So all of these are Sun things. Another great son myth in you know, kind of more modern mythology is the Hobbit. So Smaug the dragon who he comes, the dragon comes because specifically because the, the dwarves are hoarding gold and the, the dwarves are getting lost in their greed. And so the dragon comes so that dragon is a sun symbol, and a symbol that has a lot to do with the shadows of the sun. And the hero of course, who has to learn the difference between you know, the, the heroes to slay the dragon; the hero is always having to slay the dragon, the dragon being kind of the image of the base desires that we mistake for eternal things. Now, in defence of dragons. There are many other myths where dragons play a vital life giving roles that are not like the dark, that sort of dark sun mythos. So just in defence of dragons, because I also love dragons and there are many other applicable dragon myths that are not just about heroes killing dragons, anyway, as an aside because I happen to like dragons.

Acyuta-bhava Dasa 12:24
Saturn, on the other hand is going to be the Lord of winter death, decay, old age, limitation, feigned appearances. Saturn can be very deceptive. Saturn is also a sign of old age, wisdom, maturity sobriety gravity gravity toss. So some sun and Saturn are natural opposites, they rule signs opposite to one another Leo and Aquarius. So this is very beautiful part of their, their their relationship when they come into an opposition in Aquarius and Leo, they are in their home signs. And so this is a kind of quintessential sun Saturn dynamic that we're going through right now. And the sun can oppose Saturn, in other words in lots of different signs, but they happen to be in their own home signs right now both the sun in Leo and Saturn in Aquarius, and one of the natural tensions between Saturn and the Sun will be you know, the exactly what I was just talking about with regard to the dark side of the Sun. For example, when Saturn rules feigned appearances, what we're essentially saying is that Saturn is a natural opposite to the Sun. So what is the shadow of the Sun? The sun is puffed up on some kind of worldly, you know, a stage of worldly ambitions that are really vain and self centred and not really taking us anywhere meaningful. If not helping to the soul to grow or evolve, then, you know, we what we come to see, at the bitter end is Saturn, we see the face of feigned appearance. Oh, that wasn't what you thought it was. You're not who you think you are. The fame or the gold that you saw is some kind of burden or even a curse. So Saturn is the natural antithesis of the sun. It's the it's the person you know, a Saturn person can feel like an Eeyore or if you guys know the Narnia books, Puddleglum - he's kind of a gloomy fellow. So, you know, Saturn comes along and says, you can be on with the Sun can cast doubt on things can make you insecure or lack confidence or feel distant from yourself or it can cast the shadow over your sunlight somehow it can be depressing, but those are all also the natural results of pursuing fool's gold. We pursue things that aren't real that aren't lasting that aren't rooted in the real alchemical goal of life. Then, eventually we come to find that they're not real, they're hollow somehow. And so Saturn is is lord of feigned appearances and hollowness and form without substance and things like that. On the other hand, when we need long, long periods of time, the contemplative the mystics, the monks, the nuns, the you know, the the herbalists, the witches in the woods, who spend long periods of time, you know, getting to know nature, getting to know a craft, a spiritual alchemy that needs to take place, in a container over a long period of time for something substantive to be made. Well, Saturn is also related to the Sun on that level, because Saturn is going to be the idea that good things take time and discipline and maturity and stick-to-itiveness. And its, you know, good things usually don't come quickly. I'm not saying always but you know, it's like you sometimes have to pay Saturn is due. And so these are all sun Saturn dynamics.

Acyuta-bhava Dasa 16:12
Alright, let's go into some of the ways that they can combine. Let's say you have an ideal for your life, something that's driving or motivating you and the Sun opposes Saturn and you realise I'm not sure I'm really motivated by that ideal any longer. It's reached its end, it's now feeling hollow, I'm not motivated by it anymore. So the end of some ambition or ideal or motivation or inspiration that can happen under a Sun Saturn dynamic. You can also as I was mentioning about feigned appearances with Sun and Saturn, you can also come to a space where you realise that something that you have been putting out there like the sun, you've been exuding something about yourself about your life has been kind of fake, or that it isn't what you think it is or you get a response from someone that makes you realise that what you're putting out there isn't what you think it is. It also has to do with sincerity. Am I being sincere? Saturn Sun will check you and say this isn't sincere you can start to feel distant from yourself and almost like a captive in your own life because it just doesn't feel like what you're living is real. These are sun Saturn dynamics. You can grapple with doubt insecurity or self worth issues when the sun opposes Saturn all the more when we're in Leo and Aquarius. A rigid sense of identity or purpose. So if your sense of identity and purpose has become too hard, too rigid, or overly controlled, sometimes you'll start to suffer from from the burden of that while the sun opposes Saturn. Anything that requires self denial discipline, or hard work can be a sun opposite Saturn dynamic. The good side of that, of course, is that some level of self denial discipline and hard work is basically a prerequisite for anything that we want to become good at, even as we'll see when the sun hits the square to Uranus, anything that we want to be free from or if we want greater freedom in life, usually a kind of irony that greater freedom is almost always coming at the cost of greater discipline, and the ability to be consistent with things in our lives. With that comes greater freedom for example. Um, you know, I go to a gym when I work out and one of the one of the things that one of the trainers there says is you know, if you want to feel great if you want to feel free, you got to put in the work. And I always, I always think I wonder what kind of Saturn she has in her chart, you know, but the that's a that's a sun Saturn dynamic. It's like or Sun Uranus, Saturn dynamic all together. If you want greater freedom in your life, greater freedom comes with a lot of work. For example, if you want to be really free to improvise on a musical instrument, most people have to put in an extraordinary amount of self denial, discipline and hard work to get to a space where they can be really free and loose with the way that they play. This is the Sun Saturn dynamic as well.

