Venus in Leo Square Jupiter in Taurus: Keeping Big Love Alive

Hey everyone, this is Adam Elenbaas from Nightlight Astrology, and today we're going to be taking a look at Venus's upcoming square to Jupiter. Venus has entered the sign of Leo and is moving into a square with Jupiter in Taurus, which is, of course, Venus's sign.

So this is a really nice square because we have reception between Jupiter and host Venus, and they're both benefics. So we're going to talk about the archetypal combination of Venus-Jupiter today. In particular, we're going to talk about how to keep love alive. And this is a subject that fits really nicely, not only for Venus-Jupiter but for the two planets combined.

One of the things that's happened to me over the years of seeing clients is that I regularly see clients who come in saying, you know, my relationship is struggling, or it's on the rocks, and people seek out, even though I'm not a love guru or anything like that. But people come to astrologers looking for help, when, you know, comparing charts will look at my chart and my husband's chart and helped me figure out, you know, where our hang-ups are, where are our strengths and our weaknesses?

You know, what's funny is that even though there are lots of things to see when people compare charts in relationships, or even parents and kids and how to get along with family members, in my humble opinion, it's never so much that you have to figure out what the chart is saying and where you're getting it wrong and where you're getting it right according to charts. It's so much more basic than that.

I mean, for example, when people come in, and they're dealing with a Saturn problem, or they're dealing with a Mars problem, or they're, you know, one place or another, and it's amazing how simple and effective it can be to learn how to develop a mindfulness practice or a prayer practice or a walking or journaling practice or some meditation. It seems like some very basic things that we can overlook that can tremendously help and transform and heal ourselves or our relationships that are not so much rooted in the astrology but are rooted in very simple practices that we can do that can remediate and help difficult karma.

Throughout the history of astrology, there have always been remediating instructions that have been given that really aren't so much rooted in astrology as they are rooted in almost like basic human spiritual common sense that can help and to help remediate any kind of karmic affliction.

Well, I would say that Venus-Jupiter is a transit that, in many ways, reflects all of the best practices that I have seen over the years that are at play in the relationships with people who seem to be getting along, as well as the practices that, for example, my wife and I have, have used when we're at our best and you know, no relationship is at its best 100% of the time. But there are practices that we can use that can help us to enhance our feelings of closeness, intimacy, and connection with friends, family members, with lovers. I think that there's no better time to say I'm gonna get back to that; I'm gonna get back to some of those things when Venus is squaring Jupiter.

We're going to explain why that is the case by looking at the archetypal combination of Venus-Jupiter. And then we're gonna talk about five different ways that we can access this energy in the next week, say, to return to or even start, if we've never had them before, some of the best practices that keep us connected and in love with those that we love. So that is our agenda for today.

I am going to also be joined by my wife Ashley, who is an herbalist and longtime yoga instructor, and she will be joining us and helping contribute to this topic because, interestingly enough, she has a couple of planets in Taurus square to Jupiter in Leo. I'm a Taurus rising with my ascendant ruler squared to my ascendant Venus and Leo, so we both have a good amount of energy in our charts across the Leo Taurus axis.

So again, let me just say I brought her on the other day when we talked about Jupiter entering Taurus, and it was one of my most popular episodes of the year because I just feel like Ashley has a lot of wisdom when it comes to Taurus energy, in particular, a lot of wisdom with a lot of things. But she's so good at talking and getting to the heart of Taurus energy as a Sun Moon Taurus. So anyway, she's going to join us today and help drop some wisdom on us as well. That is our agenda for the day.

Before we get into it, don't forget to like and subscribe. Share your comments and tell us what you do to stay close to the people that you love. It could be anyone in your life; you don't have to be, you know, in a relationship to listen to this episode. What do you do in order to stay close to other people? How are you experiencing or accessing the energy of this transit?

We'd love to hear from you guys. You can find a transcript of today's talk on the website nightlightastrology.com. I want to send you over there as well because our classes are just getting started. The New Class Ancient Astrology for the Modern Mystic starts this weekend. So I want to point out that it is not too late to sign up. Go to the Courses page, click on the first-year course, and scroll down so you can learn more about it. There are 30 classes on the year there's they're all live webinars, but they are also recorded, so you can attend remotely or live. We have a group forum discussion staffed with tutors. We have breakout study session staff to tutor. So there's a lot of support built into the program to help you through a really deep, immersive one-year journey into the heart of ancient astrology.

At the bottom of the page, you'll find some different options in terms of how you can enroll; you will find that there is an early bird payment that saves you $500. There's a payment plan if you'd like to spread the payment out, and you can see tuition assistance there at the bottom. If you need a little help to make the program affordable. Check out the need-based tuition option. If you have any questions about our program or enrollment options, email us at info@nightlightastrology.com. So, on that note, I'm very glad to welcome Ashley back to the show. Hey, Ashley.

