The Wisdom of a Grand Water Trine

Hey everyone, this is Adam Elenbaas from Nightlight Astrology Happy Friday everybody. Today we are going to take a look at the healing benefits of a grand water trine which is coming through today; we have the Moon in Scorpio connecting with Venus in Cancer and both connecting with Neptune in Pisces all around the exact same time about as close as you can get to an exact grand trine between three planets. Really beautiful configuration in the element of water. So we're going to talk today about that grand trine and five benefits of the grand water trine as well as five insights, I guess you can call them; I don't know if they're lessons or insights are reflections, themes kind of all rolled into one. So anyway, that will be our work for today.

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All right, well, it's a really rare configuration. We're going to talk about five benefits of the grand water trine. These could be lessons or insights. These are the kinds of things that I have observed over time when it comes to the healing effects of some of these planetary combinations especially given the element of water. But let's take a look at it on the Real Time Clock first.

So right here, this is about 6pm Central Time Friday, June 2, that's today, and you can see that Venus is exactly configured to Neptune in a trine, and then the Moon in Scorpio is just a degree behind. So the trine, the grand trine, is not exact, exactly, perfectly exact. But if you take this forward, even just a little bit like you're going to find that by about 8pm, I mean, this is just beautiful. Here's the moon at 27 Scorpio. Here's Venus at 27 Cancer, and here's Neptune at 27 Pisces, and they are all, I mean, that is a total of, you know, like 10 minutes of a degree separating them all, so this evening, we have a grand water trine effectively, this is a grand why you don't get closer than this, and you know to me it's like if you can't call this a grand water trine then you're never going to see one you know.

So I call it a grand water trine, and I'm really looking forward to the experience of this grand water trine because I believe that water of all the elements is often associated with our bonds and our relationships. The complications, the pain, and the healing benefits and potential of a grand water trine are, therefore, really profound because trines are of the nature of Jupiter, which means supportive, beneficial, uplifting, gracious, redemptive, and then water, so healing when all of these planets are configured through trines, you get this almost just like, you know, like a beautiful waterfall that you're standing under and receiving the healing blessings and benefits of.

Now, the moon is in its fall in Scorpio, so a little bit of a heavy place for the moon, but configured to Neptune and Venus in Cancer, I just get the feeling of a very, very deep, a little bit painful, but ultimately beneficial configuration of planets that are suggesting that emotional catharsis release, surrender, soothing, nurturing, devotional qualities and almost like you get the feeling of like a cosmic salve that's in the air with this one. So I'm very optimistic about this one, and I want to tell you the five benefits of these planets getting together in water signs.

Now, I would translate this as the healing potential. So when I say healing potential, I don't mean that this will automatically happen. It requires some effort on our parts. But you know, in the same way, that a sunny day is an ideal day to go and do something in the sun; A grand water trine, you could say, is an ideal psychic weather front in which to heal, soothe and mend or relate to ourselves and other people in a way that's healing.
So let's talk about the five benefits of the grand water trine.

Number one, when Venus, Neptune, and the moon are all configured in water, the opportunity is there for us to do something really special, and I'm going to reflect about some things that are, you know, you know, somewhat personal, but I'll also reflect on what I've heard from my clients and stuff like that. My wife and I recently went and saw Seal, the musician, and it was really interesting because I'm not the world's biggest Seal fan, but I do like him, and I thought, well, he's coming to town, and he's playing in the small theater. So just to have like a really intimate experience, seeing someone like Seal to me was like appealing enough to get some tickets.

During the show, he took a moment to pause and talk about mental health. I so deeply appreciated it, and what he said was, you know, isn't it true that so so many of us are dealing with anxiety and depression, or both? And everyone in the audience was like, yes, you know, and he said, You know, one of the things that we can do is just stop blaming ourselves, or just stop blaming other people for the feelings that we have and to simply choose to move closer in love to the people and things we love. To say, Yeah, I have a lot of reason to feel hurt, I have a lot of reason to feel anxious, I have a lot of reason to feel depressed, completely valid, not an invalidating thing at all, to also take a moment to say, but I'm going to set those things down right now, and I'm going to move closer to my child, my lover, or my friend, or myself, or the things that I love, the art that I love, the practices that I love, the subjects that I love, the activities that I love,

That we can just set aside the hurt, that it's not off limits, because we're going to pick it back up soon enough, and it's not it doesn't invalidate the hurt. It doesn't invalidate that people have heard us or that people have done really crappy things to us to say, yeah, but for now, I'm going to set that aside, and I'm going to love something or someone more. I'm going to move closer to the people and things I love.

