Counseling Skills in Astrological Practice with Alex Skye

Hey everyone, this is Adam Elenbaas from Nightlight Astrology. Today, I am very pleased to share a replay of one of our recent speaker series with you. This is a talk from Alexandra Skye, who you've gotten to know recently. She came on and did a talk on Venus and Saturn last week. She is going to you to see a talk that she did, I should say, on counseling skills in astrology.

She is a therapist and an astrologer and has a lot to say about basic counseling skills that we can utilize when sharing astrology with other people or reading people's charts. I think you guys will find this very interesting. It's also a way for me to showcase the speaker series, which we are in the midst of right now as well. I realized that there are a lot of people who may not know about it, so I thought this would be a good thing to do while I was away: a little bit of filler content while I'm gone, and I will be back tomorrow with an episode on the moon in cancer, and then on Friday, I'll be back with April's astrology, and then we're back into our normal rhythm again.

So, I appreciate you guys being open to some guests teaching and talking while I'm on a little family vacation. So, on that note, as always, before we get into it, don't forget to like and subscribe to share your comments and reflections. Transcripts of any of the daily talks are always on the website nightlightastrology.com. I want to show you where you can learn more about the speaker series by taking over the website real quick. If you go to the website, you'll see the speaker series you scrolled down this weekend under the Events tab. Jelena is the last of our spring speakers, giving a talk and a lot of fortune. And that is going to be another really fascinating talk on a topic in ancient astrology. You can see the other speakers who have already been through it.

So, every quarter, we have new speakers; you can check them out. They're free thanks to the success of the Kickstarter. We host the speaker series for free year-round, with three speakers per quarter 12 of the year. So anyway, check that out. The other thing I want to point out is that if you go to the live talks page, you'll see my monthly webinars. Uranus in love will be happening on April 18. You can register for that. If you can't attend live, we send you the recording link later. That is April 18. We're just before Jupiter and Uranus get together, we're going to be looking at the signature of Uranus and its presence in love, sex, and relationships.

The other thing I'm promoting is Ashley's herbal apprenticeship program, which you can learn more about at skyhouseherbs.com. Click under the Courses tab. The first-year course of the herbal apprenticeship starts on April 24. If you stick around at the end of today's talk afterward, you will see an interview that I did with Ashley; that program also features need-based tuition and early bird pricing. Take advantage of those things if they are useful, too. Anyway, on that note, I hope that you will really enjoy today's replay of Alexandra Skye's talk on counseling in astrology. Take it easy.

Alexandra Skye
Okay, hi, everyone. I can't see everybody. So I'm just looking at the participant's number down here, and it says that there are 77 People here right now, which is pretty cool. So, hi, I'm gonna pull up my presentation because if I start introducing myself, I'll just ramble without pulling it up.

So I am Alex. Hi, everyone, again. Lovely Sunday. I'm in Rhode Island. So I'm on the east coast. It's 1030. Here, it's super sunny out, which is great. So yeah, my talk is about counseling skills and astrological practice. I subtitle that compassion-focused strategies help astrologers hold space for the person who lives the chart. I think that I'm super excited and super passionate about this topic. I mean, I know that I am. Like Saffron had mentioned, I am a licensed mental health therapist and a practicing astrologer. The astrology thing is newer for me. I've been practicing reading charts for probably only eight months or so. But I have been studying since 2020. I first got my chart reading for 2020, and I got bit by the bug like most of us do. So I just kind of deepened my practice from there, and I am a year two nightlight student right now. I took year one last year, and I'm in the middle of year two right now. And I am just super, super grateful that Nightlight exists in general; they offer so many wonderful things. And I'm also super grateful that they had me host this Speakers Series.

So thank you to everyone at Nightlight, and thank you all for being here. Um, yeah, so I have been a therapist for about five years, I think. And my style of therapy, it actually feels super weird to not be talking to like anyone. But my style of therapy is very insight-oriented and process-oriented. And let me just grab a drink of water real quick. Um, what that means is that I am not really a solution-focused therapist. So, I'm not helping people just get over their symptoms. A lot of times, which is super helpful for a lot of people, a lot of people are like, Okay, I'm experiencing intense anxiety, or depression or whatever it might be. And I need some coping skills to be able to move through this and live my life. And that's great. And I do a lot of that, too. But I think my focus as a therapist is helping the client turn inward, helping the clients sit with what's coming up for them, and helping them really connect to their soul. I see a lot, and the philosophy that I kind of use in my therapy practice is that we have to move toward the pain. We have to move towards the struggle because I think about the pain and the struggle. Really, it does connect us to the soul. When we sit with those kinds of things, I think we can see what's just beyond the pain, which is an incredible amount of strength, resilience, and intuition. And that's just kind of my thing. I like to help people sit with hard things and access their own strength to get through what it is that they're getting through. So that's a very long-winded way of saying like, This is who I am. And this is the kind of work that I do. So, the purpose and relevance of this topic are as follows: Um, I'm gonna go through a common path that I think I definitely experienced. And I think a lot of astrologers probably experienced this, too. So, this is how it worked for me. I got a chart reading, like I said, in 2020. And I got bit by the bug. I was like, holy cow, how is this person who I, who doesn't know me at all, telling me about my life? It was not just about events in my life but more about how I experience life. So after I had that reading, I started doing actually before professional training, training, I started just kind of teaching myself a little bit about astrology, I bought all the astrology books, I tried to study astronomy, you know, I tried to learn it all. And then, I got a mentor and started professional training. Then, I enrolled in the nightlight school. And as astrologers on this path, we really start to deepen our understanding of how profound astrology is. When we work with a teacher, you know, the more and more we grasp it, the more and more it gets a little bit confusing. But now, we start to understand that, like, wow, this is an incredibly spiritually beneficial language that can help so many people. And that's just what happens: we get mesmerized by this image of the soul. We start to get really excited about what this can do for people. You guys out there are helpers and healers and empaths and intuitive people; you probably felt this, like I can't just keep this for myself; I have to share this language with other people. And so then we start going with friends, and we start doing readings for friends and family. They either think it's really cool or really not cool, but we kind of dip our little toes in. And then once we muster up the confidence, or you know, someone just kind of pushes us out there, we start to put ourselves out there and offer readings for the general public. And this is so exciting and such a cool part of an astrologer's development. But I think very, very quickly, we go from like, Okay, I'm so excited to share this knowledge to like, oh, no, I'm, I don't know if I can do this with like another person sitting in front of me. There are just so many variables at play when we are sitting face-to-face with another human being. So I think this topic is super, super helpful and very relevant for astrologers because We're not just interpreting symbols and regurgitating some sort of algebra, archetypal knowledge that we acquired from a book or from class or something like that. I think that it is very difficult, you know, to interpret the symbol and connect to certain archetypes and be able to articulate that. But then we have a person in front of us, a person who has had a whole life and who has their own personality, set of values, beliefs, and way of looking at the world, and it becomes very complex. So, again, you know, that's why I think that we are all here right now. And my hope for this talk is to let me tell you, Oh, man, is that I hope that you leave today with a solid foundation and that you feel validated, you feel confident, and humbly empowered in your role as an astrologer. Some things that I'm going to talk about today; I'm assuming that many of you guys are already doing this. So that's why I hope that you feel validated. And just be more confident that, yes, you are on the right track. No, it's not easy, but you're doing what you can to sit with the soul in front of you. And I also, obviously, hope that you guys learn something, take something away, and feel even more confident in your role as an astrologer working with clients. There's kind of a lot in this presentation. Hopefully, it's not too much. But what I'll say is that I just want you guys to take what is speaking to you, take what resonates with you, and just leave what doesn't. You're not gonna remember every single thing, and you're not supposed to, you know, you're only supposed to remember what stands out to you. Um, some of the things I talk about, like, I'm gonna give a very specific, you know, way of doing things, but that's just because I want to bring in like the counseling skills, but also just know that a lot of this can be very flexible, and I hope to kind of talk about that throughout. I was gonna say throughout the session throughout the talk. So this is why we just moved.