Ashley
Hey, thanks for having me back. I'm so excited to talk about gardening and plants and all of those good things.

Adam Elenbaas
Yeah, we're going to be utilizing a bunch of gardening and plant metaphors today as a way of accessing this conversation about Venus and Jupiter. Again, because Ashley also has a really nice connection between the Taurus and Leo areas in her chart, and so do I, I felt like it'd be a good one to tag team, and we've been just enjoying doing some content together lately, too.

Let's take a look at the transit, and then we will get into it and start getting through are going through our list of Venus-Jupiter practices. So June 11, Venus will square Jupiter. And let's put this up on the screen so that we can see it. So you're going to see that on June 11. On June 11, we have Venus in up, alright, so Venus is on June 11. That's Sunday. So this is your Friday video that's essentially preparing you for the Venus Jupiter square, which will be coming through on Sunday.

Okay, but this energy is in the air for three degrees prior to the connection, and three degrees after that effectively means that Venus has been in the area of this transit since Tuesday, June 6, and is going to be in the vicinity of Jupiter, all the way through about Thursday, June 15. So you've got a nice long; this has already been in the works this week. So some of what we're talking about people might go, you know what, I've already been experiencing that.

Or you might notice it coming through over the weekend really strongly, especially Sunday, June 11, and then you may notice it all the way through next week. What we're trying to do today is focused specifically on the archetypal combination of Venus-Jupiter as it applies to practices of love and connection. And we have to ask ourselves, well, why is that, like, why choose this topic?

The reason for that is that Jupiter, broadly speaking in the ancient world, was associated with Zeus, first of all, and in a broader sense, Jupiter has to do with all of the institutions of the world and of our communities and our civilizations that hold us together under the banner of virtue. Right. The legal system, ideally, is supposed to be about justice and fairness, and equity. We have governments, you know, different forms of government that ideally are about holding society together in some sense of harmony. We have universities that are about educating us so that we can understand how the universe is put together; it is meaningfully ordered. That's why we call it a University.

So, Jupiter has to do with all of those systems that we create, not in a Saturnian sense, right? Not in a like a structure that you adhere to some kind of, you know, strict rigid, you know, you can't breathe in it or something like that, that constraining; when a structure becomes that way. Eventually, it has to be reset and opened back up.

In ancient astrology, those were the cycles that's what the cycles of Jupiter and Saturn were all about. Remember, Saturn represents the Golden Age and the king of the Cosmos that is usurped and replaced by Jupiter, and the two were also represented winter and spring simultaneously. So you could say that in a way Saturn is like the, the Saturn is like, you can see the garden and what it must have been, but it's kind of dead now. And you're going to have to wait for that garden to appear in the spring again before it feels like Jupiter and Saturn has a lot of other really important roles to play. It's not just like dead systems, right, so don't take it that way. But that's one of the roles that Saturn can play is sort of like a system that has become rigid and hollow, and it's like a husk of itself, and it's sort of dead.

Jupiter, on the other hand, represents the system that keeps everything together coherently and vibrantly; the word Cosmos, it shares the same root of the word kosmetic, which means a well-arranged whole like cosmetic makeup that you put on your face; you look like a well-arranged hole. So this is what my hat is for because if you saw my hair, I would not look like a well-arranged whole. But, you know, the idea is that Jupiter provides us with that. So what happens when Jupiter is in Venus, a sign of Taurus, an earth sign?

It says the way that the world right now that what you need in your life in some areas, it's different for all of us, is you need to create a well-arranged whole operating on the premises of Venus. So that well-arranged whole is one that takes into consideration the wisdom of the body, of color, of texture, of taste of sound, of music, sex, and desire, of beauty, and appetite, of food, and of friendship and harmony, and pleasant sounds and things that work well together in a set not only in a functional sense, it operates well, but it feels good, and it is pleasant and pleasing somehow to the body and the senses. So that's Venus's history.

So Jupiter is saying, how do we create systems that are essentially about feeling good, that are about looking and feeling good. So when Venus is also going to now move through the sign of Leo and connect? Well, then, we have something really powerful because Venus is in the sign of the Sun, which is connected to the heart. So now we're going really deep into romantic territory. We're saying, How do I create Venusian systems that uphold my life and give it a feeling of ease, peace, flow, and beauty?

Then, how do I connect the heart to that? The personal heart? How does the personal kind of the romantic, theatrical, grandiose heart of Leo come in and help to create that system? So when Ashley and I were talking about this on an archetypal level, we said this would be a great time to talk about the ways in which we can create healthy practices in our lives.

