Reading Your Questions: God, Favorite Transits and Steroids?

Hey everyone, this is Adam Elenbaas from Nightlight Astrology, and today I'm going to read your questions. I've been thinking about doing this for a while. But over the years, basically, I get, I don't know, dozens of questions every week through YouTube comments section, through the nightlight email address, sometimes through, you know, Instagram, and so forth, sometimes Facebook. It's gotten to a point where I get so many of them, but I honestly don't; sometimes, if it feels really important, I'll take the time to answer, but most of the time, between clients and creating content and classes and students and family and everything, I don't really have time to answer some really great questions that come through.

So I decided once in a while, I'm just going to throw up an episode where I literally just take five or maybe more questions from the audience that have come in, and especially those that I get repeats of because then that shows me that okay, there's, there's a number of people in the audience that have this question about me, or astrology or whatever.

A lot of these are, actually, in today's episode are, very personal. But I have a ton on a list that we're going to be going through, and so I just kind of grouped these together. The ones that I gathered today are ones that felt like they were more personal, and a lot of them come off from some of the changes that I've made in the past year, like leaving the religious tradition I was a part of and stuff like that. But anyway, I thought that these were great questions, they were fun, and that it would make for fun content to occasionally do a q&a episode. Well, anyway. So that's what we're going to do more on that a second.

Before we get into it, don't forget to like and subscribe. Share your comments and reflections in the comment section. Today, I'd love to hear from you guys. You can find a transcript of today's talk, as always, on the website nightlight astrology.com.

When you go over there, be sure to check out all of our readings and courses, and we are having a flash sale that will come through Monday the 14th through the 21st of August, where all of my online programs will be on sale for one week. Some of you, you could check that out and save a little bit of money on an upcoming course at one of my online programs. We have new ones starting in the fall and in the winter. So some of those programs are coming up; you might want to jump in and save well, you can. So any questions about anything you find on the website, by the way, email us at info@nightlightastrology.com, and that's what I wanted to share with you guys.

After listening to this today, if you have questions that you would like to include in a future q&a episode, you can always leave them in the comments section of this episode. You could also email them to us at info@nightlight astrology.com, and we'll just we have a little q&a folder that I keep around, so you know, I can't guarantee that I'll get to it; it really depends on the question.

What I like to do, as I said, is aggregate questions that people have that seem to reflect, you know, something that a number of people in the audience are curious about. So it could be astrological. It could be, you know, something personal though I ask that you obviously be discerning and respectful. But I thought these were these questions were, you know, legitimate, and most of the questions I get from people are so kind and warm and respectful. So I really do appreciate that.

Anyway, here are the questions that I got. I know some of you may, if you're new to my channel, you may not know that for a number of years, I went by Acyuta-bhava, which was an initiated name that I received through my participation in the bhakti yoga community that I was a part of.

In leaving that community, there have been a number of questions that have been coming up since then, and so I included a few of those that I thought, you know, I've seen enough of these questions being asked over and over again, that they seem important. So number one, do you still believe in God?

Part of my participation in the bhakti yoga community was a more overt expression in my content and in my everyday life of, you know, belief in and devotion to God. Now, that is a sort of, you know, in the bhakti yoga world, we're talking about, in my opinion, a very psychedelic depiction of God through Krishna and Radha and through many faces and names of God that are like a tapestry.

So it's very, the yogic tradition, and the way that it relates to God is, to my mind, very rich and magical, and so the answer to that question just very plainly is like, yeah, of course, I do. But I think that, you know, when you're part of a religious tradition that has very specific philosophies, doctrines and teachings and sacred texts and so forth, you'll end up adopting a very particular set of beliefs about God and about, you know, spiritual practices and so forth.

So I no longer feel attached to many of maybe most of the doctrines that I had encountered in that community. But, you know, I grew up a preacher's kid in a very liberal sort of Universalist household; my dad, you know, read Emerson and taught me how to play Led Zeppelin on on guitar and burned incense in our house and, you know, later in life my father's, you know, faith went through a radical transformation, some of that was very difficult for me.

