12th House Sun Part Two: A live Reading with Lindsey

Hey everyone, this is Adam Elenbaas from Nightlight Astrology, and today we are going to take a look at another live reading that I did in one of my online classrooms. So I got a lot of great feedback from everybody. Last week when we took a look at a live reading that I did with a client named Chelsea. So this week, I'm going to show you that one that I did with a woman named Lindsey, who also was kind enough to give me permission for us to replay that reading that I did in my classroom. It was a couple of reasons for doing this. I mentioned these last week; I'll say them again now.

One is that I like to provide people with craft videos from time to time; I know that people listen or watch to take in the astrology and have an understanding of whatever archetypal combinations might be coming through on any given day of the week. But I know that people also watch the channel because you're students of astrology. And what I hope these videos accomplish is to just add something to your continued development and growth as a student of astrology. To me, it's not that I think, Oh, well, this is the way to read charts. And this is the only way to read charts. So this is the only way that this reading could have or should have happened. It's that seeing professional astrologers read, I think, just gives you a sense for what a reading looks like, especially if you're like, you know, I have some skills in astrology, I might want to start reading charts well, look at how someone who's been doing it for a while, conducts and holds himself during a reading and how they create conversation with a client, how they read an employee, the symbols, how they use transits.

I claim no kingship here. I'm not. I don't consider myself to be the world's greatest astrologer or anything; I just have been doing it a long time. And I love to do it. And I love the kinds of conversations that get generated in the way that the symbols come in to make something meaningful. That hopefully is useful for someone. This reading was a really fun one because it was pretty jovial is pretty upbeat; she had a pretty good understanding of astrology. And the conversation went in some unexpected directions. I would say this; this reading had a lot more spontaneity. Some of my readings depending on the day, time, you know, the client, and different circumstances; there'll be more structure and more that I bring to the reading of a plan or a set agenda.

This one was very, there was a plan, but then it was pretty spontaneous in parts too. And I think, also that Lindsay was just a fantastic client in the way that she was able to share openly and honestly, and vulnerably. And that is really the way that I approach astrology; so much of it has to do with, you know, the kinds of conversation that we can create with the client. So we can get in there and figure out what's really important. What's your life story? And, you know, how does your life story feed into this moment right now and the questions you have in this moment? So anyway, I hope you guys will enjoy this reading with Lindsey. I'm also the reason that I am showing this.

The reason that I'm sharing readings like this is to promote my upcoming programs, where we go through a lot of theory, technique, history, and philosophy, and you learn how to read a birth chart. But then the last part of class, we have people like this come in. And then, for about two hours after they leave, we break down the reading, and people can ask questions, and we have a conversation about it. So it becomes like a craft workshop. And to me, that is one of the best parts about my program is that you get to have that experience of working with actual people, and you get their chart in advance, you get to prep along with me, you see me read for them, and then you get to participate in the craft breakdown. So it's a great part of my program. If you want to learn more about the program, the class begins on November 12. We still have at the time of that I'm recording this, we still have about 150, a little bit less than that now need-based tuition scholarships available. So please do take advantage of those if you could use a little help in making the program accessible for your budget.

Now I say that not so much as, like, it's something that we offer as a sale, because Isn't it nice to have a sale price for that we have the early bird, we also have a tuition plan, you can stretch it out to make it more affordable. This is for people who are on a fixed income, or you have some kind of financial constraint in your life. Maybe you're a single mom, or whatever the case might be that you just say, it's just a stretch too much. And that's not going to change anytime soon. I'm out of work, or I'm only part-time employed, or I'm a full-time student, or I'm on disability. I got a fixed retirement income. Or maybe you are you and your husband are both working a job, but you have kids, and you're on a really tight budget. We get that's why we provide this, and there's been a lot of people contacting me, to be honest, with a little bit of guilt and shame. Like, I don't know if I qualify, and then they tell me the story, and I'm like, just use it; that's what it's there for. We want people who are feeling tight. Financially we know that a lot of people struggle financially.

And so this big part of my mission as an astrologer, like one of my guiding ethical principles, has always been making astrology accessible. That's why I make content year-round for free and then just have people donate if they want to at the end. And I offer, you know, the classes at tuition breaks for people who need them. We'll be starting a donation-based Reading Clinic in the next year. This is a big I feel like astrology should be for the people, so to speak.

So, at any rate, you can learn more about the program though; if you have any questions about it, feel free to email us info @nightlightastrology.com. It's a one-year course with 30 classes on the year. At the bottom, you will find the payment plans for the tuition assistance you can apply for. So check it out, and hope to see some of you in class soon.

Before we get into it, don't forget to like and subscribe, and share a few comments as you go. Please keep the comments kind and constructive. There is another human being whose chart is getting read here. And you know, any kind of judgy nasty comments, I'll just, you know, I'll delete them. Because we really want to be in an atmosphere that's supportive and safe for people to have shared this kind of content. So, at any rate, with that being said, I hope that you will enjoy this reading with Lindsey and learn a lot from it. Okay, take it easy, everyone. Bye. Hi. Nice to see you. Thanks for being here today.

Lindsey
Thank you for having me. I'm really excited.

Adam Elenbaas
Oh, good. So let me just confirm your time. I've got April 2, 1999. Does that sound right? Mm-hmm. Yep. 7:35am. Yep. In Las Vegas, Nevada. Yes. Okay, perfect. We're going to go, I'm going to put your chart up on the screen, and your video is doing better now. So keep our eye on it. But so, just a little breakdown of how this works. Before we get into it. Essentially, we are in a year-long program where people are taking their astrological studies further by seeing a day in the life of an astrologer. So I try to bring in clients every week, two times a month, on average, for a whole year so that students can be like, Well, what does it look like to actually apply all of this stuff, you know, in your client practice. And then after you leave for the day, we break down craft and talk about, you know, this symbol or that symbol, or maybe what people learn from the reading or something like that. So you're effectively like our guinea pig for the day. We thank you. But it is, I mean, it is really no different than ever a reading I would do in my client practice every day. So you know, you're not getting any less than I give in any one every day.