Just like I was saying about how sometimes astrology clients come to me saying, Okay, can you help me fix my astrology? Instead, I'm, you know, I go to the, to the space of being a yoga teacher and owning a yoga studio for ten years. And I say, you know, the easiest way to remediate some of that karma is to go for a walk and breathe, you know, it's like, it's so. And actually, wouldn't you say that as an herbalist, sometimes it's not so much an herb you're handing someone as it is simple practices that can help heal and regulate us?

Ashley
Yeah, I think the goal with herbalism is to get the person back to a state of their own self-regulation, and so yeah, sometimes the best-regulating principles for a client, it isn't the plant medicine; it's actually a practice. So a practice that they can upkeep, and that will really help them stay in that more regulated space. So absolutely.

Adam Elenbaas
Right. I mean, sometimes we come on, and we say, okay, there's this planetary alignment, and try to take this herb.

Ashley
I'm not saying they don't work because they definitely work. And there's a, you know, a lot of times where herbs are absolutely needed and really do help. Yet, I think herbs work best when they're partnered with principles or they're partnered with some sort of more holistic action. So that there is, you know, and that's why I always talk about making teas. It's like the ritual of tea making in itself is healing, you know, even before you bring the glass to your lips, the practice of making a ritual cup of tea every night. That's medicine, too.

So I think that there's a lot that we can do in our environment during these transits that can help us reestablish new practices and ways of living and partnering with the people in our lives. So that it's not something that becomes a chore or like a pill we have to swallow every morning, but these practices become things that really excite us and invigorate us.

Adam Elenbaas
Yeah, the way that I think about this, how we sort of conceptualize this talk was, sometimes it's good to give people herbs, and we when you guys know, when we do videos together, we're often like, here's the astrology going on right now. Here's an herb to work with. But what we realized is that you know, a lot of the times, the transit that comes about is actually a transit that may be opportune for launching, starting, or returning to practices that are so basic that, that we forget how powerful they are.

So with Venus, Jupiter, Ashley and I started thinking about all of the ways that just, I guess in particular, we have a list of five, we're going to go over with you guys, five ways that we can tend our relationships and enhance and deepen loving connections that we have, that could be with friends, family members, your children, your lover or spouse, people that you work with, how do we enhance or tend the living things first.

So we're going to go through these five ways, and actually, that's just giving away the banner. So the banner is, we talked about this when Jupiter entered Taurus actually came out, and we talked about this idea of tending the living things. First, will you just reiterate what that concept is about from the standpoint of being an herbalist and a yogi, and so forth?

Ashley
Yeah, I think there are a lot of times we can get overwhelmed by the number of things we should do, the To Do lists, you know, all of those. So, to me, this simple phrase of 10 the living things first is a way for us to reorient ourselves to what really matters. It's the living things that matter, not the laundry, not the dishes, not, you know, all of the other things that we might still have to do. But if we can prioritize the living things, especially right now, our relationships first, then all sorts of spaciousness will grow from that.

This idea of what we're going to be talking about today is using the garden as a metaphor and using at least the way that Adam and I have been living since spring hit Minnesota, which I want to say has been for four months, its been two months, things have actually gotten warmer, but just from living outside and being outside and our relationship with the plants. How do we use that garden as a metaphor to give some examples of how we can create new patterns and rituals, and practices?

Adam Elenbaas
Yeah, I mean, Jupiter in the sign of Taurus is sort of like the Gospel according to the gardener, you know, and the wisdom right now for our relationships that exists in Jupiter that comes through Jupiter in Taurus is very earthy. So what we did was we sat down, and we said, let's think about gardening metaphors. Let's think about the wisdom of the garden and how the garden teaches us to tend to not only the living things first, like plants and animals, but to each other. How does gardening act as a sage, giving us counsel for our relationships?

So we have five ways that Jupiter in Taurus, as a tender of living things first, can help us right now to either return to these practices if you've drifted from them because that happens. We know these things are all intuitive, and they're very basic; they are powerfully remediating for some of the most difficult karma we can have in our charts, and you can easily drift from them.

At the same time, we can think to ourselves, that would be a good idea, but maybe we don't ever try it. So hopefully, you'll either return to these things or try them out if you're not. Let's go through them.

I'm going to start number one is sharing biorhythms. I'll say this first, Ashley and I, before we had kids, had, we were we owned a yoga studio together that was based out of a home, for starters, but we shared sleep and wake cycles and morning devotions that we did together. A lot of evening rituals that we did together, and you know, everyone's life is different with jobs and so forth. But there were biorhythms that we shared, then kids came.