This is the overview of today's talk. So we're gonna walk through the flow of reading. So you know from, well, we'll get into it, but I'm going to walk you through the flow of reading from a counselor's perspective. So we're going to define what counseling skills are, and we're going to explore astrologer-client dynamics; we're going to talk about the roles and responsibilities of you, the astrologer,

Alexandra Skye
We're going to talk about the importance of knowing and being self-aware. We're also going to talk about preparing for reading, making the initial contact with a client, and skills to help navigate the reading, so basic listening and communication skills are included. We're going to talk about how to talk about hard things with clients. Lastly, we're going to go over some self-care tips and the importance of boundaries. I hope we are all feeling excited. And I just want to take a couple of minutes to kind of ground ourselves in this talk right now. So, if you don't mind, before I get started, if we can all just kind of center ourselves, get really comfortable, close your eyes if you want to just take, you know, two or three deep breaths

Alexandra Skye
Just take a moment to thank yourselves for being here and taking the time to do this for yourself and your future clients.

So, dining counseling skills. So, this is the definition that I made up. Counseling skills are basic skills that are rooted in the field of helping professionals such as therapists, spiritual advisors, coaches, etc. These skills support a professional in the art of effectively holding space and supporting someone who's seeking guidance. Counseling skills are very different. One very different, you know, but they're different than like psychotherapy skills. Psychotherapy, I would say, includes specific techniques derived from a variety of schools of thought that are used to process trauma, reduce suffering, and or address symptoms. So psychotherapy is, you know, a very specific, very, you use very specific skills, but at the bottom of psychotherapy or basic counseling skills, counseling skills are, like I said, you know, like, they just kind of help someone effectively hold space. And it's really like, you know, skills that help us convey empathy. They are listening skills, how to appropriately listen, and how to articulate and navigate things around emotions and people's inner worlds and things like that. So, oh, here we go. Good.

I love this image because I think that kind of what I was just saying is that counseling skills are the roots of psychotherapy and the roots for astrology readings, so there are a lot of overlapping principles that go into, like, between therapy and astrology, which is really cool. And as I got into astrology, I was like, Oh my gosh, like these two worlds overlap so, so much. And so in both Stradic. In both settings, we are striving to meet a person with nonjudgment, compassion, and empathy. We strive to respect someone's character, beliefs, values, experiences, and boundaries. So by that, I mean, you know, we're not, we're not here to get someone to like, change the way that they view things, or, you know, challenge beliefs or values or anything like that, we're here to honor exactly where they're at with their own beliefs and values. And have respect for where they are and who they are.

So I'll talk about this in a little bit. But it is really important to kind of take ourselves and put ourselves aside and really just meet the person who's coming in exactly where they're at. And we want to; we don't want to judge who they are or their experiences. And we always want to convey compassion and empathy, like I said before. And then lastly, in both settings, it's really important to cultivate and create a safe environment that can hold a lot of space for self-exploration and understanding. You guys probably all know that people come for astrology, readings, and therapy, you know, for so many different reasons. But I think at the end of the day, people are just trying to navigate their inner worlds; people are just trying to make sense of who they are and their place in the world, in their relationships, and how to kind of, like, bring out more self-energy. And as you guys can imagine, and some of you probably have experienced this, it's gonna be really hard to dive into a conversation around our inner world. And, you know, self-exploration and things like that if we don't feel safe. So it's super, super important to create a safe environment, which I will get into a little bit later on. There are also overlapping relationship dynamics in therapy and in astrology readings.

In both settings, someone is coming to you seeking clarity and guidance. It is typical, I would say, in astrology readings; as I said, I haven't been giving them for too long, but probably eight or nine times out of 10. There's something going on that someone is uneasy with. There's something going on in someone's world that they're like, oh, gosh, like this is really challenging. And I'm not sure how to navigate this, or I don't know how to make sense of it. I need a little bit of guidance from a third party. So that's something that they both have in common. As I mentioned before, in both settings, someone is coming in with their own established narratives, worldviews, and, honestly, their own set of traumas. And we're going to talk about trauma a little later on. There's not a terrible amount of, you know, like trauma triggers in this presentation; I tried to keep it not super, super heavy. And I just wanted to mention that here.

But the reality of life is that we all have experienced some sort of trauma. And so when we really sink down into ourselves as an astrologer, and we say, Okay, I have my own stuff, you know, and this person coming here has their own stuff, too. And I'm not going to pretend like I know what their stuff is. And I'm not going to like to pick and poke and prod; I'm just going to hold the energy that I'm aware that someone is coming in with their own stuff. And I think that that really helps create empathy and compassion. You don't have to name it explicitly; you just kind of know it and hold that energy. In both settings, there are expectations and stigmas. And by this, I mean, like, as a therapist and an astrologer, I think that some people, maybe not all, but some people are going to you to us for the answers. They're hoping they couldn't be hoping, okay, that we have the answers and that we'll know exactly what this person should do.

We will just make all their pain go away. And unfortunately, that's not the case. It's also not super effective to, like, give someone an answer because, one, we don't, we don't know them, you know, or whatever. But I also think it's way more effective to have someone come to their own conclusion. But that is a stigma, like someone's coming in, and okay, I have all of this stuff going on. I'm coming to you. Please give me an answer.

With astrologers, in particular, there's, there can be this stigma of, like, the fortune teller, which I'm sure many of you guys have experienced with possible friends or family who learned that you're into astrology; it's like, ooh, like, you know everything about me by looking at the chart. And so, I think I'm going into this a little bit later. But there are ways to kind of nip that in the bud without being like, hey, just so you know, I don't have all the answers. You know, like, we don't have to explicitly say that, but there are ways to kind of hold the energy. And, you know, what we really want to do is empower them to come up with the answers anyway.

So I think in that art, you know, kind of like reflecting back and empowering the client, we address that stigma. Also, you can explicitly mention it if you want to; there's literally no right or wrong way. If you feel that someone's like, come on, like, you have the answers, or you can predict the future, or whatever it is, you can explicitly say like you can't, in a very loving way, and there's no harm in that either. And lastly, the overlapping dynamic in both settings is power dynamics. And we really have to think about this because, like I was mentioning before, someone is coming in probably already a little like ooh, like either, you know, anxiety, provoked, I guess, or they have questions, or they're down on my luck.

Alexandra Skye
So they're coming in with that energy. But they're also coming in, and you have a chart that like explicitly tells you, the astrologer, about this other person that can feel very, like, okay, like, this person knows me in a way, but I have no idea who they are. And that's another thing that, like, as astrologers, we're not talking about ourselves; you might share, like, oh, in my experience with this transit, blah, blah, blah, but you're not talking about yourself, and the other person is spending the time telling you about their inner world and their experiences, that feels very vulnerable. And that triggers a power dynamic.