Acyuta-bhava Dasa 19:50
Now there's of course a dark side to this self denial discipline, hard work. There was a movie I watched some years ago, I went to the movie theatre with my wife and we watched it was called Whiplash. It was about the kid who was like a drummer, and he had a teacher who was kind of crazy driving him to be like the best that he could be, but you know, kind of really broke him down. And you could say was, like abusive in the process. There's always movies like this. Saturn the task master, I'm just here to make you better, you know, you know what I mean? It's like, I don't know, if I trust you. I'm just here to make you freer. You know, I'm just, I'm just like, Look, I'm just, I'm helpful. You just you can't see it right now. But I'm helpful, how many abusive people that probably use that line, you know, so there's a fine line between Saturn as the taskmaster who will try to convince you that, you know, harming yourself and, and like sort of self flagellation, you know, that these things are necessary for you to get where you want to go. And sometimes it's just not true when we have to throw off some kind of overly heavy or rigid way of being. On the other hand, it's also true that the jazz musician puts in a tonne of work to get as free as they are. So somewhere in there, we're working with Saturn and the Sun and finding the right balance.

Acyuta-bhava Dasa 21:11
Anytime that there's the crystallisation of a long creative process, you'll see the sun and Saturn, when someone has a feeling that they shine but that they're modest and sincere, and that there's something well defined about them, contained, and yet, there's still luminess that can be a sun Saturn dynamic. Anytime that you have issues with father figures, or authority figures, Sun-Saturn can come up. I want to understand something just do it. Just do what I say, you know? Or but why, but why, but why like my kids, you know, like, could you please just put down the axe, you know, but why? Because you'll cut, you know, your sister's head off, or whatever it's like, but why? I can't tell you why just do what I say to do, you know, these kinds of things. So questioning authority figures, issues with authority and authority figures, developing inner authority, rejecting unhealthy kinds of authority, all of these things can come up with the Sun, and Saturn tend to come up a little bit too with Pluto and the Sun by the way.

Acyuta-bhava Dasa 22:26
If you feel cut off or distant from yourself, if you feel like a shell of yourself, that can be a sun Saturn dynamic, it will be a little depressive. When you think about grandfathers or elders, older people with wisdom, the wisdom of previous generations, Sun-Saturn, cold, anything that's cold or rigid or authoritarian, appealing of block to light strength or vitality. These can all be Sun Saturn dynamics. So yeah, this is just you know, sort of these are sort of some of the main Sun Saturn dynamics.