So what we're getting back to right now is amazing, has just as soon as Jupiter entered Taurus, there was just this dawning, and it was like, Oh my God, there is space back in our lives now that our kids are a little bit older, five, and almost five and seven now where we can get back to those things. It was sort of like, what this is so simple, how you know, it's like you can your rhythms can drift apart over time with people that you love, and rhythms look different for a friendship or for a marriage or rhythms that you create with your kids.

But the point is that having some rhythms that you feature and that you return to that becomes like the heartbeat of a friendship, a relationship, or a marriage. Those things are deeply healing, profoundly impactful, can keep you close, and can enrich your life in so many ways to share little rhythms with the people you love.

We had drifted from those, and we're we just got back to them; we got back to going to bed at about the same time sleeping through the night because the kids are sleeping through the night, waking in the morning, and doing our devotions like we used to before the kids were born. So those things came back to us as soon as Jupiter re-entered Taurus.

That is amazing, and it's amazing how healing and simple they are. But that's an example of a biorhythm, but actually, say more about biorhythms and say more about why biorhythms are fitting, like, how do gardens teach us the wisdom of biorhythms?

Ashley
Well, the plants themselves, I mean, they, they live on light and dark cycles. And we too, I mean, even though we don't have, you know, chloroplasts, you know, we are synced up with the rhythms of night and day. So I think with the plants, you know, one of the things that they've taught me is that, well, you know, there's that phrase, that early bird gets the worm, but there's something really true about how much we win when we wake up early, you know, we don't just get the worm or whatever might be there, but we get spaciousness.

I remember, in yoga, one of the main teachings was that you wake up early because that's when the atmosphere is most. And this is an Ayurvedic term, sattvic. But it's like the most peaceful; the midday is very, very active. The late day is more, you know, like, lazy and quiet. And it's, you know if we become a little more dull in the evening, but the morning is like that, the best time for meditation.

I think for me in the garden, when I'm out in the morning when the birds are chirping, and there's no traffic, there's really not much activity, there's a peacefulness and, and that's when everything starts to come alive. That's when the plants want to be watered, and with biorhythms to the gardens, and my house plants, in particular, they like watering cycles.

I have a specific cycle that I water on my house plants, and they anticipated, I have one peace Lily, who, it will just if I miss one day, it'll go, like just it's like the most, it's like a drama queen, she just will wilt and pretend like she's completely dead. I'll water her, and like, within four hours, she's back up looking perky.

But there are rhythms that the plants have and that they'll show us if we pay attention to them, and I think in relationships, you know, our relationships need watering, they need tending, they need that attention. I think you know if we can sync up like a gardener syncs up and pays attention to when the plants need care if we sync up to our partners, and just when does our partner need a date night? When do we need a family movie night? Like there's going to be certain rhythms when you're like, Okay, I can feel the needs of this other? And how do I sync up and make sure that we aren't going too long before we have these really important moments of quality time?

Adam Elenbaas
Right? Yeah, I think, for example, there was a study that was done. I never remember where I read it. So I apologize. But I read it, was it basically said that kids that get a morning and breakfast routine that does not have to be elaborate; a way of waking up that's similar, a way of having breakfast with other human beings with a family, ideally, you know, that's similar, some quality nutrition, and then they're gonna go off to school or whatever, they come home, and they're greeted, when they come home by someone doesn't not everyone, maybe but by someone ideally.

Now, this can't happen for everybody we understand, and that have a routine around dinner and bedtime. Those routines are not just routines in terms of functionality like brushing your teeth, blah, blah, blah, but you create some fun rituals around how those things happen. Little songs or little, you know, the bedtime rituals with reading and so forth. That kids that have that consistently as they're growing up were able to show resilience, emotional resiliency at a much higher level than people who didn't have those rhythms.

I don't know how they measured all of this or anything. But that was the idea that the search, the research said, creating these little rhythms of waken sleep cycles of food, and of just decorating them with a little bit of meaningful interaction that's consistent from the time that they're in school to the time they finish school, sets them up to be just amazingly successful on an emotional level able to endure things that a lot of other people might have a lot harder time getting through. That's such a Jupiter in Taurus piece of wisdom, steady, simple rhythms.

Ashley
I think that resiliency that you're speaking of that's so important, I think, right now, and that emotional resiliency, especially because, yeah, I mean, there's a lot of stressors in the world right now. The more that we can have these rhythms for ourselves, for our children, and with our partners, it creates security.