You know, there's nothing wrong with it, but we have to keep in mind that this is the reality of the situation. Another part of the power dynamic is that, like, we have astrology knowledge, and they might not, especially if they've never had a reading or something like that before. Excuse me, was one person having the knowledge and the skills and the other person, perhaps not having the knowledge and the skills around a specific topic that also creates a power dynamic? And lastly, there's an exchange of money. And I feel like any time there's money involved, there is, you know, kind of like, an underlying power thing involved. So, how do we work with this? I kind of already mentioned this, just just now that we can't necessarily do anything about it. I think that if we spend time being like, right, how do I make sure there's no power dynamic?

And how do I make sure like we are on an even playing field, and I don't intimidate this person and whatever, it's just gonna come off, it's just gonna come off weird. And I think that we can just acknowledge and hold the awareness and sensitivity around the idea that it exists, and it's okay. Also, we are responsible for creating a safe environment by having the power quote and unquote. And when we create a safe environment, through, you know, our tone, our energy, and the words that we use, That power dynamic is hardly, honestly hardly noticeable. And when we cultivate and foster a feeling of empowerment on the client, His behalf throughout the whole reading, that helps in a way. And also, I'm sure you guys have experienced this before, whether within yourself or witnessing someone else. But we can hold a position of power, and why am I doing this? I want to hold the position of power. And that's very different than asserting dominance, you know, is saying that, like, I am the All-Knowing, and I know you better than you, and I'm not that you guys would ever say that.

But, sometimes, we can get carried away, and we can have that energy or egos kind of come in and take. Excuse the dogs barking, but I'm sure we've all seen. I mean, you guys have probably seen in movies that someone in a position of power can just very peacefully hold that power. And if you can hold the power and have confidence in your reading, that comes off to the other person. And that creates a felt sense of safety, like, oh, this person knows what they're doing. And this person, like, respects me. I think that you guys know what I'm talking about there. So. So there's a little bit of a difference there.

Okay, this is Spider-Man. Because with great power comes great responsibilities, which I love. And so, what are your responsibilities as an astrologer? So, are you responsible for acknowledging your limitations and defining your wheelhouse? What types of readings are you comfortable offering right now? Is it only birth charts? Are you comfortable working with transits? Are you comfortable doing solar return readings? You just have to know this kind of thing within yourself. Also, what topics are you more comfortable talking about? And what topics are you not? But your responsibility is to, like, acknowledge, maybe what you know, acknowledge what you don't know, and mean what you do know.

It's also another one of your responsibilities is to just simply interpret the symbols to the best of your knowledge and your ability; you are the astrologer, you are looking at the birth chart, you're interpreting symbols you're giving, you're speaking the language, you're really translating a language that's difficult for some people to understand. You're also there to address what the person is coming to you for and provide some clarity and direction around that. I definitely would encourage all of you, and I know that Adam does the same thing. But I encourage you to ask the client why they're there. And hear them, listen to them, and see what topics they're interested in because it can be easy.

Well, it's actually kind of difficult sometimes. But it can be easy to be like, Oh, I see this, like let's go here because I'm familiar with this. But it's our responsibility to address what the person is coming in for. It's also our responsibility to be compassionate, respectful, and non-judgmental. Now, our responsibilities are not as astrologers; they are not to heal someone. They are not to take away someone's pain; we are not responsible for that. We're not responsible; we don't have to make sure somebody leaves feeling positive and happy. Like, we don't want them to leave. Confused or like feeling God awful.

But I think if we are driven by, like, I really want this person to leave happy, and I want to fix things like that. I get that impulse 100%. But I think we lose a lot of the soul and a lot of the realness if we're going into it thinking that that's our responsibility. And also, that's a lot for you to hold if that were the case. It's also not our responsibility to give advice. You know, we can point to certain things; we can give archetypal explanations of things. But it's not our job to give someone advice on what to do.

Again, they're coming in with a whole life that they've lived, and we're only sitting with them for X amount of time. So we really shouldn't really be giving explicit advice. With that being said, if you are some sort of other healer, like, say, your herbalist or a therapist, and you make that known or whatever it is, you can ask if they want a small piece of advice or something like that, and then go from there, but I stray away from giving some advice. And then lastly, our response.

Our responsibility is not to change the way someone makes meaning out of their experience or views their world. We don't have to say things like well, if you look at it this way. If we really have to work with how they view the world, we have to meet them with their app. Okay. So the next part of this is that it's really important to know yourself; I love the Know thyself quote. I think that it is an incredible honor to be a human on this earth, to be conscious, and to have the ability to reflect and know ourselves.

This is actually such an important part of astrology reading; it doesn't even it doesn't happen, like in front of the client or whatever it is, but it happens behind the scenes. And I think that it is very important to know yourself as a human being and an astrologer. When I was in grad school for therapy, well, to become a therapist, I guess they stressed this like no other, you know, self-care and knowing yourself. I think that we can navigate the variables that are part of the human experience so much better when we have an anchor of ourselves to come back to. So, how do we know ourselves as a human being? This looks like having a, well, it could look like, you know, I'm not gonna say this is this is the way to do it. But it could look like having a reflective practice. This is meditation; this is journaling.

This is going to therapy yourself, or you know, some sort of counseling or something like that. But just having a reflective practice, and really knowing in getting to know your inner world getting to know your soul through, you know, wow, I had this difficult time with this today, I wonder what was present here, let me get in tune with my emotions, let me get in tune with my psyche.

Alexandra Skye
Another thing that's super important, as an astrologer and as a human being, is to acknowledge your biases. And this is, you know, your biases. Astrologically, it looks like Ashley; this is super important. So I don't want to just trail off; I want to stress it. But I would really sit with myself and say, Okay, are there certain planets that I don't particularly like to have the best relationship with or in my chart? They show up in a kind of, you know, detrimental way. So I have like a little bit of a, like a fear response or an aversion to a certain planet, you're gonna want to make a note of that. Because if we don't make a note of that, and if we don't just acknowledge it on a general level and work with it, that fear and how you feel about a certain planet, or a certain house, or something, or certain transit, that's going to come across in our reading. So, we really want to be just intentional about naming our biases.

Also, let's be honest, we all have certain, you know, biases, just out in the world and towards other humans; I'm trying to think of the word it's gone. I can't think of the word that I'm thinking of, but you know, if you had a certain experience, you know, like, with, let's say, like, a different gender, you know, or something like that, then you might, that might, again, come off in your reading. So just check yourself. We all have biases; we're all human beings, and it's important to acknowledge them because when we do acknowledge them, we can really start implementing the change and start, you know, grounding ourselves into a more compassionate world. That makes sense. Also on, like, kind of the same wavelength, knowing your triggers, knowing your triggers about certain topics, you know, like, if there is a person sitting in front of you, and they are talking about their issues with their mother or their issues with their boss or in a certain type of relationship, maybe a codependent relationship or something like that.

And that triggers something in you because you had a similar experience. Again, we have to be aware that that's going to happen; you know, we are going to get triggered. I don't love using that word because I feel like it's used so much, but we are gonna get triggered. So it's important to just know what yours are and be able to kind of, like, do the workaround? How do I sit with this? And how do I kind of regulate my nervous system when something comes up? Lastly, you need to know how you process information and what your communication style is. This will help you prepare for readings, and it will just ground you down into your style as a therapist.

Alexandra Skye
Now, knowing yourself as an astrologer, um, we talked about the bias thing, but also, like, you want to ask yourself some questions. Want to ask yourself? What is your orientation, your style? What are your beliefs? And what is your philosophy? Kind of around astrology? You know, like, am I a Hellenistic astrologer? Am I a modern astrologer? Am I a little bit of both? Am I more psychologically oriented? Or is it spiritually? Or do I specifically want to help people with just their relationships?