That is one of the most healing things we can do for depression and anxiety. It's not the only thing we can do. It's not the answer. It's an answer that can help. When he put it that way when he was sort of saying it this way, and he said it in his own rock star seal way, you know, but I was just so touched.

I'm reminded of something. This is I think probably lots of people have dealt with this. When kids came into the picture, there was a little part of me that felt like my wife is now more invested in, you know, the kids than then in me, there was like a little, and I've talked to a lot of my friends who are fathers, and I think it's very possible that anyone could feel this way that when kids come into the picture, you feel like your primary relationship is being threatened on some level.

I remember feeling like, you know, when I feel threatened by something when I feel like that, it's easy for me to think, well, you know, my wife should have to solve that problem and come toward me and make sure I'm okay and stuff like that. It's embarrassing to admit that, uh, you know, I can be petty. There's nothing my wife was doing that was actually, you know, damaging or neglectful or anything like that. It's just a sensitivity, you know, a worry and anxiety that comes from my own trauma, my own background, and so forth.

But I remember this moment, specifically, when I had to say to myself, it's what I'm going to do, rather than holding on to this feeling that my bond is being threatened by, you know, the children and all of their needs, is I'm going to step closer to my wife, to my kids, I'm gonna step closer to these things, we want to move closer to them, and set aside the hurt that I feel and the desire that I feel to, like, make this my wife's problem. Or, you know, distance myself with some kind of self-righteousness or whatever.

There are choices that we have to make like that in relationships. And that's, that's just one example, right? Where you can feel hurt or neglected or abandoned in some way, you know, by a friend, or by a lover, or by a parent or whatever. Don't get me wrong; there are a million cases of people being seriously mistreated, abandoned, and neglected, right? There are also times where, really, the best move is to say, rather than trying to protect myself, and sort of shift the focus on to someone else that's not doing something right, in order to make me feel better, or make me feel a certain way that I'm not feeling right now.

We just set that aside, and we say, I'm just going to step closer to that person. I'm going to say, how can I serve you? How can I love you? Because sometimes doing that is the healing that we need for our own sense of hurt that we're feeling. Like, just, I set aside my blame, and I move closer to the people and things, and subjects that I love. I say, Okay, I'm feeling hurt, I'm feeling neglected, I'm feeling like I'm missing something. But for right now, rather than making that, rather than making the source of the problem, something or someone else I'm going to, I'm just going to try this on for size.

Maybe the remedy for the hurt I'm feeling is to love someone is to love something, an act of love and act of service, an act of intimacy, an act of moving closer to someone in something that is kind of a surrender involved in that. I think it is one of the most courageous things we can do.

Don't get me wrong again; there are going to be situations in relationships where you can't; you really can't do that. Because you would be harming yourself to go closer to people who are doing nothing but hurting you, right? But you know what I'm talking about when you're in a relationship with someone who really does care about you. They're one of the best things you can do when you feel hurt or neglected or harmed in some way by that person is to love them more and just temporarily set aside your hurt or your grievances; I find what's amazing.

Again, my own relationship, and I know I wished Ashley was actually going to come on and do this one with me today. But we got crossed wires with all the kid's schedules today. So maybe we'll come on and do one similar talk at some point about was owners of a yoga studio for ten years; we worked a lot with couples and talking about, you know, how do you create a lifestyle that's conducive to cooperative spirituality as a couple? We did workshops and stuff like that. So maybe sometimes she'll come on and talk with me about this.

But you know, there's just, there's a way when, when I'm like, You know what, I have some grievances, but I'm gonna set those aside and just be like, how can I serve, you know, my wife? Or how can I? What can I do to create more intimacy right now or more closeness? And if you know, it's amazing how, when you're with someone who cares about you when you move closer to them, they immediately become more aware of and more attentive to your needs and your hurts, and it's like so regularly, we think I have to defend and protect my own self-interest. But when you're with someone who actually cares about you, and it's a semi-healthy relationship, I mean, not perfect, but like it's, you're not with someone who's harmful, you're with a good human being that has a good soul.