So on that note, the purpose of this reading was to bring in a client who might be dealing with some heavier topics or like a season that's been challenging. A lot of people come to me as an astrologer, as you can imagine, like dealing with something that's more intense, and can astrology help me get some perspective, or give me some advice, or just help me understand what I've been going through? And so I specifically really just appreciated what you shared about just kind of where you've been and what's been going on, and I thought it would make for a good conversation. But you should know that you know, just you and I talking but a group of students learning and observing share as much or as little as you feel comfortable with. We'll send you a recording of the reading afterward. So you don't have to take notes or anything. You'll get you know you can listen back to it and keep it and stuff, and as we go, you know if anything I'm saying doesn't make any sense. Just pause me. Do you have some background in astrology already? Or do you know your chart very well?

Lindsey
I have some background in astrology. I've been interested in astrology for a really long time. But I think my background is more with kind of like evolutionary astrology, and it's only been within like the last year year and a half that I've started looking more into Hellenistic astrology. I actually was I was in your nightlight 22 courses, but around the time that I started it, my dad's health started to decline, and he passed away last October, so I'm kind of self-pacing it and haven't really been able to get into it a lot yet. Um, I would say I've always kind of focused more on, like, uncomfortable with like the archetypes of like the signs and the planets and maybe more of like the philosophy but the more like technical aspects, houses, you know, I'm okay with, but like degrees and aspects and things like that, I'm pretty lost.

Adam Elenbaas
Yeah, yeah, that's fine. Um, well, why don't we find that? No, why don't we dive in? We'll take about an hour, and I think it helps if we start with; even though you wrote to me, I think it would be helpful to hear you kind of just reiterate what's been happening some of the events that recently have been important, and some of the questions are focused that you'd like us to take that would be most useful for you.

Lindsey
Yeah, my dad passed away last October, and my relationship with him and our relationship with both of my parents has always been very difficult. And I feel like that kind of led to me having sort of a lot of issues with my, I guess, sense of self, sense of identity. And sort of, I don't know, like, I just have a lot of patterns in my life of kind of being sort of very, I guess, rigid with myself, feeling like there are things I'm not allowed to do; feeling afraid to do things and kind of just being afraid to be myself. A lot of issues with identity, self-confidence, and seeing myself clearly. And I sort of feel like after my dad passed away, which those issues kind of have manifested into a lot of areas in, in, like, relationships, sex, pretty much, I mean, they've kind of found their way into every area of my life. But after my dad passed away, I've sort of started going through kind of a transformation where, you know, I'm starting to kind of feel more bravery and confidence in a lot of those areas and starting to sort of, like, loosen up and be more lighthearted. And yeah, I don't know; basically, I'm just kind of going through, you know, a really exciting and, like, magical period, but also a very confusing period. Because, you know, I'm sort of allowing myself to do things I've never done before, like doing things maybe I've always been interested in but was afraid to go and do alone, exploring, like casual dating, and casual sex and things like that. And basically just kind of allowing myself to come out of my shell and sort of live life.

So it's exciting but also very confusing and uncomfortable, and I feel like a fish out of water. Yeah, I mean, basically, my questions were, number one, you know, I was just kind of wondering if, you know, this period in my life, like, I've never really casually dated or explored casual sex, you know, I've had a couple of relationships, but they've sort of developed, you know, very, like, organically and not because I was looking for them. And so one of my questions was, you know, I guess, Am I kind of on the right track with sort of, you know, allowing myself to be like, more casual and kind of explore and have fun in those areas of life, or, you know, would now maybe be a good time to enter into something more serious with someone I've been seeing. And then also my living situation. I've been living with my mother since my dad passed away, which has been difficult. She's an alcoholic, and it's a pretty emotionally volatile environment. But you know, I wanted to be here to kind of support her and help her. But it gets to a point now, where, you know, I'm kind of wondering if maybe now it'd be a good time to start looking into moving out and, you know, transitioning out of being here, or, you know, I'm just kind of looking for some insight into that situation as well, I guess.

Adam Elenbaas
Gotcha. So, um, your Father passed in October? I'm sorry to hear that. Thank you. When was it suddenly? Or did you know, was he sick for a while? When did you find out that he was sick?

Lindsey
So he had Hepatitis C my entire life, and he sort of made the decision to let it go, kind of untreated. I think he was afraid to sort of, you know, have to change his life and go to the regular doctor's appointments and things like that. So I knew from a pretty young age that he was eventually going, likely going to get liver cancer. And then, when I was 15, he ended up getting liver cancer. So he was sick for about eight years before he passed away. So it was something that, you know, I knew was coming for most of my wife, um, especially after the cancer diagnosis. So it was something that I definitely knew was coming and was, I mean, I guess as prepared as you, you know, can be for something like that.

Adam Elenbaas 14:40
Oh, so do you remember the year that he was diagnosed with liver cancer?

Lindsay
Yeah, it was 2015.

Adam
Okay, I just want to take a look at a few things really quickly. Okay. Yeah. So just, you know, for the, for people who are listening in. When was he was diagnosed, Pluto was squaring your sun, which is going to be the planet here that represents bad. So the diagnosis the kind of okay, there's, you know, when you've known it for a long time, he's probably gonna get liver cancer at some point. The marker of, you know, kind of the beginning of the end, you might say, seems to coincide with Pluto squaring the sun. Does that make sense to you when I say that?

Lindsey
Yeah, yeah, a little bit.

Adam
So Pluto is going to be a planet that coincides with themes like death, transformation, the kinds of events in our lives that are pretty powerful, you know, in our biography, in terms of, like, deep transformational moments where there's often a kind of death and rebirth for us personally. So this starts in 2015 is Pluto squaring your sun, and the sun is going to be the planet that represents Father's. Also, in your chart, the sun rules the fourth house, which is the actual house of the Father. So the sun is definitely a planet we would look to in your chart for karma that's manifesting around your relationship with your dad. So in 2015, when he's diagnosed with liver cancer, Pluto, Lord of Death, and rebirth is squaring the sun. So it's the kind of the beginning of a very powerful season of change. Does that make a little more sense now?