All of these things can help. You can help create that anchor for you. This is the kind of astrologer that I am. And we can always kind of come back to that. And that creates such a grounding energy. It also helps the client, you know, it also helps the client be like, I know exactly what I'm getting into with this astrologer because they told me what their style is. You also want to ask yourself how you see your role as an astrologer. Are you there just to interpret and reflect back? Or are you more of a consultation counselor or astrologer? Do you see yourself in the spiritual guide? Those kinds of things? And then, what do you think is valuable about astrology? You know, why do you love astrology so much? Why do you think that people should know astrology? Or what do you think Astrology can do for people?

Again, if you journal about that, if you really reflect on that, you are going to, you know, I had a supervisor once told me, like in therapy, she told me, you know, I feel like you're trying to come up with like a formula. If she said something like, If a client had shown up with this, then I can use this formula. And if a client shows up with this, then I can use this formula. She's like, what I really think you should do is have a worldview that you can use to just direct any conversation no matter what the person is coming up in with. And I think you knowing how you feel about astrology is that worldview.

Alexandra Skye
Okay, so now that you know yourself, we want to just talk about how to prepare for a reading. And I think a lot of you guys probably have your little rituals and things that you do. So this looks different for everyone. I just put down a few basic things. So, we want to be able to create a container. A lot of us do this work virtually. But we can still create a container. Right now, you guys are locked and loaded on the screen. I'm here; I can't see you guys. But there is this energetic container with us right now. So in order to do that, you kind of want to just like, well, this is me, you're gonna want to like cleanse your space, you know, sage, Palo Santo, whenever you use, make sure it doesn't look cluttered. I think that that's just kind of a little counseling thing that, if it's really noisy in the background, can cause a lot of distractions for people. So just make sure it looks kind of neutral. And then we really want to access self-energy.

So, what self-energy means is that I don't know if you guys are familiar with internal family systems, but it's a type of therapy. It basically just focuses on the multiplicity of ourselves in the fact that we all have different parts of ourselves. And within that scope of therapy, there is a concept, I guess, of the capital S self-energy. And this means just pure. This is how I interpret it; it is just like pure Self-energy, like the part of me that wants to make sure I get the reading right, the part of me that wants to help someone, and the part of me that's worried or nervous. All of those parts are outside of me, and I am just coming into my heart center. I took a deep breath, ground myself, and just came up as a human being. It's really important to kind of just center our energy before we meet someone else's energy. There's something else I wanted to say about that, but I forget what it is. But I think you guys also remind yourself again that your roles and responsibilities are not here to heal, not here to give advice, not here to make sure everyone leaves happy.

And I think it's really important to see yourself as a conduit. This is true for both therapy and astrology, and I was actually really surprised by how many of my colleagues talk about being a conduit in therapy. But it's definitely applicable for astrology too, is that we, once we start the reading like we are, I don't know how woo-woo people are, you know, but we are like channels, you know, we are trying to conduit we're trying to conduct I guess, messages in energy from something bigger than ourselves through using the birth chart and talking to someone else. Dimitra George and one of her books talk about having little representations of this to remind you that you're a conduit throughout the process. And I think the one that sticks out to me is letting a candle, you know, having that candle represent conduit notice that you are and then lastly, something else. It's just like that's just a practical tip: just have nearby resources and little notes and maybe a little mantra or something like that, which can help. Ground you down throughout the reading. Check on my time here. Okay.

Alexandra Skye
Okay, now, here we are, we're greeting the client. This stage is actually more impactful than we might think. This is the stage where we set the tone, we model a safe environment, and we define our roles. We're demonstrating respect and sensitivity right off the bat. We are also encouraging collaboration in this process.

My style of astrology is not just simply talking at someone; this also feels very weird to me. But it's not talking at someone; it's working with someone and asking questions and asking them what they think. And I think that that's probably best practice because it creates a feeling of empowerment, and the reading is about them. If we can get them included, I think that would be very good. So here, again, we're creating connection and a safe environment; we're coming in with that grounded energy we're using like a soft tone; you might be trying to talk more intentionally. We're being mindful of the relationship dynamics that we discussed before those power dynamics, reminding ourselves that this person is a human, and they're coming in with their own stuff. And we are opening up the conversation and asking about astrological experience. I do this in therapy, too.

When someone first comes to me, I ask them if they've ever had therapy and what that was like for them. This just helps it kind of like creep that container a little bit, kind of like brings it in a little bit because it's like, Okay, Hi, we're here, we're doing the like, oh, what's the weather where you live, and then we're doing the Okay, we're here for astrology. And we put it back on them and ask them what their experience is. That gets them to use their voice a little bit, gets them to open up that throat chakra, and feels kind of a little bit more comfortable.

This is a good segue because it helps you inform how your reading looks, like how much jargon you use, or if you just give them basic Sun Moon rising because that would begin, so then we wanted to find our roles and cover our expectations of the reading. So, you just kind of talked briefly about your approach and your style. I think that it can feel really nerve-wracking to meet an astrologer because it's like, okay, again, like I don't know you, so when an astrologer starts talking about themselves in the sense of, like, this is my style. This, like, brings everything down again. And it creates the expectation of, like, okay, this is what I'm in for. This is astrology, which is the astrologer's perspective, and this is what I can expect. Kind of helps build a sense of trust with like a little bit of transparency there. You talk about how you view your role.

This will indirectly address those stigmas of, like, I'm going to tell you your future; that's probably not how you view your role. And then maybe just a little bit about what a session looks like, you know, going through, I'm going to ask you about yourself, I'm going to take you through a basic Sun Moon rising thing, and then we will get into some of your questions, we have X amount of time, that, again, helps create that container, and might address any anxieties about the unknown. Because, again, you're in a very vulnerable spot.

So if we can make more factors known, I think that that helps a lot of people. Alright, so we're still greeting the client here. And I'm here in this phase; we're demonstrating respect, sensitivity, and empowerment again. I love this little photo because it just screams empowerment to me. You always, always want to get someone's permission if you're recording something, especially if you're going to, like, use it again, which you probably shouldn't. But just let someone know that you're going to record it and that you won't use it again anywhere else.

Here, we can kind of say like, Hey, there's an invitation for collaboration; this chart reading is about you. And I want you to get out of it. You know, basically what you came in here for. So I'm gonna invite you to interrupt me, you know if something doesn't sit right with you, or if there's something that you want to add in, please, please, please ask me questions. And I say something like you can never offend me. You know, like, if you say, No, that's not it, you're not offending me at all, you're actually helping me a little bit more. And really stress that, like, yes, while I am the expert of astrology, you are the expert of your life.

That, to me, is a very, very important part of this. It's also a very important part of therapy. You know, yeah, I might have the skills or techniques to help you out. But you are the expert of your life. They call that a humanistic approach. And then, you know, I tell everyone, this is what I say to everyone. I tell everyone that there could be some sensitive topics that come up. I frame it that way, in the way of, like, I tell everyone, because if you just say it, if you're like, so there's gonna there could be some sensitive topics that come up. And they might think, oh, God, like, what are they seeing right off the bat? So when you say I tell everyone on this, there could be some sensitive topics that kind of, like, alleviate that anxiety. And then I let people know that they always have permission to, like, Nope, I don't want to go there. They have permission to decline something. And I let them know that I'm going to make it hopefully not feel weird. And that I'm going to honor it and respect that. Yeah. Lastly, I think when you're greeting the client, just be mindful and use inclusive language.