You know, I think when there's a lot of chaos in an environment, the nervous system goes into fight or flight or freeze or any of those trauma responses. So how do we create these rhythms so that our bodies can feel safe? It can, you know, stabilize, be open, be receptive, and as a default. Then, of course, when a stressor comes in, then there's a greater ability to adapt because you haven't been in that hyper-vigilant state the whole day. Yeah, that's a cool study.

Adam Elenbaas
Number two is co-creativity. Tell us, how do gardens teach us about co-creativity? And what does that look like in our relationships?

Ashley
One of my favorite things about gardening is the design portion and, you know, in order to design a garden, there's a, there's a lot of creativity that has to happen, you know, there's so many different ways to create a garden. But as some, you know, you kind of do have to know plants, you have to know how big this plant is going to get, what color flowers, what are the light requirements. So there's a lot of information that you have to gather first, but then once you know that information, planning a garden, and the creativity that you can bring out, there's nothing like it.

Because it's a living, it's living art, it's like, you know, it's not just I like to draw, and then it's like, Okay, I've drawn it, it's there. But a garden is something that continually evolves on its own once you've done that initial planning and creative process. You know, I think that it's co-creative because I can lay out what it is I want, but then the plants, the Sun and the water, they on their own, they're living, you know, like the plants are living.

So based on what they're getting from their environment, they're going to also create their own things that the artists can't anticipate, you know, they're going to show and shine in ways and produce in ways that you might not even that might not have been on the radar. I think for creativity, there are, at least in the garden, there are some guidelines that can be helpful, and there's one in particular if any of you really like to do container gardening; this is a really cool little acronym to help you, but it's actually it's not even an acronym. It's like a little rhyme, clue, or cue.

So it's when you're putting plants together in a container garden, you pick one plant, that is the thrill, one that will fill and one that will spill. If you do that, if you just have those three things, every time you put your pant plants in a pot, or a planter, or a flower box, and you have those three elements, it will always look amazing.

So the thrill is the plant with the most color, it's the pop, it's like the tall, it's the one that has like the oranges and the pinks and just the bright pop of color. And maybe it has some really cool variations on its leaves; the fill is what's going to take up the most space; usually, it's the greenery, and it's going to really fill out the space, and then the spill is usually the draping, the ivy, the Lobelia, a lot of different ones, the baby's breath that are gonna grow down and kind of creep along. So those together create balance every time.

Adam Elenbaas
So when co creativity when we have the presence of these things in a garden, how do we translate that as a metaphor into our relationships? What does the wisdom of Jupiter and Taurus teach us about how to bring that into our living relationships?

Ashley
Well, I think, you know, one thing, if we think about gardening as art, then if we can bring art into our relationships, that will bring out the best in all parties, and it will create surprise, and I think that's something that is always good for relationships is like, show me something I don't know about you, or tell me something you've never told me before.

So when we bring art into any relationship, there's an opportunity to be surprised. So I think, you know, in a more practical sense, you know, with our kids, there's this great little coloring book I got from my girls; it's called like color with Mom. So, on one page, the child has a prompt that prompts the child to draw something, and then Mom adds to that particular art.

So you're co-creating, and then a conversation can happen around, you know, well, why did you put that there, or why is mom on a triceratops or whatever it might be? Then the same thing happens in relationships. I know you know, Adam, you and I have been doing some art projects together, of just coming up with something that we've been talking about or working on in our relationship, and then sitting down and doing some art and just creating something, and then sharing it. For me, at least, it's been so helpful because, you know, I'm able to see parts of you and hear you express things in ways I've never heard you express them before.

Adam Elenbaas
Yeah, I mean, co-creativity can be literally; let's sit down and do artwork or vision boarding or something and give each other prompts. It can be, you know, another one that we did recently was we sat down and gave each other poetry prompts, and then 15 minutes to write, and then shared our poems. It might sound corny, and if you're not into, you know, poetry, or drawing or vision boards, it could be something else, you know, creative space, could be dancing together, it could be going out and dancing.

You know, it's like, it's like, just creating purposeful spaces of creativity with the people that you love. Don't just always go to dinner and a movie with a friend, don't just always, you know, go to coffee and talk about, you know, I don't know, the latest gossip, even if it is really important and it's good to do that somewhat regularly so maybe that's one of your rhythms, you know, but, you know, what does it look like to go for a bicycle ride with someone into a place you've never been before?

It's like creativity can really look and feel in a lot of different ways. So, but the point is that there's, is I hear you, Ashley, is that you're saying that gardening is a creative process, you're seeing creation happen, and you're participating in it, and it works on you as much as you're helping plants to grow are tending to them. They're tending to you in the space is ultimately creative.

