What if the plot twists and confusion in your life were not obstacles, but an invitation from a deeper wisdom? What if your soul was calling you into a sophomore-level class in understanding your own nature?
This episode explores Jupiter’s retrograde in Cancer, a significant shift that asks us to move beyond the initial lessons we began learning back in June. We’ll journey through the timeline of this cycle and offer horoscopes for all 12 signs, focusing on the whole-sign house where this retrograde activates your chart. This isn't about quick fixes or manifesting; it's about the slow, sometimes challenging, but always meaningful work of deepening our character and aligning with our dharma—the essential truth of who we are and what we are here to do.
"A retrograde period of Jupiter often coincides with a point where we've understood something conceptually, and now it's time to take it two or three levels deeper, to embody it. Sometimes that happens by undoing things we know or have become overly confident in. Sometimes delays, misunderstandings, and testing of our faith have to occur so that our understanding of who we are and what is real can continue evolving. This is the guru not giving us a new lesson, but asking us to live the one we've already been taught."
In this talk, we’ll map out Jupiter’s journey from its entry into Cancer until it turns direct next March, reflecting on how this "professor of the cosmos" is guiding each of us into a more profound encounter with our own story.
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Transcript
Hey everyone. This is Adam Elenbaas from Nightlight Astrology [https://nightlightastrology.com/].
Today, we are going to do horoscopes for Jupiter turning retrograde in the sign of cancer. I'm going to be taking Jupiter through all 12 whole sign houses. You can listen to this for your sun or rising sign and get a feel for where Jupiter is turning direct within your birth chart. What house topics are going to be activated.
And we're going to review the timeline of Jupiter in Cancer, from Jupiter's ingress in June up until now, which is Jupiter's first retrograde in the sign of cancer. Sort of review that timeline, give you some overall ideas about how to think about the retrograde period and map out how long Jupiter will be retrograde. And then I'll focus on the house topics through horoscopes. That's our agenda for today.
I think it's a really good time to be doing this as the Grand Water Trine are also coming through. Jupiter is one of the leading planets in those Grand Water Trine. And so the wisdom Jupiter is starting to impart to us now during its retrograde is really at the forefront of these Grand Water Trine.
So anyway, before we get into it, remember to like and subscribe, turn on the notification bell for updates, share your comments and reflections as we go. Hype us. Transcripts of any of these daily talks can be found on the website, which is Nightlight astrology.com when you are over there, our main promotion for the day is our year one program starts this weekend.
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Come join us, and we'd really love to have you there. We've been offering accessible pricing points in our programs for 16 years, and that's something that we're really, really proud of every day I've been saying one thing about what I think makes this school worth, worth studying. And I'm going to talk about this right here, Dharma, when it comes to understanding ourselves, ancient Indian astrologers who there are some real parallels in the ancient roots of Hellenistic astrology and Indian astrology.
So this is something we look at a little bit in our programs. To understand the truth of your own nature, you have to also study the truth of the nature of reality. And the study of astrology was one of many different branches of mysticism and spiritual science, so to speak, that would, by the very nature of studying truth in the more cosmic sense, lead to understanding your own truth.
I deeply believe that that is what makes astrology so unique, is that when you study it, you get in touch with who you are, not just by understanding your birth chart, but by understanding more about the sacred, about this numinous, mystical cosmos that we live in. So on that note, I hope you'll come study with us. Check out the informational video at the end of today's talk for more.
Okay. On that note, let's turn our attention to the real time clock, and here we go. So I'm going to move this forward just a little bit, but first, I want to show you. It was around Tuesday of this week, and we've been talking about this Jupiter retrograde in connection with the Mercury Retrograde this week, but Jupiter stationed around Tuesday, turned retrograde by Wednesday.
So today we're really sort of in day one within about 2448 hours of Jupiter turning retrograde. So it's a really good time to be focusing on the meaning of this retrograde in our birth charts. First, what I want to do is map out the Synodic Cycle. I talked a little bit about the Synodic Cycle earlier this week, but I want to reiterate some of what I've already said, in case you're just joining us, and to also have it in one place, as we're reflecting on this, and then we're going to reflect on the retrograde phase within the Synodic Cycle in particular.