It's amazing how setting aside your self-interest in moving toward them will end up getting your own needs met in return so much more quickly than defending your own self-interest. Well, that is a lesson of water. That is, that is a Venus-Neptune lesson and the hurt that we feel in the tendency to want to hold on to it and protect our own self-interest and say, I'm not coming toward you. You owe me something, you know; I'm the one who's hurt here.

It'd be such a Scorpio moon position to take, but when the Scorpio moon comes in contact with Venus and Neptune. It's like there's an opportunity to release the, you know, the digging the heels in the mud, to release that position of that posture and say, I'm gonna set this aside and move toward you and in doing that, trust that my needs will be met that I will be seen and it's to me not; it's not like you do it because your ulterior motive is to get something for yourself. It's a true act of surrender and service and a sort of selflessness in love when you do that in the name of intimacy. It's amazing what can get accomplished.

So to me, that's the first thing I want, and the biggest thing I really wanted to talk about today is I see I see that as the opportunity of a grand water trine, and I think if Seal is standing on the stage being like, let me just take a moment to talk to you all about our mental health. Can we take even just a few moments to set aside the hurt, which is so real, and say, Let me love more; let me move closer to the things and people I love that will heal us? Sometimes along the way, we have to be, we have to get to a stage where we have healthy people in our lives, that that's even an option to do with, you know, that might be the first step.

Anyway, number two is I move into my fear of closeness. I've been reading a fantastic book lately. It's just I'm really enjoying it. And you know me, I like to tell you guys about the books I read. It's a fascinating book that talks a lot about what I now feel like; when I read this book, I was like this, this is something I wish I had read a while ago. It's a really nice lens through which to understand a lot of what my clients deal with in family backgrounds that are filled with trauma. This book has been very helpful in that respect.

Anyway, the book I've been reading is called Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-involved Parents. Now, I'm not here to say after suggesting that we set aside our blame and move closer to people that we love that we should try it; you know that we should sit and blame every last thing that's happened to us on our parents or our childhood. But the truth is that for a lot of us, the kind of emotional attention that we received or didn't receive, whether emotions were modeled to us as dangerous things or things to be avoided, or things that were a nuisance, or we were taught that having emotions was selfish. There are generational traumas, and water runs deep; water almost always, as an elemental family, speaks to ancestral patterns, patterns that run deep into the fabric of our social existence in families, communities, groups, races, ethnic and religious communities, water runs deep, water is collective, and water gathers and pools us together with other human beings on an on a symbolic level.

So I think it's very valuable to try to understand as I have through things like Al-Anon, which is for family members, families with alcoholism in it. Or, in this case of a book like adult children of emotionally mature parents, we can understand that so much of what we deal with is not purely resting on our own merits or our own shortcomings, but is related to gifts and curses that come down, come pouring down the line like tributaries running down to the ocean.

It's good to understand where our relationship with emotions and with the way that we bond and attach to other human beings comes from and what it's been informed by. So I've really enjoyed this book because it lays out not just one pattern or one way of thinking about issues that can come up in relationships, family relationships, relationships between parents and kids, or between spouses. It's a way really of thinking about how we relate to other people based on the kind of emotional intelligence that was taught to us or that wasn't taught to us growing up. I found in reading this that I have a lot more empathy and understanding, not blame of where I came from, where my parents came from, and so on because it's generational, right?

One of the things that can come up with a grand water trine, especially one that has the Moon in Scorpio, is that some of us are going to have the experience that emotions or emotional intimacy is scary, but this grand water trine can invite healing insofar as it says why don't you try moving into and closer to your, your own inner life, your own emotional states, like really feel what you feel and allow those emotions to exist.

Something else that Seal said when he was on stage was he said we're just beings, and I thought it was such a profound thing to hear Seal say, you know, we're just beings, and it's okay to allow ourselves to just feel whatever we're feeling anxiety, depression, whatever.