Linsey
Yeah, no, that makes total sense.

Adam
So then, if we fast forward just a little bit more, Pluto, or excuse me, Saturn, also made a square to your son, kind of more recently, in 2018 and 19. So it's possible that you would have been seeing almost continued deterioration or worsening or something like that.

Lindsey
Yeah, definitely.

Adam Elenbaas
And then the other thing is, at the time of his actual passing, and I'm just kind of summarizing the notes here. This is in July, or excuse me, October of 2021. Correct? (Yes.) So at the time of his passing, the other thing that was happening, it wasn't so much of, I mean, Mars was opposing the sun right around that time. And so that's a little bit of, you know, signature, perhaps, of your dad passing, but it was also transiting Saturn, squaring your moon. And the moon is also going to be associated with, say, family karma, broadly speaking. So when you have family karma, or stuff with your mom, or stuff with your parents, or your living environment, the moon will often show up, specifically things to do with the Father; oftentimes, it's the sun. So we see Pluto squaring the sun with the diagnosis, and then when he passes, Mars is opposing the sun, and Saturn is squaring the moon. So it's kind of this time of, like, loss and grief in the family and so forth. So that's kind of that's just a brief explanation of how the planets were showing up around those key dates. Does that make sense?

Lindsey
Yeah, that makes total sense.

Adam Elenbaas
Okay. So what I want to understand before I say more about what's going on now is how you see because you intimated that this passing of your Father has coincided with some pretty big psychological changes in you and loosening up exploration, spontaneity, a more casual approach to intimacy, you know, So these are really, you know, I have some thoughts about some transits that might correspond with that, but to meet to link them meaningfully to the passage of your dad. Could you tell me a little bit more about how you see his passing related to this shift in you so I understand it more?

Lindsey
Yeah, absolutely. So I mean, I think a large part of it was, like I said, you know, and I have a lot of love for my dad's spirit, I think in a strange way, you know, my relationship with him now is better than it ever was when he was here. But he, um, I think a lot of my issues around sort of identity and feeling, I guess, comfortable and secure enough in myself to be able to, you know, casually like explore intimacy and to be able to sort of just allow myself have to, live life and feel like, you know, I'm kind of allowed to be like in certain spaces and things like that. I think a lot of my issues with my identity are kind of rooted in my dad. I dealt with a lot of kind of projection and gaslighting from him really early on. His relationship with my mother was very difficult. And I think I sort of became, I was never seen clearly for, like, who I was. I had sort of a lot of their issues with each other projected onto me all of the time and traits and characteristics that maybe they disliked in the other person projected onto me all of the time. And he definitely struggled a lot with rage, and I was, unfortunately, like the recipient of that a lot of the time. So I think really, him passing away, in a sense, was sort of, I mean, I don't want to say like a freeing experience, but, you know, and my relationship with him before he passed away, especially in the couple years leading up to it, he really did become a lot more of like a gentle person, um, I saw like, a lot of change in him and our relationship got a lot better.

So it's not like, you know, he was this like, super abusive person that I was like, necessarily, you know, waiting to escape or something like that. But, you know, I definitely do think something about him passing was very freeing for me in the sense that sort of all of these things that, you know, I had been burdened with, and all of these sorts of kind of feelings about myself that had been created from my relationship with my dad, and from feeling like, you know, he never saw me clearly, I was never good enough for him, he never saw me for who I was just issues with self-esteem and things like that, that came from my relationship with my dad being really hard. I think that just when he passed away, something about that felt very, very free.

Adam Elenbaas
This is an exercise that I think might be interesting. Let's pretend that you are in like an image in your mind's eye, maybe just even close your eyes; it helps me certainly when I do something like to close my eyes. So let's imagine in your mind's eye that you're in a beautiful temple; whatever your mind's eye sees, that's your temple. It's a sacred space. And let's say that, in that temple, you know, you're you've come to speak to the Oracle, the birth chart is the Oracle. I'm just like, trying to interpret it, that you're talking to the birth chart, you're talking to the Oracle, the birth cert in a beautiful temple. The first thing that, let's say that you've spoken all of this to the Oracle, the Oracle asks you to fill in the blank. My Father passed. And I feel free because and then fill in the blank.

Lindsey
I mean, the first thing that comes to mind is, I guess, because there's no longer someone or something. Not really him necessarily, but the relationship like repressing me, that's really. Yeah, that's the word that comes to mind is like I'm no longer repressed.

Adam Elenbaas
Okay, let's close your eyes again. So we're just going to put that into like a simple statement. Same question. My Father passed, and I feel free because of, a simple sentence.

Lindsey
I am no longer repressed.

Adam Elenbaas
Beautiful. It's really interesting. Let me show you a few things in your birth chart that I think really reflect. I think it's real. First of all, thank you for doing that. I think it's really helpful. To make those connections and to make them solidly. Sometimes, it's like, you know, we can reflect on things and be like, Well, I think this is why, you know, and I think it's really helpful to go to that space where we just, we get certainty and, we kind of concretize it, say, I'm free because I'm no longer repressed, then it's as though our psyche can take that and start working with it. And if it needs to be modified or changed or our statement is somehow off, we can adjust it, but it's really hard to adjust it or to work with it unless we can kind of settle in on what we see the connection as.

So, anyway, I think that was step one. And I think that it's really super important that we sort of formulated it like that. The second thing is just to get to the natal signature, right? There are two levels to this, as far as I can tell. Here's what we're seeing around Venus and Saturn in the first house. Can you see that? Can you see me drawing? (Oh, yes.) Okay, good. So, you're, you know, you're a child of Venus. You're a Taurus rising. I can relate to that. I'm a Taurus rising. Child of Venus. So a lover of beauty, sensuality, romance, where you know, good food, what, you know, Taurus, Taurus loves everything that sort of like beautiful and luxurious and comfortable and stable and very, you know, very goddess oriented with Venus in her own sign in the first house. It's like, just thoroughly Venusian.