But I never have let go of the idea of divine intelligence that permeates all things, a Divine Being, a personality for me; God is very personal; I think of God as a relational being meaning that I don't think of God as just abstract energy, although I think that you could think of one of the ways that we relate to God as energetic or as energy. But really, for me, God has always been a very personal presence that lives within and speaks to, is relational.

So to me, that God is deeply mysterious is both one and many; is both who we are and somehow apart from who we are, that there's a sense that I am not God, but also that I am absolutely, fundamentally connected to the body of divinity. There's, I think, just broadly speaking, I've always been someone who's been interested in what I would just call God-consciousness or how do we make this divine mystery a part of our everyday lives.

Some of those are going to be through, you know, the cultivation of virtues in our lives like patience, peace, forgiveness, you know, compassion, mercy, charity, you know, generosity, you know, looking at ourselves and trying to examine those parts that are, you know, perhaps selfish or afraid, or, or that are the parts of us that are unforgiving toward ourselves and others, etc.

So, there's other; there's another part that we're, you know, my relation to divinity is not tethered to any kind of moral paradigm. It's like that sometimes God is just the rushing intensity of the exploding now. I've always been someone who has approached different religious texts; I love Taoism, and as you guys know, I love hermeticism.

I've always loved reading about and taking in different cultural and historical relationships to divinity. That's how I perceive them that whether you're writing philosophically or, you know, you're reading about or, you know, watching someone in a different tradition, pray, you know, for me, it's been like, you know, all different ways of appreciating how people relate to this Divine Presence. So that's not changed for me.

I see astrology fundamentally as a way of drawing us into and closer to the divine mystery to God, especially as God lives in us and is, in some fundamental way, who we are. Right? So. So yes, it's very much still a part of my life; I would say that I'm not even against institutional religions or people who have very defined religious commitments. I'm not an anti-religion person, and I'm also not any longer seeing myself as a joiner, and that's okay.

There's a great book that I read, and I talked about it a lot last year called Religious but not Religious, living a symbolic life by Jason Smith; he's a Jungian, and he talks a lot in that book about how to hold religious practices and participation loosely. So that, you know, we're not, you know, it's kind of like, getting overly identified with things that I've recognized in myself has not been healthy.

Whether it's been an Ayahuasca community, or it's been, you know, the bhakti yoga world or the Christian world when I was younger, as soon as I say, This is who I am. Somehow I ended up feeling alienated from the divine presence that I was, at some point connecting to through that very tradition or set of rituals or philosophies or what have you. So it's, there's something about holding things somewhat loosely, you know, that's changed for me dramatically.

I've had to reflect and look at the way in which I experienced religion, you know, but that hasn't changed my deepest desire to be close to and devoted to what I experienced as the divine. So anyway, I hope that's, that helps a great question I got a number of times.

Number two, what are your beliefs now that you aren't part of your yoga community any longer? I would say, actually, I think I probably just answered that as well. The main thing that I would say my main belief is that reality is good and divine in some larger sense that also includes all of the shadowy complex and sometimes terrifying or painful elements of reality that I seek a life that is about reconciling myself to divinity, in all experience and all that is, which it's one thing to talk about, you know, intellectualism of the thing to go out and try to make sacred the pain and suffering and you know, mess of life.

To me that there's no work that's more rewarding. It's sort of like taking emotions and finding a way to, you know, sing the blues or taking difficult experiences and turning them into art. I see astrology primarily as a language that is here to help me continue making my life and experience sacred; it's the constant reminder that I'm walking on holy ground, you know, and the planets, our teachers, and guides are constantly pointing me back to the fact that this is not. This is not random; you know what I mean? Well, I don't even know if that's the right way of putting it.