Another thing that we can do, in other words, to deal with hurt, is to just allow ourselves to feel it. So much of the time, we think, you know, hurt is bad, hurt is wrong, I have to get rid of it, I have to solve it. Sometimes, we don't have to solve it at all; we just have to be with it. And you guys know this. I'm not saying anything; probably any of you don't know; sometimes, it just helps to hear someone else say it.

So number two on my list is I move into my fear of closeness. Closeness could be with a person; it could be with your own emotions that this grand water trine offers us the feeling that actually if you move into your feelings if you move into your body, and the wisdom of your body if you allow yourself even just a little bit of the experience of what is living inside of you some of the trauma or some of the hopes and wishes.

If you move into closeness and vulnerability with other people, there's something deeply rewarding about that, that we find a kind of strength in that vulnerability and allowing ourselves to feel and allowing ourselves to be close with other people. I think that these are like the ABCs. I feel like Mr. Roger teaches this kind of stuff. I don't feel like this is profound wisdom on my part. I feel like this is like Mr. Rogers's kind of material.

A grand water trine can be a profound moment to say; I'm just going to feel what I feel. I'm going to move into and through my fear of closeness; I'm not going to just move into the next thing that needs to be done, staying busy so that I don't have to feel what I'm feeling because I love this person or this thing so much that I don't know what to do with the feelings.

Or I want to be loved so much that I don't know what to do with those feelings. The feeling of loneliness or the feeling of lack or whatever it is that we are profound, multi-dimensional beings that can observe and experience our own emotions while being identified with them at the same exact time is pretty profound. And I think we find something of great value when we allow ourselves to really feel what we're feeling and trust that something more than the feelings can be something more than good or bad.

So anyway, number three is I trust that this closeness is enough. Another thing that I thought was interesting in reading this book Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, this fascinating book, one of the things that I found really interesting about it was that also that there's sometimes people are afraid of closeness, and sometimes people, even if they have closeness in their life, it's kind of like there's a pit or a hole that just can't ever be filled.

A grand water trine can help us to feel and receive the closeness that's all around us all the time. It's like for some people; there's a child that didn't get the attachment, that didn't get the emotional attention, the validation, and so then it becomes really hard for anyone or anything to ever fill that hurt, that gap, that wound.

One of the things that's profound about a grand water trine is that we can take a moment to let this grand water trine be like drinking from a fire hydrant; you know, it's like just here is something very powerful, very affirming. Then it's like there's a parent in us that has to tell the little child you're receiving right now, and it's enough; you're okay, it is enough; you can trust that this is enough, you can receive this.

So, the other thing that I feel like I've been thinking about with This grand water trine is just that. There's a whole lot of people out there that are afraid of emotions, and then there's a whole lot of people that feel starved emotionally, and so it's like when an emotional connection comes, you're like at a buffet, I heard someone say this recently. It's like you're eating as much as you can, and you're stuffing food in your pants, being like I don't know when I'm ever going to get back here, and it might never come back. When you're receiving, and your underlying voice is like this will go away, or I can't trust this, or I may never get this again. It's like we're interfering with our ability to receive what's present.

So one of the wounds that can be healed with a grand water trine coming through is that we can receive very deeply and start to teach ourselves this is enough, and I can trust that it'll come back. I can trust that intimacy and being fed emotionally, being validated, being loved being nurtured, I can trust that it will come back and find me again. I can trust that when it does come that it's enough, I don't have to scrutinize it or doubt it or pull it or tear it apart somehow. It's okay.

I find sometimes I'll be talking to a client, and they'll say I'm dating someone, and they're showing me all the signs that they love me, but I just I feel like I don't know if it's real or not. That's what this is like. It's like, oh, we can sabotage such good things. Because we just we've been wounded, and we don't know how to trust what we're receiving, to really feel it and enjoy it because we're thinking to ourselves, this is too good to be true.

Whereas people that maybe have a healthier form of attachment model to them, let's say, growing up or something, and they receive those things. It's like, well, that's, of course, I can trust this because maybe I've had a healthy program of attachment, and emotional validation, kind of like it's installed in me, so to speak. So for some of us, that's not the case, and so we have to learn to trust when we receive that it's good enough, that it's okay, that it's trustworthy. These are watery lessons.

