The Impact of Venus Square Uranus on Our Relationships

Hey everyone, this is Adam Elenbaas from Nightlight Astrology, and today we're going to talk about Venus's upcoming square to Uranus. So Venus is transiting through the sign of Aquarius, as most of you know, and is making a square to Uranus in Taurus over the weekend. We're going to talk about this transit today. And we're going to talk about the different kinds of relationship dynamics that often constellated around a Venus Uranus Square or sometimes other hard aspects like an opposition or even a conjunction.

I'm going to use some observations from my life as a parent and draw some analogies. I think they're applicable to anyone, whether you have kids or not. But I hope you'll find them useful. We're gonna talk about six different stages or dynamics of the parent-child relationship and how each one of them correlate to a different quality of Venus and Uranus. I had fun writing this talk this morning. So I hope that you guys will enjoy it.

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Okay, well, first, I want to show you the real time clock so that you can see the dynamic we're talking about. As always, I think it's helpful to just get a feel for the timing. So here we go. So as we sit here on Thursday, we're just about two degrees away. So you can see Venus squaring Uranus here within about two degrees. Well, let's watch how this perfects. So if we go forward, you're gonna see that Friday, January 13. Venus is now within a little over one degree away. And then Saturday, it's coming in and exact, and then Sunday separating. So this will be over by Monday. But you got a nice long transit really from Thursday, all the way now through Sunday, Monday. So that's the transit.

Now one of the interesting things about this is that we were debating at the end of January talking about Venus' wild month of January, whether or not Venus was considered to be in a malefic enclosure; a malefic enclosure would mean that, for example, you can see Mars, casting its array behind Venus at eight degrees. And Saturn is sitting in front of Venus at 23 degrees, which effectively is like saying, Look, Venus, you're stuck between the ray of Mars and the body of Saturn, and there's no planet intervening, meaning another planet that's sending its race somewhere in between. What I find interesting is that an intervention of the moon could count, and an intervention potentially from Uranus could count, and we have both of those right around the time of this transit. So watch, this is Friday, January 13, you're going to see that the moon is going to make a trine to Venus, and that's Friday evening, January 13. And then, the next day, Venus is going through the square with Uranus.

So if Venus has been having a hard time, wherever that may land in your chart, think of all things related to Venus, love relationships, women, sisters, beauty, desire, attraction, sensuality, harmony, etc. If Venus has been on the rocks, you know, then could we see a turn for the better or some kind of release from those challenging conditions as Venus hits the square to Uranus and as the trine from the Moon in Libra comes through, that would be Friday into Saturday, a dramatic turn of events for things related to Venus. So that's interesting. All of that is interesting to consider. We'll keep our eyes out for that.

In the meantime, what I want to do today is talk to you about six different Venus Uranus relationship dynamics, and I'm going to use a parenting analogy to make the point. Follow me because all of this can be applied to your life whether you have kids or not. So this could be applied to love relationships, work relationships, friendships, this could be in, you know, marriage or someone you're dating. This could be related to a circle of friends or community, or a group. So anyway, here are the stages of parent-child dynamics that I've mapped out. I'm not an expert on, you know, parenting or anything, and don't quote me, you know, as an expert. But these six stages, to me, are very natural. Some of them I'm experiencing as a parent, and some of them I've experienced, as you know, the child of my own parents.

So, I think that these stages are also not sequential; I'm going to present them sequentially as though it's a linear story. But I don't think that it means any of these stages could appear or reappear at different times in our lives. So let's call them six, rather than stages, let's call them six seasons. And let's keep in mind that any of these seasons, although I'm going to present them in a linear manner, could play out at different times and repeat at different times. It's not like you're graduating from one stage to another; I don't want to present it like it's too linear. Okay.

So number one, you know, when you're a baby, when you're really young, you want to be as close to your parents as possible. That could be, you know, your mother or your, like a primary caregiver. But the early stage of life is like my kids; if they could be with me, hugging me, playing with me, doing stuff together, you know, sleeping in my bed, it would be they would do it 24/7, you know, and I remember that when I was a kid, too.