However, Saturn is also present in that house, you know, the Khronos, the devourer of children. Right. So what is what does it mean for Saturn to be talked about as the devourer of children? Well, you know, in, of course, there's the literal mythic story. But let's say for a second that we think of children as youthfulness. If we think of children as childhood, or if we think of children as a kind of innocent, carefree joyfulness, Saturn as a planet tends to eat those things. But Saturn, eventually in the story, also spits them back out, the sort of forced to spit them back out. I have found, time and time again, that Saturn likes to swallow things in the youthful stage of life. By later in life, he's forced to spit them back out; usually, you know, just time has a way of forcing Saturn to sort of spit back out the things that he took. And then we become, in a sense, the wounds become an integral part of the story. I didn't quite know how to be carefree, spontaneous, joyful; I felt like elements of my identity, or my childhood was sort of muted, sometimes by the presence of a Kronos, like Father, or mother or their marriage, or whatever it was, and then, you know, later in life, somehow, you know, I have, it's almost like, Saturn has to give those things up. And I have to find a way of reintegrating them. It's a funny thing that you can feel like you're having to learn how to be like a child when you're, you know, you're, you're in your, you know, Saturn Return or you're in your 20s, or, you know, whatever the case might be, it's like, I shouldn't be; I shouldn't have to find qualities that, in a sense, almost feel regressive. Like, oh, I, you know, everyone else was getting laid in high school, you know.

Lindsey
Totally that's exactly what I feel like I'm going through right now. Sorry to cut you off. But I'm like, that's, yeah, exactly. That's exactly what it feels like.

Adam Elenbaas
Yeah. And so you just went through what's called a last quarter Saturn square, which means you're going through almost like the, you know, the, if you imagine the fruit on a tree, it's ripe. And then it starts, you know, getting heavy; it's going to fall off the vine. Once it falls to the ground, you better eat it pretty quick because otherwise, it's gonna go bad. Right? So you're at that stage in your Saturn cycle, which takes you all the way from birth to about 30 years old. Where, you know, the fruit on the vine has fallen off, and it's like a harvesting moment of what you've learned through the first, you know, 20 Well, let's see, what are your 23? (Yeah, yeah.) So, first 23 years of life, you know, and between now and the Saturn Return, which happens around, say, 29 years old.

This harvesting moment, the death of your Father, the regurgitating of some of these qualities that, you know, it's going to be about integrating them. And some of the integration is going to mean swinging back and forth between, you know, maybe sort of like the restrictive stuff of Saturn and then overcompensating and going kind of wild, you know, right? So It can kind of like swing back and forth, feel fine that right around 29, Everything should really integrate very nicely with respect to this period from the death of your Father. Up until that point, there'll be a time where you know, body image, self-esteem, commitment versus, you know, fun. All of those things will probably have found a meaningful middle path. Saturn in the first house is never going to leave. So there will always be like a measured, slightly more careful, thoughtful Saturn, in addition to being this swallower of children, is also a planet of, you know, wisdom and time and patience, determined steadiness. It's a planet associated with monks and people who spend many years studying things or mastering things. So it's, it's also a planet, you could say, of self-mastery when it's in the first house, or of learning to with Venus and Saturn in the first house. I've seen people with that, for example, who are into like classical music or ballet where there's some mixture of aesthetics with control or discipline and beauty.

So you'll be learning to, like, those two planets will go; I think it'll be less about Saturn repressing Venus. And it'll be more about, you know, how do these two planets get along and sort of find their integration and in my, in my psyche? So, first of all, I just think it's really helpful. I feel like you're, there's nothing. When I look at your chart and hear what you've been through, I go, of course, you know. The other thing that's really interesting is since May of 2018, right around the same time, we saw some of that tightening more difficult, maybe signs of dad's health starting to diminish more rapidly with Saturn squaring the Sun 2018-19, Uranus, the God of freedom, and liberation and revolution and breaking the mold and throwing off the shackles of oppression. You know, Uranus, this revolutionary God, enters the first house and starts conjoining Saturn. This summer, it's pressing into a conjunction with Venus by the end of this month. So, you know, in terms of like, I don't, you know, I don't know that it's even possible to choose anything other than like, you know, free love and, you know, Woodstock with that kind of transit. It's nuts, you know, I mean, like, the need or desire to change the story, whether it's around body sex style, clothing, or appearance. You know, it's pretty dramatic. It's like the feeling of needing to reinvent Venus, as Venus is a part of you and your relationship to your body, and so forth. So you're, I think, you know, there's no way that I would see, like, I, I couldn't imagine a really super committed relationship right now. I might be wrong about that. But Venus Uranus periods, unless you're already in a relationship, and you're like, hey, let's bring some handcuffs in or something. Like it usually is about an existing relationship, sort of rekindling something or evolving sexually or, you know, breakthroughs within an existing relationship. Or it tends to be about experimentation, fun loosening up exactly those things that you're sort of doing.

Lindsey
That makes complete sense.

Adam Elenbaas
So I get the feeling that sort of like what's on the menu for a little bit, you know, in fact, like, you know, if you take it forward, we'll have to share notes because Venus, I have Venus at 19 Leo, so it's squaring my natal Venus right now. And like, you know, I changed my whole wardrobe like I, you know, like, just all sorts of like, very, like, change the way that you what kind of art or music you're listening to, or it's like a whole Venusian revolution, and then it's going to head over our Ascendance, I'm at 25, Taurus rising, you're 26. So between now and, say, 2025. We've both, you know, Tauruses in general, have like three more years of Taurus risings of having Uranus work through the first house, and that's going to do a lot of things.