Number four is I trust positive attachment to be more effective than control. I see this a lot when I do like marital counseling for people with astrology, which forms a huge amount of the work that I do; so many people come in to talk about their marriage or relationships and not that I'm some kind of guru, but you know, you pick up insights and lessons along the way, and especially when I'm in one myself and learning about it as I go.

So one of the things that this has been said by many people I'm not; this is not my unique wisdom. But when you develop positive attachment, let's just call it boundedness. We live in a world that often is; if you use the word dependent, people think immediately codependent; there's a big difference between codependent and dependent. In a negative sense, codependent is like, I can't live without some kind of unhealthy neurotic attachment, you know, something like that. Positive attachment bondedness dependency is the normal way of life in a room in a cosmos that is relational, by its very nature, that we should be in and thrive because we are in meaningful relationships with other beings is just a basic fact about our existence. It's true in the animal kingdom, you know; it's true for humans.

Positive attachments, positive bondedness, and meaningful cooperative reciprocal relationships are a measure of health and happiness; really, nothing's perfect. But, you know, it's, it's hard to say otherwise. So many of the times when we don't feel like we're getting our needs met, we feel like everything we do, every behavior we choose, every choice we make, everything we say, is designed to get a result. Maybe it's to get a result through subtle manipulation of the other person; if I be who they want me to be, and I do the things that make them happy, then they're more likely to do the things that I need.

So, there's a transactional nature; I think transactional nature is it's like one part of what relationships are by their very nature; I'm not trying to say that there's no room or space for transactions; that's just part of how things go. It's like, I'll scratch your back, and you'll scratch mine, please. But when we bond really deeply with people, when we learned to have practices of closeness with friends, with colleagues and co-workers, with our lover with our children, the family members that bondedness, that closeness that care for each other will accomplish effectively accomplish practical things that we need or want will take care of needs, wants desires, hopes, wishes, and practical, concrete material weighs so much more effectively than control and by control I mean trying to control ourselves or others in the way we act or behave with each other so that we get a certain result.

The grand water trine, and water itself, as an element, says trust the bonds that you have on the level of love, on the level of things that you have heartfelt emotional connections to. For some people, that could be the Buddha, or that could be Jesus or something; I mean, things that you share deep, heartfelt connections with that gather you together with other people or the bond that you create with a friend or a lover. That's both physical and that's forged through so many memories and things that you do together.

When you form those bonds with people, when that becomes the primary, you know, the primary goal is not to get something but to share intimacy and closeness with other beings. Those beings, because they care for you, become vital instruments when you actually need to get sort of practical things done.

I couldn't believe, for example, we built all these relationships with our yoga community in the DC metro area, tons of meaningful community relationships that we built. When it came to moving our yoga studio, there was a line of people that were just ready to help, ready to contribute, that were just totally there without any effort, you know. My wife, Ashley, who has the sun and moon and Taurus in the 11th, house, groups, friends allies. I'm, you know, not as much of an 11th-house person as my wife is. And I just noticed that it was like because my wife spent so much time caring for and tending relationships, she's really, really good at that. In our community and our yoga community and I, of course, like to think that I helped and participated. But I really see her as my teacher in this respect, and it was amazing how many people were so willing and eager and quick to step in and help when things needed to get done.

They say the same thing is true in raising kids; I heard this through a podcast my wife was showing me the other day, and I don't remember who it was, but he said if you can bond with your kids and develop a positive attachment with your kids, it's much easier for them to follow the rules and respect the sort of expectations that you set forth. The curfew, or whatever it is. That's not built on discipline as much as it is built on cultivating positive attachment, that when there's positive attachment, emotional care, emotional investment, true and sincere interest in the personhood of your children.

That it's not just these are the rules and follow them, and there's, you know, like that, that that is more effective than trying to control behavior. As a parent, when I heard that, I was like, That is 150% true; as soon as I heard that, I was like, yes, and more, yes. That is exactly my experience thus far, and I'm not saying that I have. I've done that's been my experience because I've done that; naturally, that's been my experience because of what hasn't worked, you know.