Never assume someone's gender or, you know, obviously, sexual orientation. And while you're doing the reading, you know, never assume someone has a basic idea of what they call that. What's it like to have a nuclear family? You know, I use words like mother figure, father figure, parental figure, or something like that instead of mom and dad. So those are the those are the big ones. I'm sure there's more, too, but those are the big ones. Okay. And then, lastly, here in the state of greeting the client, we want to ask them to share a little bit about themselves in the sense of what they are like coming here and what themes they are hoping to get addressed. Yeah, we just kind of hand it over to them and hear their intention. This brings us to our listening skills. So, I don't think some of these are very basic; most of them are very basic. So I don't mean to, like, I hope I don't sound condescending in any of this. But even if you're already doing this, and you know this, I think it's like a helpful refresher.

Also, listening comprehension skills obviously go throughout the entire session, not just in the phase where the client is telling us about themselves. So there's something called active listening, and this is literally just basic listening skills. Also, I love this dog. He's so cute. So basic listening skills are We just want to have appropriate body language; we want to demonstrate to people that we are listening, you know, we might kind of like lean in a little bit more at times, we might match their body language at times, you guys probably do this intuitively, we obviously want to make sure we're making eye contact with someone. We also want to make sure that we're not interpreting something and planning on what we're going to say while someone is talking.

This happens naturally. If someone says something and has something to say about that, I would just check yourself there. And just like, remember that, okay, like, I hear that, I'm gonna put that aside, and I'm just gonna continue to engage here. Sometimes, when we jump to, like, oh, I want to say something that I say interpreting, I'm interrupting. So sometimes when we jump in, we want to interrupt, or we're like planning on what we're going to say, we've missed the mark a little bit. So, just kind of take a step back. And sometimes what I do in therapy, just to, like, symbolize that I do a lot of like telehealth is that I'll just kind of like open my hands, not on the screen because that's weird. But I'll hold my hands down by my side and just open my hands, and that, to me, symbolizes that I'm just holding space for what's coming up. Also, obviously, don't impose your opinions on someone; they're not really coming here for your personal opinion. And then ask a follow-up question. That is very demonstrative of active listening. So then there's something called empathic listening, which is a little bit different. Um, so this is that listening to someone through the lens of putting yourself in their shoes really has that mindset. I know it can be so hard, but when we're doing readings, we're listening to them, looking at the chart, and trying to figure out where they go.

Alexandra Skye
But in the sense of making someone feel seen and heard, we really want to try to put ourselves in their shoes and open up our hearts a little bit. We want to respond in a way that shows someone that maybe we've been there and that we understand; this can look like just nodding the skin, like putting your hand on your heart, and this can look kind of like matching their facial expressions. You know, try to theirs. I wouldn't like to hide your facial expressions and just be like a stone face all the time, obviously. But if someone is saying something that is pretty, like dramatic or drastic, maybe try to refrain from, like, the shock and the horror on your face, just kind of like come down to a neutral tone, they're gonna listen with an open mind, and allow the person to have their experience and not try to give solutions. We all know what it feels like when we are going to someone, and we're like, man, like dealing with this hard thing. And someone's like, Well, have you tried this? Like, you just like does, it misses the mark. So we want to just allow someone to have that experience.

Alexandra Skye
I think that this is gonna be a video, like a quick video. But also, they might not load

Alexandra Skye
we're gonna skip the video. It basically just reiterated what I said. However, Brene Brown has a really good video on YouTube about the difference between sympathy and empathy. And basically, she says sympathy is being like, oh, man, I feel so bad for you. And empathy is like, I hear you. And like, I'm here with you. So if you want to check it out, Brene Brown, sympathy and empathy. Okay, so back to our listening comprehension skills. Um, we want to ask what's called clarifying questions. These are questions that you ask because you don't really understand something or you want more information about it. This also demonstrates that, like, you're curious, and you're there, and you're trying to fully understand what someone is trying to say.

This looks like I heard you say, blank. Can you tell me a little bit more about what you need? It can also look like, well, what does that look like for you? Because you might hear someone say something and in your head that triggers like, oh, yeah, like I've been through that. But we don't know exactly what it looks like for them unless they're telling us. So I think that those two sentences are very helpful. Also, don't be afraid to be like, Oh, I'm sorry. Like, I'm just not following you right now. Can you? Can you maybe explain that again? Perhaps there's nothing wrong with saying, like, I missed it. Or I'm not getting it. I don't think that that's gonna leave someone feeling invalidated. Then, there are reflective listening skills. Um reflective listening is listening for what is beneath the surface and reflecting the tone or emotions that you're picking up on back on the blind. This is super important because it helps with the connection between you guys. And it also helps with your astrological interpretation.

So this looks like what I'm hearing is that even though it was extremely painful at the time, it shaped your life in this way. They probably didn't say it exactly like that. But when someone is telling you something, and you hear that, articulating that back in that way really helps someone feel heard and seen. It also kind of clarifies the archetype that we're working on. I'm saying things like, so I'm also hearing that there's a sense of relief here. Or it sounds like you're wondering what the next step is; I know that this sounds very like textbook A, but I think I wanted to share these sentences with you, not because you should use the exact sentences. But so you get a feel for what the difference is between me, I'm just listening and reflecting back to you word for word, and then I'm able to reflect back to you the emotion that I'm hearing you say.

Alexandra Skye
There's also this is an art, you know, to be able to listen to what the client is not saying, you know, it's like the client saying something, but you're hearing it on a deeper level. So you're listening for the emotions, you're listening for the narratives, and you're listening for the themes. Usually, if you're an astrologer, you're probably very in tune with archetypes. That's what you're listening for. If someone's talking about, like, an aggressive situation, or whatever, you're hearing Mars, you know, like, you're, you're hearing Mars everywhere, it may be you're looking at the chart to kind of like, look into it a little bit. But what we really want to do is like, if someone recalls a certain situation, say at work or something like that, we really want to listen to like, oh, this person was feeling powerless, or oh, this person was feeling taken advantage of. And we want to note that in our minds, you can also reflect it if you want.

Also, just a tip: Don't take what someone is saying at face value by this. I mean, if someone says something like, I'm just always doomed in relationships and never work. Don't just take that as like, yep, this person is doomed and relationships. I would look at that as you can ask the question, you know what, why is it that you feel that you're doomed in relationships? Because once we connect to that feeling, I think that the astrological interpretation is gonna get a lot easier. We might not see, Oh, doomed in relationships, I guess we could, you know, but I think that it's more effective to be like, Well, why is this person's soul? Why is this person's karma? Why is this person experiencing the feeling of feeling? Do you guys know what I mean? We also want to listen for parts; I use the word parts, but I also listen for planets and things like that.

Alexandra Skye
Okay, so interpreting symbols and relaying information. So this is more like communication skills. Now. First, of course, we want to meet a client where they're at; if they are a beginner, we don't want to use super jargon language that feels really weird, and the client will just end up feeling lost. And that power dynamic increases a little bit when we do that. We want to be attuned to the person's conscious awareness.

What I mean by that is that some people, when they're talking, you gotta get a sense of, like, their beliefs, you know, are they more spiritual? Are they talking about things in a karmic way? Are they talking about things from an ego perspective? From a relational perspective, things like that are from an inner world, the outer world. You just want to gauge what that person's like. Again, conscious awareness is something you want to match because if they're not getting into spirituality, karma, and things like that, of course, you can touch on it. But if they just want to know about relationships, and we're talking about, like, I don't know, going down some sort of spiritual path or, you know, some enlightenment stuff or whatever, we might miss the mark.