Some of them are like, you know, be careful, you don't get a tattoo you'll regret, or you know, sleep With the swamp monster on accident, you know, but it is like have fun Shake It Up experiment. One of the things that for me, for example, I'll share this since, um, you know, my background is in yoga and everything well, yoga can be sometimes pretty strict when it comes to the distinction between spirituality and materiality. And Uranus on Venus is really a transit that says, Look, how do you marry those two things together so that spirit and matter are actually sacred and one and the same. Something about this may also be like, okay, Spot spontaneous sex with this person feels like a transgression, but spontaneous sex with this other person whose soul I really get and who gets mine, and there's this kind of appreciation and respect. It doesn't matter if it's promiscuous or not; it feels sacred.

So, you know, it's like, I think those just kinds of making those distinctions with Uranus. And Venus is also important as you go along and figure out what is the Venusian revolution; that's good for me, my body, my identity. But that also, you know, I'm not losing myself in kind of, like, you know, some kind of Dyonesian mosh pit, you know what I mean? Like, right, so, so it's just finding that balance, and it sounds to me, like, you're probably going to compensate more on the side of Saturn. So, you know, err on the side of freedom and experimentation for a little bit. I think that's just my advice, but I'm not; it's not coming from anywhere other than, you know, just being a person with opinions.

Lindsey
Yeah, no, but that's super, super, like affirming to hear because I do tend to err more like on the side of Saturn and feeling like, well, okay, you know, I've had my fun, but maybe I need to, I mean, not that I'm doing anything so crazy, you know, but I just think that I definitely it feels good to know that, you know, just to have it affirm that what I feel like I should be doing right now. You know, make sense?

Adam Elenbaas
Yeah. Yeah, Saturn will always be like, alright, well, probably should go to bed. You know, get up nice and early and be responsible. So, yeah, there's more, though, which is the second piece of this is, to me, this placement in your chart. Can you see that?

Lindsey
Oh, yes. I was waiting for this. Yeah.

Adam Elenbaas
Okay. So there's like, an exalted sun in Aries along with Zeus. And, you know, it's like, Oh, my God, you know, it's, like, do you ever have you ever seen Game of Thrones?

Lindsey
I actually have not no.

Adam Elenbaas
Okay. Then now the or the example won't work then. But some of those guys are just like, barrel-chested giants, you know? And it's kind of like there's a barrel-chested, Amazonian warrior, you know, hanging out in the 12th house, which is the joy of Saturn, the person who likes to eat children and the Amazonian warrior goddesses, apparently. So. Saturn's joy in the 12th house is tough for Aries because Aries, in particular, is the sign in which Saturn has its fall. Like if you think of Jupiter in the sun in Aries, I literally think of, you know, I don't know, like a woman riding a stallion bareback through the desert like with an eagle on her shoulder or something, you know,

Zeus' animal is the eagle. So, you know, there's freedom. There's a kind of like, you could say, entrepreneurial pioneering, trailblazing risk-taking courageous, daring, individualistic, and these qualities are so amplified through the sun's exultation and Jupiter in Aries. And that fact is that also they had just conjoined in a sonatic conjunction; they're very close to a conjunction on the chart. This is disposed of these two planets, which means they're in the sign of Mars, and where is Mars? Retrograde in the seventh house. So what is Mars Retrograde in the seventh house? Well, the seventh house was called by Indian astrologers and was called kama or pleasure. Mars Retrograde can deal sometimes very intensely, with trouble when it comes to asserting oneself. Like if you think of Mars as the planet of assertion and will and its retrograde. It's sort of like that, that person who's, you know, waiting at the edge of the ski hill to go down and, you know, it's like they're so scared and then all of a sudden, they get Get this crazy look in their eye. And then they just launched themselves over the hill. And suddenly, they're going 90 miles an hour down the hill. It's like that throughout the lifetime of a Mars Retrograde, one of the big lessons you see over and over again is how to release the will from a feeling of inhibitions or fear or worry. And there's usually this is going to go one of two ways.

It's in the seventh house, a place of pleasure, love, sexuality, etc. So there's something in you around pleasure, not so different from Venus, Saturn, that wants to be very free, that wants to be powerful, that wants to feel strong. Like a very, like I think of a woman who might want to, you know, like, beyond the cover of a magazine, it feels like she could but somehow is too afraid to assert the strength of her personality in a photo shoot, you know. Or you think of someone who might be like, you know, hey, I don't want to be passive or submissive in love or relationships, I want to be more dominant in the way I express love or affection or even sexuality, but I'm too scared. And so I end up with people who are domineering, or I end up with people who are serious pushovers. Because, you know, I'm, I'm scared of Mars, and I need to feel safe. So I'm only going to date people who are, like, sort of mirroring that Mars Retrograde. But any of those things also are part of sort of the same expression. Like, I actually want to be free and strong and assertive, and not domineering. But, like, I want to be able to feel passionate and okay with my will. Does that make sense?

Lindsey
Yeah, that makes complete sense. And that's definitely not only I mean, that's been, you know, a huge theme of my entire life, but especially right now, you know, and I feel like a lot of the exploration that I have been doing like with my sexuality and sort of becoming more comfortable in my own body in that way and becoming more just comfortable in that sphere of life has transferred over into literally feeling more confident in just regular day to day life, you know, in all aspects of life. But ya know, everything is said today; it's so much it's unreal.

Adam Elenbaas
Yeah, I mean, let's just, let's just this will be kind of fun. Let me just show you something. I'm just gonna pull it up on my computer for a second. The word libido. So, the etymological roots of the word libido include the idea of being granted permission or the liberty granted to do something.

Lindsey
Wow. That's amazing.

Adam Elenbaas
Yeah. And, to me, it's like that's, it's more than you know, more than sex or more than just that feeling of like, I have permission to do something and you're gonna the feeling of the urge or impulse to act is so strong with Jupiter and Sun in Aries, but there they are in Saturn's house, you know, answering to the retrograde Mars in the seventh. Now, I suspect that there is a much deeper level of this that is going to get unlocked through a few transits that are coming up.