I remember loving on a Friday night, you know before I started doing sleepovers and doing my own thing; I remember it was the best thing in the world to spend time with my mom. And my dad was often working with my dad too, you know, I love spending time with them. So we all know what it's like to want to be as close to other people as possible. You could say this is true of any kind of relationship, not just to speak of parents.

Now, if I move it through another stage, the second one would be that, you know, you get a little bit older, and then it's like, you want to be as far away as possible and not as strong because I hated my parents. But it was a combination of rebellion and needing to do my own thing that emerged in my teenage years. And my parents were like, Hey, do you want to rent a movie on a Friday night? Maybe sometimes, but a lot of the time, we'd be like, No, I'd rather go be with my friends. And generally speaking, my parents became a little bit more uncool, like I didn't actively hate them. And I know some people probably have lots of reason to, and maybe you wanted to be far away from your parents even earlier. And so I might be, I'm not trying to present a timeline that's like, oh, everyone goes through this, you know, because some people have really messed up, you know, parents that they want to be far away from as early as you know, really young. So just follow this as a kind of archetypal timeline, you know what I mean?

Then at a certain point, you might want to be as far away as possible from your family or your parents. As you get a little bit older, you then go through a stage where you want to maybe gain their approval or recognition.

So, for example, you know, I remember wanting them to know that I was doing well in school, I'd gotten a job, you know, that I could afford a car payment, that I paid off a credit card bill, or, you know, just that sense of like, look at me, I'm becoming an adult, approve, give me some approval or recognition. And, there's, again, I don't think these are all separate, they could bleed over into each other, but they're specific kinds of relationship dynamics. Recognize me, you know. Do you see that I'm standing out? You see that I'm doing a good job is there encouragement and recognition because I'm individuating? So that's, that's an important stage. And it's like an important role that that the parents and children have with each other. And again, assuming everything is healthy, you know what I mean? Like, obviously, some people never experience this.

Number four would be, you know, I feel like an adult. And now, I'd like to have a more adult relationship with my parent. And I remember, you know, this probably happened to me more so from around the time that I published my book and got married, and, like, started my own business and like, I started having kids, you know, relationships with your parents become a little bit more about equality, right? It's like; it's not like there, there always be your parent. But there's a way in which you're both you're kind of relating as adults. You're a little bit more shoulder-to-shoulder, you know what I mean? And there's a need for that. There's a desire to have that experience. Now, again, some people never have that because some people's parents will never validate them, or they're not worth wanting to have a relationship or whatever.

So, again, just continue to think of these as archetypal because they play a role in all sorts of relationships. Uh, you know, can't you say that there are times where people that have been like a big brother or a mentor or a guide, and then the relationship shifts, and you become more of equal, you become equals somehow. Okay, so there's that.

Then there's number five, which is the child becomes the parent, you know, often as parents are aging, you end up the role reverses, and you end up having to take care of them, they put you in diapers, you know, maybe you're putting them in diapers at a certain age, because they need help, or they need nursing, they need a nursing home, and you have to help facilitate that, or whatever, I hear stories from my clients year round about their parents needing care, right, and how hard that can be, and how challenging that role reversal can be. And, you know, caring for like a sick or dying parent, you know, something like this, again, these are not linear; they can happen to a 17 year old might have to become the parent of an adult who needs some kind of help or isn't competent, or is sick, or, you know.

Number six, the child needs to let go of the parent, and that could be a lot of different things like sometimes that might mean death. You know, that could mean, or that also could mean, that you just need to do your own thing or be your own person. And like, almost like, not, not reject, like your parent, but just be like, oh, you know, You're your own person. And I'm my own person. And there are times where I need distance or space, almost like the teenage years all over again. But I think of this specifically as, like, the time when sometimes, like, your parents might become a burden. Or they might it might be that you feel like you need space from them. And maybe even again, more like critically, like you have to let go of them somehow.