So let's go back in time, first of all, to the entrance of Jupiter into. Cancer which took place in June. So we can see this is early June, June 5, and I'm sorry, June 9 that Jupiter enters cancer. And we have had Jupiter in direct motion since entering the sign of cancer. So you can start to trace the development of Jupiter as a guide, a teacher in our lives during this season of life, from about June of 2025 to right now, the retrograde moment that direct motion is like level one.
You know, freshman in college kind of class to use, like a learning analogy, and we're about ready to head into sophomore and junior classes. You could say, as the retrograde occurs, it's a deepening of what started in June. There's been a process unfolding in June, and we're reaching a critical turning point within that process now the conjunction between the sun and Jupiter, which is the start of a Jupiter, Jupiter's Synodic Cycle that also happened in June.
So right as Jupiter entered cancer, the sun conjoined cancer. That was right about the summer solstice in the northern hemisphere. But that zero cancer marker was, it was pretty close to it had just entered cancer, and then the sun conjoints. So the Synodic Cycle of Jupiter, as well as the ingress of Jupiter into cancer, happened at the same time.
This really means that we can trace out the development of the Jupiter and cancer storyline in our lives from the time of June, not just because it Ingress, but because the Synodic Cycle reset. So that's our starting point. Now the starting point is going to be also specific to the whole sign house of cancer in your birth chart, and that's what we're going to be unpacking in today's horoscopes, with some thoughts about what this process might look like given the house location.
But if we take this forward, the sun will move faster than Jupiter, so the two separate, and when they get to about a Trine, which is happening right now, about the middle of November, we now see that the sun coming into the trine with Jupiter happens as Jupiter stations and turns retrograde.
Now, I said earlier this week that one way of thinking about the Synodic Cycle is to think about the sun giving infusing Jupiter with a set of instructions, evolutionary intentions, forms of psychological, spiritual personal development, developments in your career, developments in your love life, developments in all sorts of areas. And broadly speaking, the Jupiter cycle is about wisdom.
Jupiter is a planet that was deeply associated with religion, with law, with truth, with philosophy. Jupiter is called guru in Indian astrology, and is associated with professors and sages in Western astrology. And so one simple way of conceptualizing what Jupiter is doing as it works through a whole sign house in our chart or through a Synodic Cycle. But both is that it is imparting lessons to us.
It becomes our teacher, our guide, our guru, specifically in the process of our UN of our understanding and its unfolding. So by understanding, we mean an understanding of dharma. Dharma is another philosophical concept associated with Jupiter in ancient Indian astrology. So Dharma is what is the nature of something, and the dharma of you as a person is, what is your nature, and getting in touch with that is a huge part of our spiritual path in life, right?
I mean, how many of us, as we're describing the role that astrology plays in our life? We describe it as something that helps us understand more about who we are, and then we might say something like, and why I'm here, because if you know who you are, you get a clear sense of what you're meant to do. And that's dharma. Fire, for example, is hot and light, which means to describe it as describe its essence.
Fire is heat and light is also to describe what it does. It gives off heat and light. So to understand your dharma personally means to understand not just who you are, but what, what naturally happens through the being of who you are in this lifetime, like you're a little spark of fire. So you give off heat and light. You're, you know, you're a little Julie or Susanna, so you're gonna give off little Julie Susanna vibes.
So the point being that in our lives, Jupiter is the teacher that helps us through progressive understanding of our own nature to be. Our own nature and to do what is in our own nature, but it happens through understand. You know, when something clicks, when you're in therapy, or you have a healing experience and you go, Oh, I understand more about what's real and true.
That's in me. I know more about myself. That's Jupiter. That's the guru. The Guru is supposed to help us understand our dharma. What is essential about me, then as a child of God, right? But then also Jupiter is constantly imparting that higher, ninth house sense of dharma, which is what is true or real, what is the essential nature of God, of gods or goddesses, of reality, of divinity, of the sacred, of the cosmos.
So Jupiter is acting on two levels. It's helping us progressively understand what is true and real about reality itself. It is the guru, the professor, the sage, that progresses our conscious understanding, and it is simultaneously helping us understand who am I? The synodic cycles are so important to track along these lines, the seeding point of this cycle has been in cancer, in the whole sign house of cancer.
So the moment of Jupiter's retrograde is now going to take place in cancer, and the full retrograde will take place in cancer. And as that retrograde continues, we'll track out more of the creative tension, the moments of creative tension within the Synodic Cycle. For example, the opposition with the sun and Jupiter will be a point of interest for us. I think it's in January.