They involve Pluto. Pluto is going to enter Aquarius in March between, say, March of 2023 and the spring of 2025 Pluto is going to enter Aquarius and start squaring the moon and Saturn. Now, why is this important? I suspect that one of the reasons that you may feel like I don't have permission to act or be in a way that feels right to me is because the moon Saturn also carries; very often that you have Moon Saturn opposition across the chart and this moon Saturn opposition which Pluto will be squaring and opening up.

It's usually associated with two things one obligation, so Moon Saturn feels obligated. I'm responsible for so and so; I'm responsible for my mother; I'm responsible for my dad. You know why better or I ought to do this thing because I, you know, there's this it's almost like you're there's a feeling of duty or heaviness or obligation or responsibility. That's, like, way too much. And Moon Saturn, I mean, you know, The plus side looks, I would trust, you know, someone with the moon, Saturn, opposition. If they have, you know, if they're a nanny, that's their resume for me is that I'm like, Okay, you're gonna be really responsible, you know, like, okay, are my kids gonna have fun? I don't know, but they won't die, you know?

So. So you know, it's like that well, okay, so one of the things that you mentioned is that, you know, mom's an alcoholic, you grew up in some real dysfunction, you got stuck in the middle between your parents in an alcoholic environment. I'm not going to; I know enough from family members who are in AAA and Al-Anon and stuff like that, that the constellation of family karma around some of this stuff is really heavy, you know, and it, whether it's the ways in which we enable to keep ourselves safe, or if it's the ways in which we take on too much to try to, you know, the kids are often the ones who are placed with this weird role of making everyone stick together.

You know, because it's like, well, we have kids so, and then the kids feel that and so and then they, feel like, you know, I've I kind of have to make everyone feel good or feel a certain way. Whatever the case might be. Just to say that there are a lot of complicated dynamics that are probably still there, even though your dad's passed because your mom's still an alcoholic, right? You're living with her. I do think that it is not going to be very long before you leave. Now. I don't know when that'll be, but I can tell you that it's not; you're not going to last staying with Mom through Pluto square your moon. I highly it would really shock me. That's my guess.

Lindsey
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I definitely the tension is definitely building so it, I for sure feel like it's time to to make a move at some point soon. I'm definitely feeling that tension and feeling the push to kind of find a different situation.

Adam Elenbaas
Yeah. If you know, Pluto squares, the moon starts to square it next March. So maybe it's before then, maybe it's after that. But here's the thing is, even if you move, that's not the end, because you got about, you know, 2023 to five, where Pluto's continuing to work on. Remember that statement, my father passed, and I feel free because I am no longer repressed. There is a statement that looks like that might be a little different. But it's a similar statement that I would anticipate being created. You know, it's karmically that's, so a new statement like that about your mom arises between 2023 and 25. And that doesn't mean your mom will die. But it could mean she hits rock bottom?

Lindsey
Yes. Which is, I mean, that's part of the reason why, you know, I'm starting to feel like now is when I need to sort of think about moving out because I actually recently had a conversation with my aunt, her sister, about the fact that, you know, she's been an alcoholic my entire life. But I see her; I see her starting to hit her rock bottom; I see her kind of definitely going down on that slope. And I literally use those exact words, you know, on the phone with my aunt a couple of weeks ago. So definitely, that's the direction that things look like they're headed in. So that makes a lot of sense.

Adam Elenbaas
Um, two things that come to my mind after hearing you say that one is that this is just again, from the family in my own journey with alcoholism throughout my family, my wife's family. We were in some ways, I don't know. But in some ways, it is very possible that we become you don't want to enable someone from hitting, you know, from hitting that rock bottom or keep keeping them they might need to hit that rock bottom. Sometimes the feeling of like, I gotta stay here shits gonna get really bad. You know, it's like, yeah, but you don't want to enable someone to keep dog paddling across an ocean. And not to say what you should do or shouldn't do. Just keep that in mind. That's one thing.

The second thing that I thought of was, take this or leave this, but in my experience, even if it's just for a temporary period of time, going to Al-Anon; being in a group with people who are dealing with recovery from being in a family of alcoholics is just as real for many people as recovery from alcoholism itself. And I've just in terms of my wife and I and the benefits that Al-Anon has made in our lives, I couldn't recommend it more highly as a very safe therapeutic space to heal from the trauma of growing up in an alcoholic environment.

Lindsey
Thank you so much, and I'm actually really glad that you said that because literally, both of the things you just said were like, exactly what I talked to my aunt about a couple of weeks ago, which was number one, you know, I was kind of asking her, you know, it's, it's hard to gauge how much I guess, responsibility, you know, you have, or what you should do in a situation where, you know, you can see someone you care about, about to hit rock bottom, because obviously, you know, it doesn't feel good to sit back and do nothing.

But also, you don't want to enable them and you don't want to; it's hard to know how much to do. And so I was talking to my aunt kind of about that. And then one of the things that that conversation led to, was actually because my aunt, their father, was an alcoholic. And so my aunt actually went through Al-Anon and was talking to me about it, and sort of, you know, telling me how much it helped her. And it's definitely something that I've been sort of tossing around and considering, so it's good to hear you, um, to hear you say that. And it's definitely something that I'm really, really thinking about.

Adam Elenbaas
Yeah, I always tell people, because sometimes I know this to be true is that, you know, 12 Step programs for many people become like a religion. And that's cool. I think I've met a lot of people through Al-Anon and community of Al-Anon, who come through for a meaningful period of time, just to be talking with other people who are literally dealing with things that are so eerily similar, you know, and hearing how other people are dealing with it and reading some wisdom, literature on like, how to deal with situations like that. I just, I never really thought I'd be someone I don't know, I have so many other tools like yoga and blah, blah, blah, but it's really, it's really helped me a lot.

Lindsey
No, it's really good to hear you say that because I think that's a large part of the reason why I have not gone to Al-Anon is I'm like, well, but you know, I have this and that. And I have this other way of coping with it. And but I mean, a big part of the appeal to me has been, you know, and feel really nice to just be around people that resonate and understand and to just be like, seen in that way. So I'm glad you brought that up. I definitely am going to look into that.