Anyway, I was jotting down these different stages and reflecting on them after having a conversation with my wife and then with a friend about the different kinds of dynamics that exist in my relationship with God or source, whatever word you may use. And I was noticing how these stages are, in some ways, similar to a parent-child dynamic.

So, for example, I'm going to go back up and explain to you like in my faith life, in my prayer life, in my meditation life, whether I'm connecting with God or an avatar, like, you know, Krishna or Jesus or, you know, a god, or whether it's the one or a higher self, whatever that higher power is that I'm connecting with in prayer and meditation in my life, where I have Ayahuasca ceremonies anytime, right?

There are stages there, too; for example, sometimes it feels like I just want to be as close as I possibly can to that inner higher self. And it feels, you know, very much like like a child clinging to its parent, very tender bonded, don't let me go, you know, I want to be close to you kind of thing that I experienced that it doesn't not all the time. But it's an archetypal stage that I returned to in my relating, and it's very inspired and inspiring. It feels very electric and connected and sort of ecstatic. It could be conceptualized as a mother holding a child, like God's holding me, or maybe I'm holding God like a child, or maybe it's more like making love that but it's close. And it's fused. And it's let's be as close as possible. It's very intense, kind of ecstatic bondedness.

Number two want to be as far away as possible. I feel like there are stages in my relationship with, you know, source or God's higher power. Where it is as though I'm like, I just don't want to have anything to do with you. It's not that I don't believe you exist or that I'm going to completely. I'm not going to, like, maybe I continue to have spiritual practices in my life. But it's almost like, I need space, you know, like, like, I need to be doing something that's almost like, let's just call it what it is. There are periods of like rebellion and, like, just kind of leave me alone.

And I've come to recognize that these periods, you know, sure, they can be destructive, they could be really destructive. But I think for a lot of people, they're actually they can also be very healthy, healthy periods of saying, I believe in you, I love you. I know you're there, but I also need space. You know, I need to do my own thing, and people can really really struggle with feeling like it's okay; you need space from the Divine from that source within, like you're committing some terrible sin if you just need space. And the truth is that while, you know like I'm reflecting on my own path anyway, in some of those spaces, it feels like I'm polarized or sort of battling with God somehow. Still, I would say that there's a sense that this is a stage. And it's important somehow that I'd be going through it, that it's sacred and even blessed, you know.

So, number three, want to gain approval recognition; I recognize this also in my relationship with God in my prayer life, that there will be times where I'm just like, Hey, am I doing a good job? Am I on the right path? Or do you, you know, are you giving me things as signs of approval or recognition or, like, wanting God to be like, you're good, you know, you're doing a good job. And that there's a whole way of relating to God that has to do with a feeling of needing approval or recognition. Sometimes that's healthy, sometimes it's not, but it's a stage, it's a phase, it's someplace I'd seem to go back to, and I'm sure some of you guys do, too.

Number four, I want to have an adult relationship. I don't want to be the person that's always talking to God, like, Hey, can you help me out, you know, I'm in a pickle, you know, or I need something, or I want something, or something's broken, or something's negative, or heal me or fix me or, ah, you know, I want to have a relationship where it's like, I sit with God. And like, we just look out at the world together, we look in at experience together, there's a sense of being friends with God, or like, equals maybe not quite the right word, but something like that, not identical, right, but there's like, the God in me recognizes the God and you, Jehovah, you know, you know?

Oh, and so that's the stage number five, the child becomes the parent. Now, this one's really interesting. It feels like sometimes, let's just call it, my higher self is aching or hurting. And there's some; maybe it's because I haven't spent enough time with it. And I think, of course, people are going to that sacrilegious. God doesn't hurt. You know, God doesn't need anything. God isn't needy; God is completely self sufficient; God is not lacking a thing. It's like, that doesn't really sound like a person. You know, that sounds like a state, not a being. And my own opinion on this ticket believe it is that God sometimes needs us, just like we need God. And that there's a way in which when I'm needed by God, I have the ability to act in a way that is, it's a like a role reversal.