Ashley
Yeah. I mean, it's like, I'll never forget the first time I grew chamomile. And it was like these spindly, little tiny, you know, feathery little leaves. Then one day, there were like flowers, and I just that, that that moment will ever forever stay in my mind as like, I helped you. I didn't make you, but I helped you, and I was a part of you, blossoming as you are right now. And there's a reciprocal joy that happens, I think when you're co-creating with another being.

Adam Elenbaas
Well, that leads us to the next one, which is a little spicy, and that is foreplay or anticipation. Now, foreplay is one that is going to be appropriate, obviously, for lovers, you know, marriage partners, or something like that. The same concept of anticipation is really at play in all of our relationships. So we're going to talk about this from two different angles. The basic metaphor that we discussed was that, you know, gardening is so much about the process; it's about the journey, not the destination, you get times when the medicine is ready to be harvested, or something is in bloom, or the flower is showing itself.

Yet, so much of the joy of gardening is in the neuroticism of it that you're tending to something and going along with a process that is building a charge, and the satisfaction is so much in the arc of that journey, not just the payoff of taking the medicine off the plant, or, you know, in the same way, that you know, for 1000s of years, cultures, spiritual cultures, and what they've said about sexuality, you know, all around the planet has always been, you know, building that charge with your lover, not just climaxing.

But the way that a charge is built for a few days or throughout a day leading up to, you know, actual, physical intimacy. That's hugely important. Because you're tending something, you're watching it grow; you're watching it develop, and the satisfaction is really in the whole process.

That's easy to skip over when you know life gets busy. And you still have; you have needs and desires, and it's easy to skip over that in the same way that it's easy to get busy and tend to a garden in a functional way. I got to water the plants, I gotta get to work, and there's no sense of that watering the plants is enjoyable and is a part of something that's building toward deeper intimacy and really in the pleasure of the senses and of the body in mind. How did I do with that one? I'm not the gardener that you are. But how did I do?

Ashley
Yeah, that's exactly it; that is the process. So that's so enjoyable. And when you're talking, it made me think of something that one of my ru Vedic friends used to teach in a yoga studio shared that one of the reasons why cooking is so important and not always eating out is because when you are chopping certain spices, and chopping vegetables, that as soon as your, your nose starts to smell those different scents, your digestive system begins producing very specific enzymes anticipating those things to come in to be digested.

So if you're chopping garlic, there are specific enzymes; if there's meat, cooking specific enzymes, if there's, you know, bread, baking all of the, you know, your, your senses, take that in, and then your whole system knows exactly what's coming. I think that that's kind of the same thing that we're trying to do with intimate partners or any sort of relationship, even with our kids, is building that anticipation. Knowing what we're anticipating, you know, it can be specific that you're building a charge for, you know, for a more sexual type of experience, or you're building a charge, you know, you're getting your kids really excited to go to Disney World, or whatever it is, but that it's specific and consistent and knowing that your body, like, as you tend that, and as you're giving your body those signals of anticipation, it's giving it a chance to be ready for whatever that thing is that you're waiting for.

Adam Elenbaas
I've mentioned this in, you know, multiple videos over the years, but some people are newer to my channel and may not have heard me talk about karezza before; karezza is something that I've recommended to people; it's not for everyone, but it's an interesting practice that was important for Ashley and I at the start of our relationship; it's a practice of orgasmless intimacy. You know, some people are going to find that that's absolutely not, you know, their taste or their approach.

But one of the things that it's really good for is in one of the sort of core philosophies of karezza, which is about making love and creating rhythms or patterns of deepening pleasure, but kind of holding yourselves back from going over the edge and, you know, karezza practitioners can vary in terms of their philosophy; some people will say that even doing this a couple of times a week, and then maybe alternating with a couple of times a week, where you climax, or doing this for prolonged periods of time in your relationship without any climax whatsoever.

There are lots of different theories. I will say that, as you know, as a, as a couple, that had a big impact on us, because it really at the beginning of our relationship, it was something that really taught us to not move past the stage of being intimate for intimacy sake, not for the sake of, you know, getting off for lack of a better phrase. And now, that may be like TMI for some people. But I think that it's important because one of the things, even if you just take that philosophically, whether you actually look up and ever try karezza or not as a philosophy, that we could all use a little bit more of karezza in our lives when it comes not only to literal lovemaking but to pleasure itself. That pleasure is something that we can try to experience without pushing ourselves over the edge where it's like I'm past satiation.

Ashley
It kind of reminds me of what we do with our kids sometimes, which is delaying gratification, you know, it's like, you really want that thing, I know you want that thing, that thing is so amazing, it's going to be the best thing when you get that thing. But you're not going to get it now; you're going to just have to wait. You know, depending on what the thing is and how old the child is. But that's delaying the instant gratification of something; it really does. It builds that anticipation and that charge. So there's so many ways, I think, to apply this, right, that is really healthy, it's really healthy for the mind, the body, and for the heart too.