Acyuta-bhava Dasa 23:07
At any rate, I want to go into one piece that I think is really important. This came up in my meditation this morning, and I decided I would focus on it at the end here today. So in my mind, one of the most meaningful parts of the sun and Saturn - I had a Sun Saturn transit a couple of years ago, so I was reflecting on what my what some of the most meaningful you know, kind of core lessons from Saturn, Saturn opposing the sun in my birth chart work. And I thought a lot about this because basically, just to give you a picture of my little picture of my chart, so I have the Sun in Cancer in the third house along with Mercury. One of the things that I studied in graduate school I did a master's degree in the Master of Fine Arts degree in creative writing. And I studied confessional memoir writing. So you know, what is confessional memoir writing? A confessional memoir is going to be when someone sort of spills the beans; it's the revealing of a story. Like for example, someone might write a confessional memoir about being a drug addict. As part of what my book was about, because I had been struggling with opiate addiction in my early 20s. It's funny to think that I was at the outset of the opiate epidemic that was kind of a part of that actually in the US. Anyway, that's an aside but that was something that I really got into for a long time was confessional style memoirs. One of my favourite ones early on when I was a kid, which my book ended up being compared to it which was such a weird turn of fate that one of the blurb writers or reviewers would compare my book to this one. But when I was a kid, it was a book called The Basketball Diaries. And it was by Jim Carroll. They made it into a movie, I actually had seen the movie before I read the book. And it was with Leonardo DiCaprio, he played this kind of angsty kid who was a good basketball player who ended up getting involved in opiate addiction, and then eventually becoming a poet. And a drug educator, he ended up living and some of his friends didn't and stuff like that. So I got into these kinds of stories, let's spill the beans, you know, write a book that really shares the nitty gritty of what you went through, and how you changed and learned and evolved and, and so forth. One of the reasons that I got interested in confessional memoir writing was that for many years, I had a very popular but anonymous, easy journal, that had a pretty big following, that I built from scratch. It was anonymous, nobody really knew who it was that was writing. So it wasn't truly confessional in the sense that people like knew who I was, but I would every day I would write about my experiences and my inner life and share it with an audience. And it was sincere, like, it was really what I was going through. But over time, one of the side effects of being in like confessional mode for a really long time in my life, like writing very publicly about my inner life for a really long time and sharing a lot about myself publicly for a really long time, was that I started longing for more privacy, and being able to keep certain elements of my inner process and inner life to myself, as you can imagine, the pendulum swings in the opposite direction, right. So one of the things that I've noticed about the internet, since you know, I got involved with the internet, you know, when AOL Instant Messenger was coming out, and there were chat rooms, and all this kind of stuff. And it was so unique to be able to share yourself and your inner life with people, random strangers, people you didn't know an audience that could be yours. And you didn't necessarily need to have a big book deal or anything, you could just share your inner life on the web and feel as though you had witnesses. And I think this was really meaningful. For a lot of people, I suspect it was other people like me found that this was like a really meaningful development in their lives. But again, over time, they've just the pendulum swung in the opposite direction, especially after I published my kind of confessional style, memoir, and journey with ayahuasca and drug addiction and my family and stuff like that, I naturally just started going in the opposite direction of feeling like I wanted to learn how to bring my personal life back into a more private sphere.

Acyuta-bhava Dasa 28:22
So one of the reasons I bring this up is that I had some of the most intense experiences of Saturn of kind of completing that process of pulling my inner life back out from the public sphere into the private sphere, when Saturn recently opposed my Sun, I won't get into the story about how that happened. But it did. And for some really good reasons. Especially I'll just say this, that one of the things that really amplified it for me was starting a YouTube channel several years ago. After I started a YouTube channel, you know, it became more and more apparent that I needed to be very careful. I still, as you guys know, I still love to share personal stories. But the level of the depth of those stories that I share, I've had to pull back significantly. And the degree to which I share my personal life, I've had to pull back significantly. There's some really good learning lessons for me around that as Saturn opposes the Sun. So I was thinking about this this morning, and I was like, that was one of the biggest lessons you know that the need to i would i phrased it like this in my notebook this morning. To suffer silently, because one of the great benefits of confessional blogs, confessional Instagram or Facebook posts, confessional tweets. Let me just tell you how I really feel right. Has that not become one of the most redundant things in the world at this point? I mean, don't get me wrong. I Really appreciate hearing how people feel. And as you know, as a Cancer Sun and Mercury I, I listen to how people feel every day in my practice. And so I'm not one of those people who is averse to sharing, I think it's healthy. But isn't it funny how we've all sort of OD'd on confessing to the world as a way of, you know, receiving validation.

Acyuta-bhava Dasa 30:25
Now, I want to talk about why it's also important as a Sun Saturn dynamic to suffer silently. The immediate pushback is going to be that, you know, people who are seriously harmed should speak up, people who keep things in should not be repressive. I agree with all those things. So there is another side to this. You know, there's always, there's, there's multiple ways of looking at the Sun and Saturn, you could equally just as equally you could say that the sun and Saturn represents the tendency to repress your inner light and not let it shine. Certainly, just as a preface, so I can go into this, knowing that I'm not going to be ambushed in the chat box or whatever. It's totally legitimate that people suffer silently when they need to speak up. It's totally legitimate that people repress things and they shouldn't, it's totally legitimate, that people need a space to share and show themselves. And I like social media and the internet - I would be such a hypocrite if I said that, though. It wasn't. It wasn't positive that people had those outlets, you know. But for me, and I think, I suspect for enough people out there that that will resonate with this, there's also a need to suffer silently. And I want to present this not as some cowboy just, you know, chew on the grit of life and just shut up or something like that, you know, but like, Why does the soul actually need to have an inner private sphere, where it suffers without confessing itself, telling how it really feels showing all of its cards, you know, constantly demonstrating its feelings, or outpourings in a confessional style through, say, social media, which I would say is one of the easiest ways that it happens nowadays. Why does the soul, you know, also need to suffer silently. So why is that a thing? There's a bunch of reasons.