So anyway, we'll be, we'll be continuing to track the Synodic Cycle. But broadly speaking, the retrograde takes our understanding deeper. It's sort of like you can see my guitar in the background. I've been taking in some online guitar courses recently, which, if you saw, had my guitar near my altar recently, kind of offering that up and trying to connect my love of music to my spiritual life.
And as you progress in playing an instrument. This is my experience. Anyway, you reach points of understanding where you can do something and you understand something, and you've practiced it, and so you it just becomes like natural and second nature to you. But then all of a sudden, to learn a new skill, you often have to go back and take initial things that you learned and go much deeper with them.
The same thing is true in astrology. You start off by understanding planets, signs, houses, and then all of a sudden you have to understand aspects, which means you have to start combining planets where you want to understand essential and accidental dignity. So you have to start combining planets and signs, planets and houses, aspects, planets, signs and houses, right? So a retrograde period of Jupiter for me, in my experience, is often coincides with I've understood something, and now it's time to take it two or three levels deeper, much deeper.
And sometimes that happens by sort of undoing things we know or have become overly confident in. Sometimes that occurs because we're going to there's going to be plot twists that suddenly evolve our understanding in ways that conventional forward progress cannot. Sometimes delays, misunderstandings, obstacles, hardships, confusion, uncertainty, testing of our faith or metal has to occur so that our understanding of who we are and what is real can continue evolving.
Those are quite common experiences during a Jupiter, retrograde, oh, suddenly I'm being challenged by life, by twists and turns of circumstance that make me have to seriously reflect on what I think I am or what I know. That's not uncommon again for a retrograde period of Jupiter, but also just integrating things that have been learned going from conceptual to embodied, common for a Jupiter retrograde.
So these are different ways of thinking about the retrograde period. Now let's review how long this retrograde period is going to last and kind of what comes next. So here you can see the retrograde starting this week, and then the natural development of that retrograde occurs, and we're going to see this very important moment, which we will be probably covering.
I'm sure on the channel in early January, we can see that the sun and Jupiter will be opposite, and this is often a moment of great karmic blossoming in the midst of the retrograde process. It's like the full moon of the Synodic Cycle. All right. Well, that's going to continue from there, so we'll come back to that study that later, one very important part of the retrograde.
And then we're going to see when the sun goes into Pisces in late February, that as the two planets go through their Trine, Jupiter is going to slow down station just after the Trine passes. This is around March 10, and then we're going to see it turn direct. So we have from November to about March. Was that four months? So for about four months, we're in retrograde mode.
The wisdom is going to deepen, sometimes through those twists and turns of plot and circumstance, the feeling of confusion, the testing of faith, the inward turning, the integrating all things that happened during again, the retrograde. So after Jupiter turns direct, then Jupiter is very gradually going to move forward. And this is like the senior level thesis, as Jupiter then goes through the final decan of cancer, completes its journey in the sign of cancer.
And in July, we're then going to see the sun come into Leo, and the new Synodic Cycle begins pretty early into Jupiter's day in Leo. So same thing. Then the whole Synodic Cycle will begin a new, you know, like we're a whole new curriculum and a whole new Department of the University of life begins, you know, Leo University. So that's what's in front of us.
What I want to do now. I want to I'm going to get this geared up here. Just adjust my view of things here, so it's a little bit more simple. And we're going to, we're going to look at these whole sign houses, and I'm going to give you some things to think about given the whole sign house location, you could listen to this for your son, or rising sign always suggest the rising because it corresponds with that whole sign house version of your birth chart, which we use as Hellenistic astrologers.
So that's my jam. All right. So if you are an Aries, this retrograde period, let me just speed this up so we get to the retrograde. Here we can see it. Now. If you're in Aries, the retrograde of Jupiter is taking place in your fourth house. So you want to ask yourself, what have I been learning about myself and about reality with respect to the topical domain of home, family, parents, my ancestors, my cultural heritage, maybe the religious values of the family you grew up in, or the emotional experience of your home life, the well being of your inner private life.
Do you take care of yourself? Do Are you in touch with the more private dimension of your of your psyche? So this inward space of the fourth house, the roots of the chart, the home of the chart, the resting place, the base of the chart. This is the place that the wisdom. This is, this is where the professor is taking you deeper now, all right, let's go to Taurus.