Adam Elenbaas
Yeah, and Karezza is very similar to many different contract philosophies in just in terms of it being about the process, the intimacy, the connection, and being careful about the thing that can actually end up spoiling the connection to those things that are most desirable and most satisfying, is going too much too quickly and not sort of savoring.

I noticed that when I go to other countries, and I've not been to a million other countries or anything, but when I go to other countries, there are certain places in the world it's much more common to move through your meal and all the stages of a meal much more slowly and to savor it; to let in a dinner be an entire evening to let the dinner be as much about a social experience as it is about just filling up because you're hungry.

You know, that kind of philosophy, I think overall, is what this is about gardens don't do much super, super rapidly, you know? I think one of the other things that we've always had the philosophy of, and this is fun for friendships for families, is having things that you look forward to that are in the distance, a trip, you're going to take, a concert, you're going to go see plan things out, you know, a month or two down the line that you can have to look forward to because half of what makes our relationships so fulfilling is the anticipation of the great things that we're going to do, right.

So anyway, let's go on to number four, which is intimacy and privacy. Tell us about how gardens give us the wisdom of intimacy or privacy.

Ashley
I think a lot of people go to gardens, and they find themselves in gardens looking for a peaceful place where they can be with their own thoughts, where they can be away from a lot of technology and away from a lot of people talking to them. So I think nature and people go to nature too. I mean, we think about a lot of the great poets who ventured into nature too; yeah, clear their minds to get privacy so that they could build intimacy with themselves with their souls.

But I also think that you know, one of the things that gardens can really help us appreciate is the process of growth and, sort of, the quietness under which real intimacy happens. I know, for me as an herbalist, when I'm out in the garden, it's really when I'm by myself that I connect most deeply with the plants, you know, when I sit there, and I stroke their leaves, and I smell, and I look, and I listen, and I check the soil and, you know, really spend that time, that's when the bonds calm, or when I sit in a forest.

Those quiet spaces are where it happens, and it's hard because, you know, I have an Instagram following him on YouTube, probably like a lot of you, but, you know, it's like, don't take a picture, Ashley, don't put it, don't post a picture of you in the garden. It's like, you know, it's like this weird push and pull of, like, I'm having a moment; this is my moment. And it used to be that I would, I would take pictures all the time and post them of me doing things in nature, but, but it's been an interesting, especially, I think, in the last like six months, and even more in the last few months. That just doesn't seem as appealing. It's like, somehow, I'm noticing that the magic of those moments dissipates when I post them.

Adam Elenbaas
That's really nicely put, I think one of the things that we do with our girls is we take days where one of our girls will go with me, and the other will go with Ashley to have, you know, daddy-daughter, mommy-daughter dates there. It's just alone time with us. And then we'll switch on another day. And we'll do it in reverse.

Every relationship needs a feeling like I think of that famous story, the Secret Garden; you know, the heart like secrets, and it likes privacy, and some of the most beautiful things, you know, have to grow in very specific little nooks and crannies. I think the wisdom of Jupiter and Taurus, we think of the wisdom of a garden, is that we need to create spaces in our lives and all of our relationships where things have, like, quiet little corners in which things that can't come out any other way we'll come forward that deep talk that you have that revealing of things that you haven't shown or said.

So intimacy and privacy are something that gardens seem to evoke and that all of our relationships really need, and it's so easy if you take the time to be quiet and gentle with another soul going on a walk, you know, getting out in nature, if that's your thing. Those spaces end up being so healing and so helpful, and they can people always ask how do you remediate bad karma around this or that it's like, find some quiet time for yourself. Find some quiet, intimate spaces with people you care about. It works wonders.

Number five is healing connections. This one is right up your alley because you're an herbalist who literally uses plants to help people heal but tell us more about this metaphor.

Ashley
Being in a garden, you know, I think it was your friend Tom who said something about, you know, isn't it funny that we need these studies to tell such common sense things like being in a garden is good for your mental health or walking barefoot is good for your mental health. There's this thing called forest bathing, but it's really it's very simple stuff that when we're in nature and especially for me, and I think a lot of people that work in gardens when you're in the garden, you're only in the garden, you can't be anywhere else you can't.

It's really hard to multitask when you are in nature and engaging really in a present way, and that's healing our nervous system needs that, like we need time where we're disconnected from, you know, all of the different social media outlets and times where we're just really plugged into one thing at a time, including our partnerships and our relationships. So I think the healing piece is so important because if we don't make time and we don't give presents to those relationships, that we're not going to, there's not going to be that possibility of reciprocation, of the healing coming back to us through our efforts.