Finally, five, I take joy in entering your world and showing interest in you. I've told you guys this before, but there was a study that was done that was they, I think, like Harvard or something. They brought people into a room, and they had different interviewers interview people, and some of the interviewers would talk a lot about themselves or various subjects or topics and spend less time listening to or letting the subject of the experiment talk. So it's like an interview of the person, but sometimes, the interviewer would talk more than the person they were interviewing.

When compared to the interviewer that would come in and ask so many meaningful questions and show deep and sincere interest and ask meaningful follow-up questions, and really, like dig in and get people to come out and show and share themselves at very profound levels because they just kept showing interest and curiosity and amazement and so forth. They would ask people who did you like better, and it was like unanimous. Everybody liked the interviewer, that drew them out so much and took such a profound interest in them.

There's nothing sweeter than hearing your own name. There's nothing sweeter than feeling like who you are, is celebrated and someone is taking great interest in the way you see and experience things. One of the most profound levels of healing that can happen, and again, I'm not talking about in relationships where maybe ought to leave, you know, but in relationships where you're with someone who really does care about you, you, I think we find time and time again, very much like I set my blame aside and I move closer to you. Let me take a sincere interest in the music you like and the culture you like, and what you're thinking about. And just give me a guided tour of your world. I delight in it; I want to know it; I am just completely fascinated by that.

When we do that, it is one of the quickest ways to build positive attachment, positive attachment from ourselves toward the person, child, spouse, or friend, but also from them to us, because there's nothing that bonds people more quickly to other people than feeling like someone else really loves and is interested in you, then you want to be attached to them and ideally, when you feel that way, in a healthy sense, you reciprocate, and you say, what about your world? It's so honoring, and in my experience, my best friends throughout life are always the ones where somehow, naturally, there's a great interest taken in the other.

So yeah, one of the easiest ways we can heal wounds is to not just set aside or blame and move closer to people but say, you know, my own self-interests are often pretty complicated and heavy. You know, what's easier and lighter? Let me take a trip into your world. What is it like to let's day trip in your world today? I really want to see it. What do you want to do? Where do you want to go? What is most compelling to you right now? Let's get into it. Please take me there.

I think that there's I don't think there's anything more healing. I'll give you an example. Something that for the longest time, I had a really hard time getting into the Grateful Dead. It's one of my wife's favorite bands, and it's just it was never naturally interested, and I had this realization, just like we're talking about that. It's just like; she's expressed joy and delight in this so many times, and it's not like I've been like, Oh, they're stupid. But I've never like really taken an interest. So one of the things that we did for Mother's Day was I said, I have a request; I was like, could you this evening after the kids are in bed, I'd love it if we could sit down and you could show me one of your favorite Grateful Dead albums and maybe we could like get out some of the lyrics cause she loves the lyrics.

Because I just feel like I need to, like I really want to get to know them; I want to get to know that part of you because it just occurs to me that it's something you love that I don't know very much about, and I really want to, she cried. She was so happy. I was really overwhelmed because I thought she'd be happy, but I didn't think it would be so deep. I think so many of us are waiting with some of our simple toys on our shelves that we just wish that people around us that we love would take more interest in. Why do you love that so much?

You know, the easiest way to do that, rather than just waiting and feeling bad that people aren't getting into our worlds, is to do that for other people, you know, at least that's what I'm learning through something like this, this little simple, Grateful Dead thing. I was completely blown away, and not surprisingly, within like a week, my wife was like, this makes me realize that I'd like to know more about this that you're into, you know, it's just like, that's how it works.

So, anyway, I think these are some really profound things to think about. I feel like these are the lessons of water that I've picked up along the way. I'm a Cancer, Sun in Mercury Cancer. So a lot of these are a little bit easier for me to talk about because they feel like they're close to my heart water; the element of water in my chart is pretty strong. Maybe some of you can relate and have things to add; I'd love to hear from you. Or maybe some of you are like; I don't speak the language of water. So some of this might be really difficult, you know, and these ideas and thoughts are not appropriate in every day in every situation that these are some of the ways that things could be according to the world of water.

So anyway, I hope that you find this useful and that you have a great weekend filled with watery connection, healing, and closeness. All right. That's it for now. We will see you again in let's see, I'm thinking, we'll be back on Monday, and I'm thinking ahead of what's going on next week, but I'm spacing, so we'll see you next Monday. Bye.