Acyuta-bhava Dasa 32:24
One is that the soul needs and loves secrets. Now, that's gonna seem, you know, again, like that could seem sort of provocative. But what I mean is that, have you ever had a secret, like a joy, a real joy, and you walk around the world with it for a day before telling anyone? Isn't it amazing? What it does to what it does for the soul to walk around the world with the hidden joy, with a secret knowing with something that you have, that no one else knows or sees. And when you have that in the depths of the soul, I think of it a lot like my chart with my children now who have you know, that maybe have like a doll, or a blanket or an object, that means a lot to them. And as long as they have that object with them, there's this light that can't be taken away. And I think it's really interesting that children, obviously, it's not just a fantasy toy that kids play with when they have such such objects. It's a way of starting to interiorise. It's a way of starting to build some core sense of identity that parents, sisters, environment, nothing else can touch. These items are external manifestations of our secret places inside of ourselves. One of the easiest ways to develop secret rooms, a private space, a secret passage, an inner cave, an inner grove or clearing in the forest of the heart, is to have a secret. And our sufferings are some of our greatest secrets. It shouldn't seem like it, it should seem like I don't want to hold my suffering, it should be it should be purged, it should be cleansed. It should be I should rid myself of it. It's a demon I should exercise it. But also, a suffering is a space. Interior spaces get created through suffering. And if we're patient enough to explore them, they become part of our inner Wonderland they become really vital. And so to suffer silently doesn't mean to withstand something silently and don't complain. It also means to interiorise: To allow for suffering to create some kind of interiority. It's really important for us. So that's one reason why we sun Saturn can help us to suffer silently to quiet the constant need of the ego to be validated through its complaints or through its need to purge or, you know, exercise and confess and share and get get received some kind of feedback or pity or sympathy or even empathy. It's not that any of those things are wrong. It's an and. And it's also okay to have some of our disappointments, failures and sufferings, griefs be completely private. And the more that we allow those things to happen, the more they clear out these beautiful, soulful dimensions of our identity. They give soulfulness to our life. So the soul needs and love secrets, that can be secret joys as much as you know, secret traumas, or whatever. And there's also a time and a place to share and to need other people to help us heal. And there is a time to exercise and purge and things like that. So again, we don't have to negate one on behalf of the other.

Acyuta-bhava Dasa 36:15
The soul needs to boil its problems within a closed alambic. So one of the reasons that therapy is helpful is because it's very private. And if you have a counsellor or a therapist, you speak to probably many of you who have listened to this have spoken to a counsellor or therapist or something like that before. But to share your innermost feelings, your true thoughts, rather than using a megaphone, which again, maybe there's time or place for that, but rather than using a megaphone to say, this is how I really feel this is what I really think, to hold those feelings and those thoughts and let them cook inside for a long time and watch them change and move. This adds something to our lives, a happiness that is subtle. For example, in sacred many sacred sexual traditions, the longer that you hold your creative energy, your sexual energy, the more that you build it up, rather than releasing it all the time. The more pleasure and depth and texture your love life can have. Foreplay, for example, can extend longer, intimacy can last longer. Climax is no longer the only goal. So similarly, whether it's a joy or a pain, and we learn to hold it within. It's not that we're cutting off our light. It's that we're learning how to hold our light. That's the Sun Saturn dynamic as well. So the soul needs that place of silently holding things back and not just constantly needing to pour out to others. The soul craves the perspective of people, problems, and the world itself from the distant and private place of its own uncertainties, failures, confusions, doubts, insecurities, worries. We have to have the confidence to be able to hold them in and hold them back. And if we can do that over a long period of time, it's amazing what the world looks like. Like I was saying earlier, have you ever walked around the world, like I remember when, you know, this is kind of a sad story. But I you know, I had a dog that died, he got out and he died on the railroad tracks not far from our house. I remember the rest of that day. I hadn't told anyone, and I was just looking at the world differently. It just was just a different feeling, you know, a different, totally different quality of walking around the world. And nobody knowing what had happened with you know, in my life that day with my dog. When my grandma passed, my uncle passed back to back in one year, on the days that they passed over, and I didn't say anything right away to my wife when they passed, I waited a little bit. And I can honestly say that I saw some some beauty that I wouldn't have seen had I just immediately needed to try and process everything. We're like computer processors, you know, we're always running. We're always trying to process something so I can get to the next command. And, you know, sometimes we don't give ourselves enough space because the processing gives us a distance from the world that really helps us to treasure and find more beloved things in the world.