Also, on a practical level, we want to match their pace, tone, and energy to a certain extent. You know, if they are, if we can tell that they're taking some time to process the information. We are talking a little slower and asking follow-up questions; we want to slow down a little bit. If they're kind of like, right with us, okay, you can match that. And obviously, like I said before, we want to address their questions, but they're coming in. But I love this photo so much. I don't know how I found it. It's great, I love it.

So, as an astrologer and a therapist, we are trying to create an embodied experience. So just like we're listening for the experience of a person beneath the surface, what we were talking about before with the, well, it feels like I had something taken away from me or something like that. We're also trying to call forth a felt sense of truth; we want this person to connect to their chart on an emotional level if we can point out something in their chart, like an archetype that triggers like, Oh, yes. Like this archetype is alive in this way in my life, boom, they're connected, they have buy-in, and first of all, she's great.

But they're connected, and they're feeling seen, and they're feeling heard; I'm gonna keep saying seen and heard over and over again because I think that that's very important. And we do this in two ways. One is through presenting multiple possibilities to the client, and two is, we're using archetypal images and stories; I'm going to break those two things down. And so when we use possibilities over definitive statements, we, well, that's the title.

So when we do this, basically, what that looks like is like, I'm gonna give the, you know, this placement at its worse, this placement at its best, this is something kind of in the middle, when we give like possibilities, instead of well, this is what this placement means. It allows the person, again, to make that emotional connection. So if we're trying to get it right or hit the nail on the head with an interpretation, it's most likely more about you at that point; you just want to get it right rather than the client. And again, this can trigger that power dynamic. However, if we leave room for the exploration and interpretation of both the client and the astrologer, the client will now be connecting to the Oracle on their own. Does that make sense? They're making those connections. These are just a few examples.

Instead of saying, when I see x, this typically means X, try saying this planetary combination could present itself in a few different ways, then you give a few ways. Or instead of saying I see that you have a difficult relationship with your siblings, say, one way this can manifest is through the experience of tension or dynamic energy brought by those, let's say, forces through sibling relationships. It could also indicate that a sibling of yours has undergone some challenges on their own that feel very different from you have a challenging relationship with your siblings. And also, ask questions; you're not the fortune teller; you're not supposed to know it all. Again, they are the expert of their life.

So ask those questions. What is coming up for you when I say this? Does that trigger anything? It could not, don't take offense to it, you know, what's, what's another way that that placement can manifest and present that. Um, I don't know if you guys are gonna get the slides. But these are just a couple of different word choices that I think are helpful, too, for us to use to, like, make suggestions and things. So words like perhaps have the potential to sometimes but not always. Possibility you guys get it? This is just yet another example.

And so, if we have someone with a Sun conjunct Saturn, we can say it in three different ways. You can say this can feel like your self-expression is being limited by forces either within yourself or perhaps people in your environment. In that statement alone, there's a lot of room for wiggle room. Saturn Sun can also show up as being met with roadblocks or checkpoints along your path forward. Again, this is very broad; keep it broad. You know this is archetypal and broad. This will help them come to a conclusion on their own. We can also say that Saturn is conjunct, so I'm going to represent the tendencies or up personality of a father-like and or authority figure.

Okay, I love these next couple of slides. In my practice as a therapist, I use imagery, active imagination, and archetypes a lot. So this is fun for me. Um, so we're talking about how to elicit an emotional connection from someone, and one is presenting that wide range of possibilities, which is just kind of like throwing out archetypal images. So this little archetypal image of this superhero girl over here, like that, to me, says like, yeah, like, even though I'm small, I can do it. Or even though you know people don't think I can, I might be something different to you; when you see this picture, you might think of something completely different. But that's the point, you know.

So, coming up with an archetypal image, like a little girl on top of a building wearing a cape, could trigger a trigger. Well, yeah, I'm a woman, and I'm a CEO. The same image could trigger. Yeah, I'm a nurse, and I help people for a living. It could also trigger. I'm a mom. And to me, that's my superpower. Being a mom. I use all women examples because of the little girl. But you see what I'm saying there? When you present images? It can. One person might be like, Oh, that's me being a mom. And you talk more about that, and another person's like, Oh, that's my career. And you can talk more about that.

Images are super, super, super helpful. So we also got to drink some wine. We don't want to underestimate the power of validation. I love Avatar so much. There is something super powerful about someone sitting with you and saying, I understand. And, like, I get it, I see you. That in itself is like, Oh, I think that you guys probably all have those relationships where someone just gets you. Or someone can reflect something back to you in such a clear way that's like, Oh my God. Yes. So, don't underestimate the power of validation.

I think that sometimes astrologers can be like, Well, it sounds like I'm just reflecting back to them what they already know. Slow down because that is powerful. Obviously, we want to give someone something more. But don't underestimate that, that wisdom, that magic. So we can have validation in two different ways: we can have validation through conversation, which is kind of what I was just talking about, having your experience named by someone else and reflected back to you in a compassionate and empathic way. That's one form of validation, just human to human. Another form, which is specific to astrology, is spiritually validating.

There is such a profound feeling that comes from a stranger, a literal stranger, naming your experience using something like a birth chart. It can really help people feel like, whoa, this is so much more than just me. This experience that I had is so much more than just me. This is karmic; this is divine, and this belongs here. That's very powerful. Now, on the other hand, sometimes validation. While it is powerful, sometimes it feels like it's not enough; you know, a client might be feeling super doomed or stuck or hopeless or anxious. And here are a couple of things that you can do. From an astrological standpoint, you can just reflect back to them that there are multiple expressions of each placement in their chart and of each archetype in them.

You can also say that the same placement isn't going to show up in the same way over and over and over again. This could also bring you into a conversation about karma and working with karma. And, like, I don't want to say freeing yourself of karma, you know, but like changing it, I guess. But you can go the route of multiplicity. And just let someone know that, like, no, things can't change like things can change. And things can mean different things at different points. For I have Saturn conjunct Venus in my chart, and that Saturn conjunct Venus looked very, very different when I was a kid, very different in my 20s, and very different now.

From another astrological standpoint, look at the supports in the chart. Someone's feeling stuck, hopeless, or anxious. We obviously want to help them. We don't want to say, Well, yeah, but if you look over here like this isn't terrible. You don't really want to say it like that. But you can say, well, let's take a look at the chart together. And let's see if there are some planets that really are trying to support this placement in this situation. That's karma, but they might not have the tools how to do that. They might not have the tools; the energy might not be conscious in the client yet. Or they might be super debilitated. So they're just struggling. But telling the client you're gonna look elsewhere to see if there's support and then go from there is helpful to help a client feel bad and sort of stuck.

Then, from a human standpoint, you can even engage in a little bit of conversation around, like, Okay, well, what you can say, you can share your beliefs and philosophies around struggle and hardship. And you can even ask them, well, in your experience, you know, how do you make sense of pain? How do you move through struggle and hardship? And you'll be able to hear them say, obviously, how they do that if they respond. But you might hear things like, you know, what, it sucked at the time. But on the other hand, I'm really glad it happened. You know, obviously, there are things that people don't say; I'm really glad that happened. But you might be able to hear things like, oh, okay. Actually, it's more important not for you to hear this. But for them to be like, Oh, yeah. Okay, I have gone through something like this before. And it may have taught me something. Or, just on the other side of that pain, there was a healing power.

I like to talk about alchemy when I talk about transforming pain and things like that. But that's just my jam. You can also talk about fate and free will. I think bringing up the topic of free will, and someone's like, okay, yeah, but like, Am I just gonna be like this forever? You know, because we get that as astrologers in to address that question. It's like, okay, well, what do you think about free will? What do you think about the ability to actively engage with the karma in your chart? You can go down that route a little bit; this creates a sense of empowerment, and it also puts the onus back on the client. Again, you don't want to say, well, this is how I think that your chart is going to help you move through the pain; the charts are not going to help you move through the pain. They're going to move through the pain or whatever modalities are effective for them. And we want to make sure that they know that.