It's like taking care of an aging parent. And, but it's funny because I may notice that, for example, it doesn't have to be literally connected to parenting. But in my case, for example, I sometimes find that there will just be an aspect of my heart that needs care or tending to, then it's like, God is giving me the ability to step out of being like, Well, little one, you're down here and I the almighty him up here, you know, it's like, God willingly takes off that role and goes into a position of need to give me the experience of being able to serve something divine and to feel what it's like to be in the role of a provider, rather than someone who's just like, you know, a little peon always needing something, I don't know if that makes if you can understand that. But that is something that has been a sacred thing in my own spiritual life.

Number six is the child needs to let go of the parent. Now, again, I
would call this a stage and not a destination. It's not like once you've let go of your parent, and then you're evolved. But there are stages, like, sometimes I was saying like as an adult, you need to just have your own life and let go of wanting to be close or far, gaining approval or having a kind of equal relationship. Sometimes you're not a child or a parent, you're just a person, and a parent is just a person. And there's a need to have some kind of separate existence. I think that one is most complicated for us because I think most, at least the Christian programming in the West, teaches us that the need to be an individual apart from and distinct from the Divine is sacrilegious or is somehow, you know, transgressive. And I don't think that's the case. I think that I don't know one relationship I can think of, whether it's with my dog or my kids, or my wife or my parents or my sister or my friends, where you don't need periods of time to feel like you exist apart from that other.

And it's, I think God allows us to have those experiences, periods where I say, I don't know who I am, I don't know where I'm going, I don't know what I believe, I don't know what is true when it comes to God, or when it comes to divinity, or, you know, the big picture. And that's okay; I'm just gonna do me. And I'm not; I'm just not going to be having my identity wrapped up in what is this thing or being or truth or, you know, I'm just going to do me. And then it's like because we do that. Eventually, that stage is over. And we find ourselves wanting to be as close as possible again. But now we've now we want to be as close as possible from the standpoint of someone who's, like, integrated the experience, and we've given some sacred room for questions and doubts and insecurities. And isn't it better to bring those things into a relationship? Rather than saying, Well, I can only have the relationship once I have banished those things for good because those things somehow tarnish the relationship.

It's kind of like there's an atheist weighing in every psyche. And it's almost as though sometimes, you know, God needs us to be fully ourselves, including that part of us that is not a believer, or that's an agnostic or something like that. And that it's a paradox, right? But it's like unless we've integrated that part of ourselves and given room for it and said, It's okay that it's there. It's as though there's we're not going to be capable of experiencing divinity as fully right.

So that, to me, is like a very challenging stage to just say, okay, you know, again, for me, the way I experienced is not so much in terms of, like, whether God exists or not; it's almost a bit more like I was saying earlier, like, Okay, God, you're here, Higher Self, you're here, and I just have to go to me stuff for a while because the relationship is overwhelming me. Do you know? So I think that's normal. I think that's actually really healthy somehow. So I just want to say that, you know, in case anyone else feels that way, but there are Venus Uranus correlates.

Although I'm talking about parenting, and then I'm relating it to like my inner life with the Divine or what have you, these correlate to the Venus Uranus dynamic; I hope will be helpful and that you have a way of framing them that is, both philosophically and practically useful.