If you are a Taurus, this third house could bring up a lot of wisdom and learning around your neighborhood or your in your immediate everyday environment, family, siblings, people that are closely constellated around your your roots or your home or your family of origin. That's all the third house, one dimension of the third house, but another dimension that I have in mind, I've been reflecting on this a lot because I'm a Taoist, rising is that this house is associated with psychology, with emotional impulses, with the intellect, with speech and communication, and with the urge or desire for happiness that comes through the cultivation of our mind, our speech, our intellect, our communication.
This is a comma house in Indian astrology means it's associated with how we pursue and experience happiness or pleasure emotionally. But in this house, what this house is really saying is that there's a way in which we have to find pleasure in our own mind, in our own emotional reality, and so growing and developing mentally, verbally, emotionally, intellectually, that could happen through developing skills, or through writing or podcasting or anything that gives you a stronger, clearer sense of your self worth, and creates within you a feeling of well being.
I'm doing well in life because I'm reading things I like. I'm learning things I love. I'm learning to speak or communicate or articulate myself. I'm honoring my emotional impulses. I'm acknowledging the things that make my mind different or unique. So where is the wisdom happening there? I reflect on the fact that right now I'm in a process as Jupiter's turning retrograde of revising my book, and that revision of the book.
Book is there's a lot of learning and development there. It's also the about the satisfaction of communicating or articulating something creative about myself. So there's a lot here that has to do with mental and emotional development. For Tauruses, for Geminis, we're asking the question, What has the sage been teaching you about money? What has the guru been asking you to consider when it comes to how you spend your time, your money, your energy or your resources?
What do you want to acquire, and what does it reflect about your your values and your your nature, what we have is often an extension of what we think is going to make us happy, and if we reflect deeply upon that, we may find that it's time to have a metaphorical garage sale, because some of the things that we want or have that we thought would make us happy don't make us Happy, and so we start wanting to acquire different things, tangible or intangible things, emotional things or physical things.
It's about money. It's about finances. It's about business. It might there may be some connection to things like family and business or family and money. So what have you been cultivating, growing, developing, harvesting around material things? What about the topic of material security and emotional security? How do they speak to one another in your life? For Cancer, this is all about self development.
This is the guru and the sage saying, Get to know your inner depths. Get to know your emotions. Step into the wisdom of your body. Step into the wisdom of the Divine Feminine that lives within you, man or woman, however one may identify, what is the great goddess have right now for you as a teaching, as a wisdom about who you are, about what makes you happy, about what makes you unique.
This is the sage helping you understand your dharma. This is the core Dharma house that has to do with that question of, What am I? Who am I? Body? And health, appearance, physique, sometimes becoming a mother is a part of this house, changes or shifts in identity that are being influenced or woven together by the great goddess. Those are the kinds of things I'm looking for with Jupiter and cancer in the first house, maybe the connection between identity, evolution of your identity, and your upbringing, or your family, your parenting that you experienced, or even development or evolution of yourself as a parent, part of your own identity.
All right, we go to Leo next Jupiter's in the 12th house. And here, I wonder, what is being this is a Moksha house, which means there's, there is so much here about this house that has to do with surrender, with letting go, or liberation. Moksha is like enlightenment. Liberation in one way. That might mean, you know, the pinnacle of Moksha in Indian philosophy might be never reincarnating again, because you achieve liberation from the material plane.
But whatever the case might be, I wonder, what kind of how is moksha, the process of liberation, the process of gradually becoming lighter or developing your light body, let's call it. How is that connected to things like home and family, ancestry, the past, your parents, family dynamics, living environment, whatever connects you to a feeling of family or village or tribe or community, even emotionally, what are you what is the wisdom of your family, ancestors, parents, what are they?
What have they passed on to you, what needs to be surrendered or let go of? What are you healing from your family of origin? These are, I think, really deep questions for the and also the question of how to nurture or nourish yourself, especially if there are afflictions of mind or body that are coming from not taking good enough care of yourself. That would be something that Jupiter and cancer in the 12th might be here to help you with.
For Virgos, we see Jupiter in the 11th house, the place of community, friends, allies. I wonder here how this great goddess, the sort of bosom of the cosmos, is showing up and providing nourishment through key allies or collaboration. Conversations through groups or networks of people that you're building or developing or that you're connecting with or working with. How are what? Who are the right people to call friends?