Acyuta-bhava Dasa 39:50
The soul is also exhausted by hero worship, let's be honest, it's fun, and it's heroic, and it's a part of it's a great archetype, you know the hero to go out and challenge ourselves and struggle and persevere and overcome. And so much of the reason that we want to share our pain or suffering or joys or triumphs with others is because we are somewhat obsessed with heroism. And we, we, the hero in us, and the need that the soul has for the hero archetype. That archetype needs validation. The hero is always cheered on by someone, the hero is, you know, often acknowledged with victory at the end, even if the hero was bloodied and bruised and battered along the way. Let's be honest, we're also exhausted by hero worship at a certain point, we need failure to calm the hero down. And to let the hero know like, you know, there's a good deal of life. It's not about missions and quests. And there's a weird way in which failure and suffering can just chill us out a little bit and help us to humble the part of ourselves that thinks that life is not complete, unless we fulfil a destiny, reach an ambition, gain some level of mastery there's always temptation in that. And so, sometimes, the Sun, Saturn can be about the exhaustion of hero worship. Remember that the soul finds joy in any experience, if the experience is made soulful. So a lot of this is not able to be done exactly in the moment of failure, disappointment, grief, loss, trauma, shock, but in the way that we process failure, the soul will find joy in that failure. And that's because the soul is amazing. So the soul has to learn how to forgive itself, or seek private forgiveness. The confessional box can't always be a social media page. The soul needs penance, it needs quiet penance for it to become truly humble, which means that there's things that we have to learn how to process and get through without telling anybody without anybody knowing. We have to learn how to be our better selves without receiving any validation Other than that, that comes from our own heart in the secret.

Acyuta-bhava Dasa 42:25
So finally, quiet suffering doesn't mean that the light doesn't come back, or that we suddenly become glum or like stoic or we don't display joy, or we never share again, or we don't engage with the other mode of confessing or we don't engage with heroism or something like that. It's kind of like you could say that the quiet suffering, if we're able to develop that, then we're, it's kind of like, letting the light penetrate into deeper and deeper waters, we love the you know, like the shimmer of the water. In the light bouncing off the the waves of the surface in the morning. This is a beautiful solar image comes to mind, like my grandfather had a pond in his backyard, and I just have a lot of memories of in the morning time, you know, my grandmother would sit out by the pond and read her Bible, I have just memories of waking up as a kid and looking at her out there and seeing the water like dancing, the light dancing off the surface of the water. There's also light that penetrates down into the deep waters and just, you know, smaller, dimmer lights that are we need to experience those as well. We the soul really needs those kinds of lights also. So Sun Saturn can be about cultivating an appreciation for that kind of depth, and letting the light come down into deeper places. You have to be quieter for that we have to use the the radiance and the sparkling, you know, it's like we can't live there all the time. And in fact, we'll lose appreciation for it. And those things will become just like the pond in The Voyage of the Dawn Treader that people trip into and seeking temporary quick satisfaction and they'll stumble into it and turn into gold and their soul becomes a weighty It's funny how light things things that look sparkling light happy free, confess he'll that these things can ironically weigh us down over time. We need this kind of deep space of quiet light for there to be a true appreciation and a true like dance with the the the images of light that you know are are dancing on the surface that are radiant and stand out in our shared or, you know just just beam out to others constantly. So I like to think that you know, these these different images of light on the surface versus the light in the deep that they need one another, you know they need one another. So, it's not really about trying to condemn any kind of behaviour as much as it is trying to compliment and, and make sure that we prenup kind of always push gently in the opposite direction. As soon as one form of a complex really starts to take hold. That's when we get grabbed. That's when we get sees this when we don't look for archetypal variation, the diversity of experience with an archetype.

Acyuta-bhava Dasa 45:43
So anyway, that's what I've got for you guys today. I hope the sun Saturn dynamic is healing for you, and that you find some kind of interior space to work through things. And of course, I also offer you the opportunity to share if you feel like sharing in the chat box below and sharing a story about how you've been working with this transit, feel free to do so. And if you have one that again, a good example that you feel like sharing. There's always a space for that too. If you put hashtag grabbed we consider them for some of our our series or the planets are called gras Hawes Caesars graspers grabbers, they tend to do that with us. So it's good to it's good to learn and reflect together as well. Maybe there'll be some that you'll hold in this time around after this transit in the stock today, too. Okay, that's what I've got for today. Hope you're having a good one. Bye.