But this is that you're living in a meaningful, mysterious universe that's inviting you in; that you're not sitting on the outside of somehow, you're a part of it, and beyond that, I think my main belief is that I'm here to experience divinity, through loving relationships, with people; with the subject, like astrology that I love, with wife and kids with family. I see reality as an opportunity for relationship and love and that sort of, in a basic way, like that's the point, it's to live and love, and to learn, I guess, as we do so, and that somehow is part of how we explore and how the divine mystery reveals itself in us.

Just the most profound pursuit I can think of, right, but I think it happens through relationships and through fostering loving connections and seeing reality as a matrix of living beings that are all seeking connection and love. I don't know. I mean, I wish I could articulate it more than that, but I'm pretty comfortable with that being enough for now, anyway.

What do you like most about making daily content? What do you like the least? That's a great question. This one's pretty simple. What do I like the most? It's a creative outlet for me. You know, I went to school, I did an MFA in creative nonfiction writing and studied memoir. So it's an opportunity to marry my love for storytelling alongside my love of spirituality; I love the way that stories and symbols in astrology come together to constantly pull us deeper into the divine mystery.

I feel like astrology is sacred. It's like a union of sacred storytellers, you know, people who are in love with seeing their lives living out through symbols, and that the universe speaks to us and wants a relationship with us through symbols, and that the only way of really capturing that is through the stories that we live and share and I think that's what brings people together in an astrological community.

It's like, let me look at my life through the lens of sacred stories and symbols and myths and metaphors, and I don't know, it makes me feel so alive, and I love it. So making daily content is just its own reward because I get to talk about these subjects with you guys and hear your stories which I love as well.

What do I like the least? It is hard. You know, inspiration comes and goes when you sit down every day to write or make content; some days, the inspiration is there, and you feel really like on fire, like, you know, the burning bush is there, and it's talking to you, and there are other days where you show up, and you know, that spirit doesn't appear to pour itself out on you, and those days or little stretches of time when you're a content creator, daily content creator can feel like wandering in the desert, you know.

But then, and so those periods are tough, and sometimes they last longer than others I've had, I feel like, when Saturn was in my 10th house a couple of years ago, there was a stretch of time where I just, you know, things felt dead for months. I mean, I think I made some good content in there, but I didn't, I wasn't feeling it, you know, and then it comes back.

So I love that I actually love that back and forth creatively of like showing up having a cup full and emptying it out creatively, and then sometimes you show up, and like, there's no moisture, you know, it's nothing. There's nothing coming through, and that part's really hard because you have to just show up anyway, and I believe that that is what makes the process so magical and special, is that some days are like that.

As listeners, I think that's what makes it special for subscribers and listeners too, is that you get to go through a process of being, you know, you get really connected to the creative ebb and flow of the channels that you listen to, and if it's daily or regular, you can tell when something new is coming through and it usually for astrology, it'll often align with, you know, waves of astrological transits that are coming through that are affecting you personally, and I think it's amazing how you can train yourself to a channel or a stream of content, like a content creator.

For me, I have, you know, like I would say, for example, I love following the work of Richard Tarnas, and when he's on about something, I'll often find that I'm on with him, you know, so I love taking that journey with people. But you know, the hardest part to me are the creative deserts where you're just your feet are burnt, your lips are chapped, there's no water. Like you just got to chop wood and carry water and keep going, and I think that some people might say, Well, why don't you just stop? You know, like, if it's not coming, why don't you stop?

But that's because the spirit, I think, tests you and gets you ready for new waves of inspiration by virtue of watching you show up and continue to make that sacrifice. I see it as a spiritual practice, not every day you meditate, or you're going to feel in the zone. But you show up anyway, and that's what I think I like the least, but also kind of the most. So I don't know, maybe that's a cheat answer. Anyway, thanks for that question. A bunch of you asked that, and I thought that was really good.

Now this one, this one, you know, I'm answering because I've gotten it so regularly, and it's been a little frustrating for me, to be honest with you. But also, you know, there's been a lot of people who have asked, I think, authentically wanting to know, like, Okay, since about a year ago, your body, your physique, and your voice have changed dramatically. How did that happen so fast?