Who are, who are your sole family members? What kinds of beneficial resources or people are have come into your life since Jupiter enter cancer last June? How are some of those connections deepening in the wisdom they're meant to provide you with in life right now? What pains or hurts are being healed around friends, community or social engagements? I for Librans, Jupiter is in cancer in your 10th house.
And I wonder what the guru, what the sage, has been doing to teach you about the role in the world that you're meant to play in this lifetime. What is your career? You might call it, what's your vocation? But also with Jupiter in Cancer, I think it's about a about, how can I serve? How can I be a part of making the world a beautiful, blessed, sacred place?
How can I be part of what contributes to the awakening of all living beings, that contributes to the alleviation of the suffering of all living beings? That's like high kind of Bodhisattva type of stuff, but that can come all the way down to a simple level of, how do I show up at a job I don't love, and bring some light into it, maybe it shows up in the way of, how do I find a job that that feeds my soul a little bit better.
Sometimes Jupiter in the 10th will reflect processes of growth and development professionally that might just be more mundane. Opportunities often come when Jupiter is in the 10th house. Greater success, responsibility, growth of your business, or growth of your role or status, growth of your again, your responsibilities somehow. So all of that might be taking place as well, but this may represent a kind of turning point in a process of development that's been taking place in your career that dates back to last June.
All right, for Scorpio, we're looking at jupiter in the ninth house, that place of higher Dharma, what is real in the biggest, broadest, most sacred sense. And so what role is spiritual practice, spiritual learning? Where are the literal maybe gurus in your life right now? Where are the teachers of astrology, of philosophy, of spirituality, of mysticism? Where's that meditation or yoga teacher that is important in your life right now?
Or where is that practice, that learning, that study? Where are you growing deliberately because of spiritual practice, religious commitment or devotion on any level, study, learning, this is a place that literally wants you to grow in your philosophical understanding of reality, your commitments of faith and your practices of spirit, and the guru or sage right now can really grow your wisdom and understanding, and that Growth spiritually, intellectually, by next summer may convey, or it may travel right into the career, because the next place Jupiter goes for you is into your career house pilgrimages, holy, sacred pilgrimage.
That's another topic that comes to my mind. For Scorpios, for Sagittarians, Jupiter's in the eighth house. One amazing blessing or benefit of Jupiter in the eighth is the sole contracts with other people that the eighth house represent. Could be a source of tremendous benefit gain blessing Jupiter in the eighth and cancer is a bit like, you know, getting a nice inheritance or maybe something difficult happens, but there's a life insurance policy when someone passes.
So I wonder what blessings or benefits are coming through your relationships and soul contracts with other people. I also wonder about, almost like an exploration, the guru, the sage, is there in that eighth house saying, here are the life giving soul contracts where real reciprocity is taking place. And here are those that are draining you or that are unequal. Watch out for those.
So Jupiter and cancer can also be about the process of gradually liberating ourselves from unhealthy codependencies, especially those that on one level, we feel like there's no way I could survive without it. You might have to, or you might have to learn how to, and so forever avoiding it because it's cushy. You know that that may get you, that may make things actually much more difficult in time.
So it's funny, because Jupiter in this house can provide a lot, but it can also provide a lot of good reasons to stay. Stuck in something that needs to be let go of all right? Well, Capricorn places Jupiter into the seventh house. So the wisdom of the guru in the sage is taking place in the house of marriage, love a comma house related to pleasure, pleasure with other beings.
How do you find happiness in your relationships. How has that been a story since June? Who are the right people? What are the right things to do? How do you spend your time? How do you connect? How do you grow or develop intimacy? What what is real pleasure or connection? What is emotional safety, security and harmony look like in relationships? What's the intersection between things like faith, marriage and family?
These are really important topics that you're about ready to go two, three levels deeper on during this next four months of retrogradation. So for Aquarians, Jupiter is in the sixth house. I love this placement for a service mindset, for healing the sick, for being generous, for charitable work, for anything fueled by compassion and care for those who are suffering, also for learning how to improve your health if you are suffering, learning how to feel lighter if you feel heavy.