Alexandra Skye
this is just a little something that I came up with. I can probably see myself saying this to people, but I probably never said it exactly like this. But perhaps the archetypes that create tension, anxiety, etc., are the characters inside of us who didn't get the space to express themselves naturally in the past due to certain circumstances. And those circumstances have changed now. So, these characters are learning their new roles, and we can help them through reflection and by having a relationship with them.

Alexandra Skye
Okay, so there's such a thing as also accidental invalidation. And being mindful of the time, and we might go a little bit over 12 o'clock, I know we have until 1230. But these next couple of slides are important. So accidental invalidation that looks like, you know, just something is off like you miss an opportunity to extend compassion and feel like let a person know that they're seen. That could be like you're moving too quickly through something like, hopefully, I'm not doing right now. Or you skipped over something that was probably really important for people. Like you may have heard a lot before, especially if you're a therapist and an astrologer. You may have heard like, Yep, I've heard this trauma before. Yep, I've heard this relationship dynamic before, whatever, but they might never have said it out loud before. So always remember that. Also, you can accidentally invalidate someone by just focusing on the positives of their chart. I get it. Like, we don't want to, like, bring up like all the nasty and all like the terrible or whatever.

Also, we like don't. We don't know, you know, but there's a tendency to be like, Oh, I just want to focus on the positives because that feels good. And hopefully, this person is happy. If we do that, there, we can accidentally invalidate someone because their experience on the other side of that live chart can be like, no, it hasn't been easy, and it's not happy. And it's not super positive all the time. But if an astrologer is looking at the chart and they're only saying it's positive. That leads to cognitive dissonance. But that leads to a disconnection and perhaps a feeling of shame and confusion. Well, why did I have all this hardship? If they say that everything should be great? Am I not living up to my karmic potential? You know, I guess maybe it'll get better. But I don't really see that happening. You can see how it forms questions like that. So, as much as we don't want to, might not want to talk about the negative stuff, it's important that we do. And this brings me to navigating difficult conversations.

So, I want to talk about how to actively bring up something that could be potentially challenging. It's very similar to if we get the tower card in a reading, and we're like, oh, that looks terrible. But there's so much more to that tower card than just people falling out of a burning building, you know, maybe those, maybe it was burning in there. And falling out is like the best thing that they could do. You know what I mean? One is if you are taking time before you meet with a client, or even while you're meeting with a client, and you see something that you get a ping of like, Oh, that looks challenging. It's probably your intuition.

Again, like, know, your triggers and things like that. And if you kind of have that wrapped away, it's probably your intuition. And if you see it, and you feel it, they probably feel it and experience it. So just remember that go off of their inquiries, or like, where the chart reading is kind of going, we don't want to just like bring something up to bring something up, because we think it'd be interesting to see if you're right, definitely don't do that.

Go off their inquiries. If they're wondering about a struggle, a challenge, or a pattern that they have that they don't want, go towards it. Use the chart to support and personify the planets, you know. So by this, what I mean is, instead of saying something like, Well, I can see here that you have potentially struggled with that at all. You see how I use the word I see here that you but what we couldn't say, well, Venus in this place, doesn't feel super comfortable. They don't feel like they have enough resources. They're trying to call the host of this place, and they're not answering.

So they're feeling a little lost, so we'll go with that. So that might look like this in your life: how might Venus feel last because she's in a certain place, say Venus is in Virgo, or something like that? She might feel this way. And personifying the plant. Cool. Personifying the planets, doing that, and talking about them helps take off the like. Well, you probably like that; you guys get the energy. It also helps the person have a relationship with the planet. So that's like one super, super helpful thing to do, if you're actively talking about a challenging topic, is to use the chart for support, use the planets and their places and aspects. Talk about them as little characters; I think it's really helpful.

And then, of course, we don't want to assume the worst, but we definitely want to consider it. So if you see something and it looks like, okay, what's coming up in my mind is like abuse, some sort of abuse. We want to give multiple manifestations. We don't want to just say you probably experienced abuse like that's not helpful. And we want to think archetypal. Let's go look like this. Well, I think prepping for talking about something like this looks like this; I'll clarify that we want to use the first word that we think of and break it down. So we're getting a little mercury energy here.

So if I think, Oh, I see this, I don't know. For some reason, I'm getting a feeling of abuse of some sort. For you, start with that word and break it down into archetypal experiences. So abuse, you can frame it in the sense that this planet could feel powerless. It could feel like maybe, at one point, there was not a lot of space for self-expression. Or in your life. Is there a domineering or aggressive authority figure?

This planet probably experienced some hardship, you know, through you in through you or you may you know, with that one I would say like, perhaps you experience some hardship around this because if we say like the planet experience hardship, I could feel like, Well, screw that planet as I did, you know. And also, it sounds like you really had a rise out of a dark, dark place. Those are all kinds of different ways to talk about abuse without saying the word abuse. And then, the same applies to health issues, we could say, challenging relationships with body and health, or, you know, the body and spirit or mine might seem to be on different pages.

Tell me a little bit more. We want to always invite room for conversation. It is a super helpful technique, I think. Alright, so how do we hold space for when clients talk about trauma and traumatic experiences? Well, one is that we got to kind of do that inner work when someone starts talking about this kind of stuff, difficult stuff, we want to connect back to that, like knowing thyself, the thing that we talked about the way in the beginning, we want to know our biases. And we want to know our responsibilities. Again, we don't have to just take this pain away from someone, nor is that effective. Knowing that, like, Okay, this is triggering me, but this isn't about me right now. This is about them. Also, a little therapy.

Now, if you do feel triggered during a session, just take note of it, put it aside, and make sure you come back to that trigger. That triggered part later on, maybe journal about it or something. Um, notice your initial reaction. Remember the hands-opening thing: create space, let it go, and open your heart up to what this person is telling you. And remember, you're just a conduit, you just a conduit, they're saying something to you, you might be getting intuitive nudges, you know, just kind of trust, which leads me to also trusting the client, trust the client and that they've done this work. They've probably had therapy. This isn't the first time they're thinking about this traumatic, well, maybe they haven't had that repeat, you know, but like, this isn't the first time that they're articulating this traumatic experience.

Trust that they can handle it because they can. And just remember that people are incredibly resilient. And maybe even go back to, like, well, what's your experience with pain and hardship? And remember that as someone's talking, it can be so so like, we can get into the like, Oh, God, I gotta save her, like, Oh, God, like I have to, like, help her whatever. But just kind of take a step back and trust a little bit. That also creates a sense of safety. Like, I've got this. I can hold this for this person. It's the worst feeling when we're talking about something hard, and someone's like, you can tell it, someone's freaking out because it's like, Oh, my God, like, they can't. We can't handle this, like, I don't want to share this with someone, and then they just kind of shut down. So we want to be open.

Alexandra Skye
So that's your inner work. Now, responding to someone. We've already talked about everything, guys who want to actively listen. Now, these people are doing very well. We want to express compassionate body language. When empathically reflected, it sounds like Blink. What I'm hearing is this. We also want to listen for authentic resilience and strength. And we want to add this to our reflections on them. We don't want to listen for just the positives and focus on that. That's not what we're doing. We want to see if strength and resilience are already present in what the client is saying to us.