So Venus Uranus's takeaways, one is that Venus Uranus is associated with intoxication. I want to be as close to you as possible. What does Venus Uranus have to do with that? Venus? Uranus is the, for example, the ecstasy of, you know, chemical combustion in romance; it's fast, it's electric, it's hot, it's ecstatic. I want to be as close to you as possible. I'm, I'm filled with love and a kind of electric intensity. You know, I think about kids when they're close to their parents; I wouldn't necessarily describe it as Venus Uranus, maybe more like Moon Neptune or something kind of milky, you know. But when I think about how much excitement and joy and exuberance my kids have when they want to be with me, or after an Ayahuasca ceremony, the way I felt about divinity and spirituality and the walking a Sacred Path, it's very Venus, Uranus in the sense that you are, you're just gobsmacked with beauty and enthusiasm. And so the wanting to be as close as possible is very similar to the Venus Uranus dynamic of enactment and intoxication. Kind of electric; it's like being electrocuted and intoxicated at once.

Number two is freedom. Like I was giving the analogy of being like a teenager, I just want to rebel against divinity, or I need to rebel against my parents. Well, Venus Uranus is associated with wanting to rebel from the things that we are bonded to get me out of here, you know, like, let me do my own thing. It's a Venus Uranus dynamic. And it's a natural part of how all relationships work. There are periods of time in love when you need to be intoxicated, and there are periods of time in relationships where you need to seek out that freedom.

Similarly, how about standing out or individuating? I want to gain the approval or recognition of God. I want to do something special and stand out. I want to be seen as unique. It's a very, that's a thing that we do. And we often do that, you know, I don't care what my parents want, how they want me to dress, or if they want me to go to church, I'm going to stand out, I'm going to individuate. Or we might say, I want to stand out and individuate because I want their approval, but standing out or individuating, to be seen as your most beautiful, authentic self, and to sort of flip up the plumage, you know, that's a Venus Uranus dynamic.

How about equality? Going back to I want to have an adult relationship. It's like; sometimes I want to be like, Look, God, I'm not petitioning you to, like, get something or with my parents, like, I don't want to have like a parent-child dynamic. I just want to be like adults together. This applies to all different kinds of relationships. For example, how many times in a relationship are you with someone and they're giving you advice, and you're like, Thanks for the advice, but I just want to be, I just want you to listen, or something like that. You want to have a sense of equality? Well, Venus Uranus is associated with equality. With egalitarianism.

Number five is role reversals. So I say, like, you know, the child becomes the parent. And there are times when it feels like the higher self is in need of us, not that it's, it's not just a linear thing where we're in need of the higher self, or similarly that a parent is only ever serving our needs, that there are stages in life where the roles reverse and role reversals in relationships or a Venus Uranus dynamic.

Finally, separations, the child needs to let go of the parent, or at times, it's like I just need to exist apart from any question of higher self-right is talking about that how complicated that can be Venus, Uranus, sometimes is all about separations to saying I need to be alone, I need to go it alone, I need to divorce or separate, or I need to do something apart from what I've been bonded to, goes back to the similarity of being free or rebelling. But this one is usually more about being apart than it is about standing out. So anyway, I hope that these are useful and that this whole talk has been like, for me, what was cool in doing this was just in recognizing that any of these stages are, it's like we're always moving in and out of them.

Sometimes there are two of them present at the same time. And not just in, you know, in love relationships with parents at work. There's, we, you know, even like, like, I would recognize this with certain teachers or mentors that have gone through stages like this, like, you take someone, I've taken years and years and years of people's classes that I've loved. And then there's a time where I'm like, Okay, I can't listen to anything they, you know, they say or do or teach, you know, I just need to do my own thing for a while. And then later on, I come back and study more with them; you know, all of these dynamics are natural and sacred. And the flip, flipping, or shifting of these dynamics in dramatic ways, according to these different themes and stages, would be very normal for Venus Uranus this week, this weekend. I hope that'll give you something to help you watch for and notice the archetype as it manifests over the weekend.

That is what I have for you today. Don't forget Roots and Spheres and Readings and Passages. Our two latest courses start this week and next, so be sure to check those out on the website nightlightastrology.com, and there is need-based tuition if you need it, so email us with any questions at info@nightlightastrology.com. All right, take it easy, guys. We'll see you tomorrow. Bye.