Then a sub-question, which sometimes has actually been quite nasty, which would be the accusation that, like, oh, you must be taking steroids. So I actually address this because it was getting so bad at one point on Instagram that I made a series of videos where I talked about it. So some of you may have caught that there, and I've mentioned it here and there on social media, but I don't think I've ever addressed it in a YouTube video.

So I work out five days a week, and I was experiencing a variety of really intense symptoms in my body and went to see my doctor and decided to start taking testosterone replacement. Testosterone replacement therapy a lot of men are using nowadays, and women, too, actually, like a lot of people, are working with hormone replacement therapies. But at any rate, I found out that my testosterone, while not in the, I don't know what it's got hypogonadal range, whatever that is, but mine was at the very, very low end of the spectrum, and so I got on a therapeutic regimen of testosterone starting last fall, right as Mars was turning retrograde. Isn't that interesting?

Over the course of, I'd say, six or seven months of being on testosterone replacement therapy, you know, and continuing to work out five days a week. You know, I put on a lot of weight. I went probably 30 pounds of weight, most of which was muscle. I'm not all you know, it's like, some water and whatever, but I put on about 30 pounds, and part of being on testosterone replacement therapy is that your voice will sometimes change or like drop or register or whatever.

So mine did that. I was not expecting it. But I'll tell you more than that. The real reason that I decided to start the therapy were due to a variety of symptoms that I were experienced, that really had nothing to do with my voice or desire to have a deep voice or something like that, you know, sleep patterns, energy patterns, you know, libido, the issues around energy motivation, especially sleeping issues that I was having and I just couldn't, it was like, I just couldn't figure out exactly what was going on and so, yeah, I have a great doctor, and I think, a very open minded doctor, I would say, and my doctor, you know, we did some hormone testing and decided to try this, and I would say that it's one of the best things I've ever done for myself, health-wise.

It was really painful for me to watch a significant number of people, you know, on both YouTube and social media, saying all kinds of really terrible things about me, and I share this because I've gotten this question probably 100 times, you know, in the past year, how did you how did this physical transformation happen? Well, that's how it happened, and I just feel good sharing it on YouTube because I also feel like, in case there are men or women listening out there who could benefit from hormone replacement therapy for some people after you speak with your doctor and you look over things, you may find that it's really useful, and for me, it has done nothing but improve the quality of my psychological health and my physical health, I'm deeply thankful that this option was there for me, in addition to, you know, all of the things that I take, you know, for example, all the herbs that my wife has used to help me with all different kinds of things.

I'm someone who's not like, do everything naturally, or I'm someone who's, like, do everything according to, you know, allopathic medicine; I am someone who's just, I consider myself very open to what works and what helps us to be healthy and without damaging ourselves in the process, somehow. Anyway, so that's how the change that you've seen in me physically has taken place.

I would say that it was accompanied by the very deep sense that I had in leaving the religious tradition that I was a part of that it is okay to be in my body. Something that I adopted, I think, the religious tradition I was a part of sort of exacerbated this tendency in myself, but it was already there. Which is to think that being spiritual means that you don't, there was a way in which being spiritual in my life tended to neglect my physical form and practices of asceticism and renunciation, and they're very disciplined spiritual practices.

Over time, I tended to ignore my physical symptoms and tell myself, well, those are just things that will go away with more spiritual work, you know, that kind of thing, and what I'm finding is actually completely the opposite, which is that in taking care of my physical body, and really looking at the physical world that we live in as sacred and not something that needs to be transcended.

That the imminence of God, especially in the temple of my own body, has been a really important feature of my own spiritual work over the last year, and that one of the biggest ways that happened was through real addressing of some physical and mental, emotional health issues and I would say that the testosterone replacement therapy has been, you know, one of the best things I've ever done for myself, honestly, it's not for everyone.

I'm not trying to evangelize it or proselytize about it or anything, but you guys asked so many times, and I love you guys. I don't want to, you know, it's like, if there's something that's working for me, that's special, that's been helpful for health and wholeness. I'm not about to, you know; I don't feel like I have to hide it.