Adam Elenbaas
Cool. Well, if you do, and I don't know, you, you know, you want to reflect it all on the process, you can feel free to, you know, can email me anytime. That's something that's like people who go through that are like family to me.

Lindsey
Awesome. Thank you so much. Yeah.

Adam Elenbaas
So, I think that the big transformation, the next huge step in this sort of similar process, like I feel, you know, my mother is in rehab, or my mother has hit rock bottom, or whatever the case might be. And I feel free because I think that that's coming as well. And I think that's going to be Pluto squaring the moon Saturn opposition in your chart, as it does. So. You know, it's going to be closing in on the midheaven in Aquarius on the sixth degree. So here's, I'll just draw it so you can see. So Pluto is going to come right up here onto the sixth degree. And that is the same degree that Saturn was hugging as your Father passed. (Oh, wow.) It'll reiterate some of the same process of growth and transformation that was happening throughout your father's passage as Saturn squared, these two planets will now Pluto is going to do them really focusing, I think mostly on your mom. And you know, hopefully, a transformation for her. I think that would be awesome. But also, to me, more importantly, a transformation for you.

Lindsey
Right, right. No, that makes a lot of sense. And it feels really good to, just hear that said because I definitely, you know, I've been having recently like even dreams about her. You know, I'm not saying she's specifically in a passed away or something. But just symbolically, I've been having dreams about her dying a lot recently and about, you know, just kind of her hitting rock bottom and things like that happening. And I wasn't aware of that transit coming up at all. So it is really, really, like, I guess, reassuring to, you know, to hear that. That's something that's happening, and if that makes sense.

Adam Elenbaas
Okay, this is you want to get kind of far out for a second. Like, I just was like, let's go, let's put on a tinfoil hat for it. Let's go way into the future. Okay, so do you have to ask this question first? Do you have like a desire to have kids some days that are that you do; if you're uncertain, you don't have to have an answer, but I'm just curious.

Lindsey
You know, it never was a desire when I was growing up like ever, but in the last few years, it's definitely become a desire of mine. Yeah.

Adam Elenbaas
Interesting. Yeah, I get this feeling if we look at where Jupiter is heading because here's the thing is that the natural contrary to Saturn, in a sense, is Jupiter. The other thing that was happening in the orb you could say of your father's passing was a Jupiter Saturn conjunction. What's interesting about Jupiter Saturn conjunctions is that it's a direct relationship between Zeus and Kronos, that you know, where we get that eating of children and regurgitating.

We also get the passage from the old Saturn to the young or to the new generation and Jupiter. So these very generationally defining turning points are associated with Jupiter Saturn conjunctions, that Jupiter Saturn conjunction was happening near the midheaven. Right around the time, you know, within a year, less than a year of your father passing, squaring the moon and Saturn in your chart, and so forth. I get the feeling that the continued passage of Jupiter is going to be really important to those moments where some of those repressed qualities will find, like youthfulness, joy, et cetera. Well, I just have to wonder if when Jupiter hits a few places, going down the road a little way if you're not going to end up having kids. So it's just a theory like, it's just let me show you what I think. So basically, I don't think it's soon. I think it would be a little ways down the line. There are two passages. Let me actually just pull them up. And I'll show you. I'm going to actually show you three. And that corresponds with some zodiacal releasing as well.

Lindsey
I mean, I've heard of it, but I have no idea even what it is really. No.

Adam Elenbaas
I'll show you. It's pretty fun. All right. So here's what we're going to do. We're going to advance Jupiter. I'm going to take Jupiter into cancer. Now Jupiter in Cancer would be kind of Young. I'm feeling like it's going to be a little bit later. But we'll just say, okay, Jupiter in 2025. I think you're my guess is too young. So but 2025 through about 2026 would be one zone where I'd be like, Hmm, maybe there are children. That's very fertile Jupiter in Cancer, squaring your son in the 12th house. And I think there could be. Also, that would be a time where I would even consider falling in love, for example, meeting someone that you become more emotionally bonded to, especially in the summer of 2025. It's right around that time; Jupiter in Cancer will trine the moon in your house of marriage. So I'll show you this. You can see it. See, see how they're both at one degree right there.

Adam Elenbaas
Okay. So that, that would be like, I've seen a lot of pregnancies with that type of transit over the years. That'd be pretty early that, like I said, like, you know, I feel like, might be more like post-Saturn Return. Here's another one, though, you go to the summer of 2026. Jupiter enters your fourth house of home and family right there and squares your moon in the seventh house of marriage. Saturn is also over the sun; all of these often will correspond with birthing or creating something that's very powerful. Now that could be like moving in with someone or maybe getting more serious with someone.

It could also coincide with, you know, buying property or having a child. Those are a little bit further down the line. And then go forward just a little bit more. You're gonna have Jupiter in Virgo in the pregnancy house in 2027. And that will actually coincide with Saturn, your Saturn Return in the first house. So that's around, you know, you're getting closer to 30 years old at that point. That would also be very interesting. Transit under which to get pregnant because Jupiter is actually in the pregnancy house, which tends to be more, you know, on the fertile side, Virgo sometimes a little bit, not like the greatest sign for pregnancy. But it's still like at the same time that you have a Saturn Return and given that you have a very watery moon. I wouldn't be shocked if 2028 coincided with that. Now my the one that's furthest out; I'll just add one more in.

So this one to Jupiter over the moon. This is 2029 Fine. Now at that point, you know, you're, you're 30, and you're almost finishing your Saturn Return. But Saturn still in the first house, which would be pretty common for, you know, big, physically defining moments in your life that are also coinciding with topics like family and marriage. So your body changing as you're pregnant, something like that. Anyway, the other reason, more generally, let me go back now to your birth chart alone; let me pull it up.