Adam Elenbaas
Yeah. It's, you know, one of the reasons that we are here is if, you know, if I had to put at the top of my list, like why are we here? The big philosophical question, it's cheesy, it's, you've heard it a million times, but it is to love and be loved. One of the things that we do is we carry so many things, and that heavy things, you know, we carry burdens, we carry hurts, we live with trauma. There's a lot of uncertainty and fear, and insecurity rooted in being alive. Just the tender vulnerability of being a living being, and part of how we remediate that quite literally is to have relationships to feature and focus and move up the priority list closeness with people that we love, family, friends, lovers, co-creative people that you're doing stuff with at work, whatever.

Because when we focus on those connections in the same way that a garden offers, it naturally just offers medicine, so many plants are just medicinal. So many people are medicinal. Most people that we know and meet and spend time with, we spend quality time with them. They are literal embodiments of medicine. They help us heal; they help us let go. They help us grieve. They help us process; they help us understand and not literally by acting as therapists but by being embodiments of love.

Just in the same way, when you go to sleep at night, your body naturally heals itself. When we spend time with other human beings and love and connection, friendship, joy, fun, laughter, spontaneity, play, intimacy, privacy of foreplay, and anticipation, building a charge with people, being creative with people creating healthy rhythms with people. When we do these things, people heal us, and we have the chance to heal other people.

So beautiful how profound it's been, too, for Ashley and I just sit down and access some plant metaphors that can. Jupiter in Taurus can help us right now.

Ashley
Yeah, I think it's great, and I think it points us back to how simple it is, which is what we kind of opened with, which is, you know, really, we can distill, we could take each one of these points and even if we can just do one small thing from each of these categories like it can make such a profound difference. I love that there's so much Taurus energy in the air that like makes my heart so happy and my soul so happy. But it just seems like it's a great opportunity right now to say, What food like what fertilizer? What will fertilize the relationship that I want to grow the most?

Adam Elenbaas
Yeah, absolutely. Well, I want to tell everybody how you can follow Ashley and her work. First of all, you can check her out at Skyhouseherbs.com. I'm going to actually pull it up on the screen so that you can see actually has some garden gatherings happening this summer at our home community medicine garden here in Minnesota in the Twin Cities area. So you can check those out on the Events tab and everything else that Ashley is up to skyhouseherbs.com on Instagram. Do I have it right? Is it Skyhouseherbs on Instagram as well?

Ashley
It is. Yep.

Adam Elenbaas
On YouTube, you can also follow Ashley's work. She makes regular content on herbs, plant spirit medicine, and herbal wisdom, and sometimes our crossover videos will appear on her channel as well. But it's skyhouseherbs on YouTube as well. Do I have that one, right?

Ashley
You do, thank you.

Adam Elenbaas
Yeah, Ashley's happy because the last, I think, time or two that she came on. I totally forgot to plug her YouTube channel and her Instagram, and I was like, I suck; I'm so sorry. Because I'm I am like no; I'm like very, very good at when I have guests on I always plug their stuff, and my wife is in the other room. And I just was like; everyone knows Ashley, I didn't, so I just spaced so silly.

Ashley
I was like, maybe next time, if it's okay, we Could just mention, you know,
yeah, it's totally okay. And thank you for remembering because I didn't even remind you. It's because we've been building this closeness. You anticipated my needs. So thank you.

Adam Elenbaas
I can't even tell you guys the fact that we are our wake-sleep cycles, our spiritual morning routines, our evening rituals, all these things that we did that were so healthy for us before we had kids. The fact that they're back right now the, I feel like the peace lily man; I feel like the little dramatic piece lily that got the water again. So for you guys out there listening like people who really love each other, friends, family members, and lovers, it is very easy to lose track of the simplest things.

Like I didn't think well, there's not like I'm walking around like, Oh, I'm unhappy in my marriage. Right? And you might have friendships in your life, or your kids or whatever, and you're like, I'm not unhappy. Nothing's really wrong. Yeah, but add dinner time together every night. Add the little things in and watch it just blossom in ways that you're like, Oh, I'm feeling good, but it can actually be so much brighter, happier. You know, everything else. So anyway, thank you so much for being here and helping illuminate this topic for us. I love you.

Ashley
I love you. Love you. Love you, and thank you. I do love these. I love our talks as well. And let's do it more.

Adam Elenbaas
Yeah. Well, thank you, everybody, for listening to us, gosh, and I hope that you find something good in this insurance. Share something about your own wisdom and experiences with us in the comment section. We'd love to hear from you guys and we will see you again next week. Take it easy, everyone. Bye.