But, you know, like, I would say that one of the things that I liked least about podcasting, and creating content, if I could go back to that question just for a minute, is that you often have people weighing in on you personally, because they see you every day or they hear you every day, and so they think, oh, you know, you don't look so good, and I feel like I just need to be the one to tell you you don't look good or you don't feel right, or you're something must be off with you, or you should drink this herb, or you should take this thing.

I would say if I had to put it like, aside from like dry spells and content creation, my least favorite part of podcasting is that sometimes people have very poor boundaries in terms of what they think it's okay to say to you as a person that you know me on screen, but it's like, people don't really know me, you know and, and so, you know, I think this one for me is kind of nice to address just because it's also about addressing a subcategory of very trolling, poor boundaries people who have speculated and accused and been pretty rude to me about the physical changes that have happened that they've observed. Anyway.

So number five is this one's kind of fun. What is the best transit you've ever experienced? I would say, honestly, my favorite would be the Uranus to Venus transit that I've recently experienced. But this is recency bias, I guess. I just love it because it's like, I feel like I've told you guys this like ten times already, but this transit, I had no idea what to expect from it. Because since I've been an astrologer like I haven't had a Uranus-Venus square, you know, so it was like, I don't know what to expect.

I would say that the most fantastic part about this has been like that, that that that connection that my wife and I had before our kids were born, that you don't stop loving each other when you have kids. I know you guys that have kids know what I'm talking about. But the bond between you and a partner really changes once kids are in the picture, and Uranus-Venus came along and was like plugging us back in together into our connection prior to the kids, and a lot of that had to do with our morning spiritual practices, which we used to do together, and an evening amount of time that we had together.

Our kids are now at the age where the way that they sleep and their rhythms and their needs are such that those practices have come back, and that was so unexpected because you almost forget that part of yourself because you get so into the groove of parenting in a very particular way and my wife and I have always had date nights, we've always been connected.

You know, our connection has always been pretty strong. But it felt like, in a way, it just felt like the intensity of our connection that couldn't be as much of a focus because of children suddenly came roaring back, and it was like, Oh, my God, this is so nice to feel like we're getting our relationship back in the center a little bit more again.

So it's funny because then you have the impulse. As soon as that happens, I don't know if you guys know this impulse, assuming you get your earlier like, you know, you come back together on the same page, you know, and the impulse is like, what should we build next? We built some children. It's funny.

Anyway, I would say Venus-Uranus, that's my favorite recently; I've really really enjoyed this transit also because of the way it's been awakening within me the creative impulse. That impulse has been gone for a while also because of kids and parenting. I create every day, but I'm talking about a deeper creative impulse that was there when I wrote my book that was there when I was, you know, younger and loved to write and play my guitar all the time. There's been like the light bulb of creativity, love romantic connection with Ashley like, those things have been turned on so bright, and I've been like, Oh, this is awesome.

So you know, so far, so good. I've really enjoyed Venus-Uranus, but I still have a couple more passes to go. So we'll see. You never know. I'll let you know on the other side. I don't know; I guess other transits I've enjoyed. Pluto on my moon was one of the most difficult transits, but I think one of the most healing, so that was a good one. I mean, that was a deep heavy one. But, like, Whoa, was that very cleansing? Very healing. Yeah, I don't know. Those are some recent ones that come to mind.

Thank you, guys, for these questions. I hope you enjoyed listening to this q&a episode. I thought it'd be fun kind of shake things up. Do things a little bit differently. You ever have any questions you want to throw my way about? New future episodes where we cover astrology? Always, you know, like frequently asked astrology questions, email any questions you have for future episodes to info@nightlightastrology.com. I'd love to hear from you guys.

Thank you to all of you who have also, by the way, been so supportive, like the vast majority of people, and comments and questions are so sweet. So affirming, so supportive, so well boundaried, so respectful. I really do appreciate you guys. Alright, that's it for today. Take it easy, everyone. Bye.