So, we want to listen for words or words similar to these. I'm hearing like creativity, like creativity in the process of how they've dealt with something, you know, maybe extremely resourceful; you had to do what you had to do. You seem incredibly innovative and incredibly creative. And you're able to work your way out of situations where it might be, you know, difficult for others. Some words like I'm hearing that you're intuitive, or it sounds like you felt empowered, or sounds like you're connecting to a survivor kind of traits where it sounds like you're dedicated or you're determined. Listening to those traits is helpful to take the hardship, trauma, and challenges, and then kind of like, okay, like, what is the karma doing here? You know, why is this happening? Oh, it's bringing out this empowered sense in this person. We're always working with someone's karma. We're always trying to help someone recognize their karma at play.

Alexandra Skye
This is a little jargony. Again, well, not like jargony, but like specific, I guess. But if a client becomes emotional, the client starts to kind of like break down and cry all the time. I say something a little a little like this. If they, especially if they're saying like, Oh God, like I'm sorry, I'm sorry, like, you know, because people get uncomfortable crying in front of other people, you can say like this is a safe place like, we welcome all the full range of the human experience a full range of emotions all are welcome here. And also, I'm a big and also person. And also, I understand that it can feel very vulnerable and very overwhelming.

Sometimes, this will normalize and validate what they're going through. You can say so well that I am more than happy to stay here. Work through this and see how we can navigate through it using the chart. I also want to remind you what we talked about in the beginning: we can pivot at any time. You don't want to continue; we don't have to, but I'm here if you want it. So again, you're holding that place of power, you're holding that energy, and you're also giving them an outlet if they want to, then attract. Remember that we're gonna keep doing this; we're simply holding space.

Again, it's not our responsibility to take away someone's pain. And nor is that effective. As difficult as it is to hear something sometimes or go through on your own, connecting to that level of, like, karmicness will help you kind of like ground down to, like, this isn't my responsibility, they will come out on the other side of this as they move through their pain at their own pace. Now someone's asking you for your advice, or like, Oh, God, please help me with this traumatic thing. Whatever it is, you can do what's fair; it's totally fair. Okay, I'm not. There's no judgment here. But you can explicitly restate your role in a compassionate way. And say, like, you know, I can look at the chart, and we can see what supports are here.

Again, we can see how well this energy is manifesting, or Nan probably not that, but see the supports. See what the karmic potential is. But, you know, helping you specifically navigate through this is probably out of my scope of practice; you can also recommend things, you know, like I've found, or I know, others have found that therapy or energy healing, or if it's physical, you know, acupuncture, Reiki, things like that. Massages are very helpful to navigate these things.

You know, don't be afraid. It's not offensive; if you like, recommend something like that, especially if you do it in like a kind and caring way. And also, you can share that, like, as much as I want to take this pain away from you. I do believe that it's going to work best to move through you. If it comes from you. And I want to help you. And I want to give you maybe some things I can see in the chart to help you navigate this. And maybe you can also, if you're a reflective person, you know, tell someone like, I think reflective practice and insight-oriented practice is a good start. That's a good it's not like, yeah, yeah. Okay, and we're getting to the end here, guys; I hope that everyone's still engaged.

So lastly, what happens when a client just like goes and goes and goes and goes into their trauma or their struggle, or whatever it is? And we're not even using the chart at this time. And we're just like talking, and it feels a little bit more like therapy. We, of course, want to honor and acknowledge what's coming up for them. And that kind of looks like what we were talking about before with this. Okay. So, we want to honor and acknowledge what's coming up.

We also want to give options like this, which sounds very important to you; I want to make sure we can use the chart to reflect back to you or to help provide some clarity and guidance. So, do that kind of bring it back to the chart because this sounds important. And this sounds like a key point of your karma. Let's look at the chart. You know, you can just say kind of like that and bring it back to the chart. If you've only gotten to like one of their questions, and they had had others, and you're not getting there, you can name that too. We can absolutely stay with this and use the chart. Or we can move forward to another one of your questions if it seems just as important. Kind of give them the option. Empower them so they can choose.

Suppose they decide to move forward and leave a topic and move forward. It can feel a little jarring at times. But well, you can say one is okay, we can keep with this one, you know, and like provide clarity and relief and support and things like that kind of what I was saying or jump to a new topic, which again, can seem jarring. But if a client says no, I want to jump, energy reset. But I think always going back to the charts is helpful. Okay, and being a very basic session, you know, we want to give a kind of 15-minute warning. Do you have any questions right now? Do you need any clarifications? Did we not address something? We want to provide a summary and a recap of themes. And if this is what you want to do with your practice, you can offer a brief follow-up, you know, if anything comes up for you, if you have any, like basic questions, I can address them through email, you don't have to offer that. And then just kind of open your heart up again. You know, feel the energy that was just created with the two of you guys really sick with what just came up. A lot probably came up. You know, it's important not to rush through the end to give that warning and allow them to speak anything else if they have it.

Alexandra Skye
Then, after reading, especially if you're doing telehealth, well, not really; I guess in both situations and not telehealth, I meant like remote. After reading your close-down, you check in with yourself. You did it. We did the reading. We worked with the humans; we did all the astrology things. We want to kind of cut the energetic tie. However, that might work for you. Some people just literally do this. I wash my hands afterward. I'm just kind of brushed away. Want to notice our energy? What came up for us? Maybe address those triggers if they come up. Not right away, but just eventually celebrate your wins? Hell yeah. I did it. That felt so good. Oh, I really helped that person. Do it. You know, that's why we're here. The chicken was that inner critic. Oh, God, I could have done that better. But I thought it could get Bull. I don't know if yours is anything like mine; it could just go. So check in with that. Tell it to chill out for a second. Come back. Take a moment.

If you are working from home, just kind of cleanse around whatever before you go out and visit with your family or anyone else you live with. The last slide is about care. Super important for doing any type of healing work. His work is not easy. It's fun. It's difficult. It's also hard to sit with someone. So, learn your own rituals and flows, and know your boundaries. How many clients do I want to see in a day? How much time am I going to spend prepping? That's a big one for me. How much time do I want my sessions to be? Am I gonna make a charge for this? How much money am I going to charge? There's a typo and follow-up. But am I going to allow a follow-up of what I was saying before? Like, do I want the client to like to be in contact with me? Do I want the client to have my personal phone number? Do I want to stick with just Instagram, email, or my website? Kind of determine the access to you? Um, burnout is the thing. You're working with energy. You're working with the soul. It's great. It's beautiful. It's wonderful, heavy sometimes.

So, just kind of check in with yourself always. Am I feeling burned out or drained? It can be really helpful to reconnect with your Why? Why am I doing this? Truly not like, why am I doing this? But more of like, what's my reason why I can help fuel the soul up again? Again, work with those triggers. And lastly, find a community. You know, I think that I really got a community through Nightlight. I have a lot of nightlight students following me on Instagram, which is really cool and fun. And I think that a lot of people are here right now. Thank you. But just to the community, astrology is such a unique thing. And it can feel kind of lonely. When this is our world, we start to see everything through archetypes and astrology, and if people most people don't understand that, it can be lonely.

So, having a community is very helpful. Key takeaways here. I'm just gonna list through. I'm gonna read through them. There's power and connection, validation and witnessing. Always just listen with your heart. I know. Trust me, I know. We want to listen with our minds. But listen with your heart. Remain open and curious. Trust your intuition. Again, you are the conduit. You know, you're the conduit, and you're an intuitive being. Trust your intuition. That's like a huge part of all these interested climb clients and honor their journey. We did it. Thank you guys. I really, really thank you all so much.