So between 2024 and five, you have a cancer period ruled by the moon. So you have a very fertile, watery Moon. I wouldn't be surprised again that was that coincides with some of the other transits of Jupiter I was mentioning, the zodiacal releasing period that could be focused on topics like marriage, home family, and children between March 2024 and November 2025. So that's kind of interesting. And then if we go through the next period, a little farther down the line from the standpoint Yeah, 2028 to 2030, which is using a slightly different technique, you hit a loosening of the bond and cancer that could also coincide with topics like marriage, family, and pregnancy, that's 28 to 30, during the Saturn Return period I was talking about,

Lindsey
Yeah, that would be a lot more of an ideal. I've always kind of envisioned being, you know, late 20s, early 30s, when I do eventually have kids, so that makes sense.

Adam Elenbaas
Well, and the reason I'm bringing it up as a possibility is because, you know, more times than I could possibly count when people have Moon Saturn opposition, a lot of the healing that comes when parents pass. It comes when there are big shifts in the marriage that you know, the family, there are divorces, or sometimes it's big moves that the family makes, but also when you have kids or when you get married, and you have the opportunity to in a sense, tell a new story, by the way, you do marriage and family. And Pluto's about to knock on the door of that moon, Saturn opposition. So one thought I had was like, Well, look, it might not be right away. But I just have this feeling that the way you do being a mom, maybe that's one really important and amazing way in which that or marriage, that you continue to open up some of what you feel is your power potential, etc. Of course, there's your own career. And some people, you know, don't want to be a mom. So I don't mean to place that on you.

Lindsey
I'm really glad that you brought that up because that's something that I have, like, kind of always said and thought about, you know, once I decided that, you know, having kids is something that I want because I didn't want kids my entire life, I think just because of my own kind of experiences with my mother growing up. And then I started working with kids a few years ago, and I realized, oh, okay, no, no, I want to be a mom; I love kids. And that's something that, like, I've always kind of felt is that you know, being a mother will be very, very, you know, healing to kind of my own, like mother wound in some way. And that's something that I've always kind of said and felt, so it feels really good to, you know, have someone else see that and say that good.

Adam Elenbaas
Well, you know, that's the last part; there is sort of just reckless speculation, you know, but, nonetheless gives you some fun things to think about. We're almost out of time. But I'm wondering if there are any last questions that you have that I could take a look at for you.

Lindsey
Um, honestly, nothing that I can really think of right now. I mean, I guess, you know, I'm a little bit curious about, you know, sort of like if there's anything happening coming up like that has to do with like career. But if that's too big of a can of worms to open up right now? No, not

Adam Elenbaas
No, not at all. Tell me. You might have mentioned this at some point, but what do you do for a living?

Lindsey
So I'm a personal assistant right now for a couple that owns a wedding chapel in downtown Las Vegas. But you know, ideally, I would like to be I'm going back to school. I want to get into some type of like counseling and psychology. Astrology definitely. I see it being a big part of my life as well. But yeah, as of right now, I'm a personal assistant.

Adam Elenbaas
Okay, um, I would say that Pluto going over Neptune in particular, which is Very 2025. That's like right around that time. First of all, you have Neptune conjoined the midheaven in your career house, right there. I don't know if you can see that I'm drawing again. So, Neptune at the midheaven, you have Uranus there as well and the south node, all of which, like, those planets tend to be interested in some pretty quirky stuff. You know, like, you know, Uranus and Neptune, for example, those conjunctions and squares and so forth are associated with like the invention of the Hubble Space Telescope.

So anything that's like probing, otherworldly imaginative, spiritual, mystical, inventive, Uranus and Neptune tend to really like that kind of thing, Pluto going over Neptune. You know, at worst, it might have you joining a cult. But at best, it could be very much like, you know, it's hitting your MC a place that's associated with your career; it's trying to include Neptune. And in the process, Pluto Neptune would be associated with major revenue, like transformations in the history of religion are associated with Pluto and Neptune. So you know, to me, would probably mark a change of direction in your career towards something that's more spiritual, or creative or something like that, or at least trying to incorporate more of that somehow, even if the careers still, I mean, it's like, everyone wants to be doing something that is creative, you know, that transit won't let you do something that doesn't incorporate Neptune into the career somehow.

Lindsey
Okay, that's okay. Awesome. That's really, really good to hear. Because I definitely, you know, I just like I just signed up for school again, you know, I kind of it all has just sort of started coming together, kind of how I want to incorporate all of the things that I'm interested in and passionate about. And so, yeah, that's really just what I wanted to know, is if down the line, you know, some sort of shift is going to happen, and I'm going to be able to sort of, you know, make what I'm passionate about more of what I do on a daily basis.

Adam Elenbaas
I think so. I would guess 2025 and six, right, as Pluto is, is hitting Neptune and hitting your midheaven that, that there'll be you're not, you probably won't be at the, you know, the wedding chapel.

Lindsey
Right. Right. Okay.

Adam Elenbaas
It'll be something different. Yeah. But though, because some of those transits are a little farther off, I always tell people that I work with my recommendation is once yearly; if you feel like working together, but anytime you want to check in and take a look at how the transits are going and, you know, new questions pop up or whatever. You know, just know that when you schedule on my website, it's about ten months to a year depending on the wait time, so when you schedule, it'll probably be like the, you know, the following year. And if you decide you're going to do that, I always tell my clients, you know, write me an email and keep me even just a little couple of paragraphs between now and the next time we meet so that I can keep up on what's been happening since we last talked. Well, Lindsey, thank you so much for being here today. And being our, you know, our guest client, and everyone, I'm sure, learned a lot from this. And I just had, it was just really, today was really fun. Like, this was a really fun reading.

Lindsey
Oh, awesome. Thank you so much. I'm so so happy I got to do this.

Adam Elenbaas
Yeah. We'll send you the recording. So you have a copy. And after you get it, if you listen back to it, if there are any questions or I don't know, something is percolating and you wish you would have asked or whatever, just email me.

Lindsey
Okay, awesome. Thank you so much. This was amazing. Really. Awesome.

Adam Elenbaas
Well, have a great rest of your day, Lindsey. Thanks for coming.

Lindsey
Thank you for having me.