The process of Jupiter in the six is not always easy, but it's lesson over time might be. Here's how to feel lighter, healthier, happier. Here's what you here are the practices of self care, devotion, commitment. Here's what the chopping of wood and carrying of water looks like. That will that will make you feel happier, that will make you feel better overall, that will lead to good results.
Here's where the well is. You got to go draw water from. It's a little bit of work, but now you know where the well is. That's the kind of work that Jupiter likes to do in the sixth house, in general, but especially in cancer. I think the other thing would be, where is there a growing process of wisdom through adversity or hardship, or through things that take a lot of work, effort and sacrifice, that you're devoting yourself to, that will yield benefits but require a long period of work or sacrifice?
This could be a very rapid period for a year of learning and growth, but a lot of hard work that goes into it. Finally, Pisces, Jupiter's, in your fifth house. This is the place of our creative Dharma, which means learning about not just what my essence is, but how to create, how to be a creator, from that place, and it ideally should bring joy or happiness and connection to other beings.
This is a house that is called good fortune, and was associated in Indian astrology with our good karma. Some of our good karma is thought to be a part of this house. So Jupiter here might be bringing that forth for you as a Pisces may connect you to things like children, pregnancy and the topic of parenting, the wisdom of children, home and family being important somehow, but also a very fertile placement for any kind of creative work in life, and a really meaningful period right now, this retrogradation, to ask yourself, What takes me really deep into a feeling of creative well being, happiness, emotional connection to my heart and soul because of how I am creating things in life.
Now, creating things doesn't have to be it doesn't have to be an album, it doesn't have to be a book. It's just, what do I do with my time and energy that feels creative in its expression? That might happen with friends. It might happen with lovers. It might happen with kids. It might happen with family. It's more about how you feel. Do I feel creatively alive and fulfilled?
Is there a sense of happiness coming because things are coming out of me that feel new and fresh and interesting, new ideas for how to live, new ideas for what to do or how to work or how to coexist or do things with the people I love. You know what it's like when you're in a creative flow? Because you just it feels like new ideas for even simple areas of life are flowing forth all the time.
You're looking for that right now as a Pisces, it's time to get in touch with that at a much deeper level, or to start integrating things you've been learning about this since June. All right, that is what I have for you. I hope that, as always, this has been useful. And at the end here, I want to remind you that we have a I have a talk coming up this evening, if you want to attend it on Venus.
So I'm going to take you over the website really quickly. Show you that before I sign off, you go up to the top of the website page here. Go to events. Click on live talks. You'll see pairing the planets Venus's many faces. We're. We're going to pair Venus with every other planet and talk about the significations we're going to do so from the perspective of understanding Venus as an archive, which means a first philosophical principle in ancient cosmology, we're really getting down to what Venus is as a structuring principle of reality that's very powerful when you understand planets at that level and then learn to pair them with other planets at that level.
For many people, it creates a real breakthrough in the way that you relate to the planets in general, but also in this case, specifically Venus. So you can register on the website. You get the recording if you can't attend the webinar live this evening, but I hope to see you guys there. And don't forget, after I sign off right now, there's an informational video.
Come study with us. We still have room left in the program. You can use that need based tuition option, if it makes it more feasible for you, that is just fine. And we hope to see some of you there. I'm really excited about this program, and we'll see you everyone, by the way, we'll see you all again tomorrow. Bye.





Jupiter is loud right now, retrograde in my second house, all over my self worth
Mercury and Venus are in my sixth house and the self sabotage does not end. I give up on my day before it starts. I wake up at 5:30am, see dishes and mayhem, remember that I’m a joke, and do nothing until 10am except get my kid to daycare. I send brittle emails that are overly courteous or casual – every communication feels painstaking and dangerous, like I might be found out. I refuse to prepare for interviews until it’s too late. I’m letting my skills decay because I cannot be bothered, my brain is already broken, who am I kidding. The work that I’m claiming I can do, that I enjoyed doing and did well, is now traumatizing for me to look at.
I look for your work daily. I have something called anendophasia and your rich archetypal representation of aspects is so useful to me – it gives narrative form to unexpressed thoughts and tensions, and it allows me to reflect on the events of my life in a way that isn’t an indictment.
I’m also drowning and maybe I shouldn’t be here every day, looking for jelly donuts to keep me afloat, cherry-picking aspects from a canon of work. I have to save myself at some point. But I find myself here every day. I hope my soul has a plan