Pluto Creating Astrological Purgatory

Hey everyone. This is Adam Elenbaas from Nightlight Astrology [https://nightlightastrology.com/].

Happy Friday, everyone! Today we're going to take a look at Pluto turning direct once more, and I'm going to share with you some of the interesting symbolic connections between Pluto and Purgatory. Now, Purgatory is like a kind of Christian doctrine about this sort of liminal space of purification, but we're going to talk about it symbolically today. I'm going to share with you a dream that I had that was really wild, that actually kind of inspired this talk, and I think a take on Pluto that right now may hit, but also may be helpful if you're the kind of person who loves to learn more about astrology in general.

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You can meditate with us every single day for free in the mornings. It's a lovely community. I hope to see you there. Been really, really nice getting to know many of you over a little while now. Gosh, we've been doing it for almost a year. Okay, well, let's put Nicchepso up on the stage. Let's start talking about purgatory, please. So, so here we are, Friday, october 16, and we've been exploring this Pluto station to turn direct here for a while. There's something that came up for me in a dream. I need to tell you guys a little. I need to share, I should say, a little personal story to make this to to have this make sense, right?

So that's what I'm going to do first, and then I'm going to take you into the astrological correlations and the reason for this talk. So be a little patient with me as I meander here, but let's let's get into it. So, we, as you guys know, right now we're in the midst of moving, and I I'm almost like ashamed or like embarrassed to admit that it's been causing me so much stress because I'm fortunate enough to have a roof over my head and to be able to afford a house at all, right? So I want to preface this by just saying, like, I'm not tone deaf. You know, I I understand how relative this stressor in my life is.

I know some of you out there are going through so much worse, but stress is relative, I guess. And I suppose the biggest stressor in my life right now is moving. And what makes it difficult is you've got one house, and then but you got to sell your own house. So everything's up in the air because for one sale to go through, the other one has to go through, and we're in this phase of waiting. Every day, I I sit and I wait for a notification to arrive that says that you've got a house showing. You know what I mean, and and I've been sort of driving myself crazy, and I committed the cardinal sin of divination.

It's so embarrassing to admit because I literally teach this year round to people, and I can't under a I'd say probably a fairly normal stressor compared to what some people deal with. I just broke. I crumbled under the pressure, and I did what I tell everyone not to do, which is to flood the oracle with too many questions every day. I'm like, will we get an offer today, or not an offer? Like, will we get a showing today? You know, something like that. And I just started dealing with like, like low grade anxiety, like all the time. Like it just it started maybe a week into the process, I started feeling anxious, and then it just it just wouldn't go away.

And the only thing that I was doing to try to alleviate it was like to draw a taro card, or to cast the I Ching, or to look at a horary, or to look at the astrology. And something in me started feeling repulsed by my own behavior. It's the worst when you just don't like yourself for a minute, you know, like, oh, what am I doing? I tell people all the time, like, ask and then wait, ask, listen, receive your reading, and then and then wait patiently. Don't flood the oracle. You'll confuse yourself. You'll get overwhelmed, and you'll start creating this kind of weird liminal world that you're in, where you are using an oracle all the time, but never waiting long enough to see the results and being able to build trust in its voice, and it's just not a great place to be in.

And there is where I found myself recently. Okay, so I I was at the gym, which is a good place for me to burn off stress, especially you know, just lifting some heavy things and then going on the elliptical. So I was on the elliptical, and I was gonna have a meltdown. I was just like, okay, I the last thing I need to do right now is be like a grown ass man in a tank top crying on the elliptical. But but I'm reaching a pressure point where, like, the tears are just coming. You know what I mean? Like, I'm I'm so stressed out about. I think it's the cancer in me too. I'm like, it's my home. I can't.

And I'm living like the weird thing about living in this house, right? Is that it's staged. So like, all of our stuff is in storage, and we're living in like a Barbie house or something. It's so dumb. I feel so. I feel like oh, I just feel so disgusting about all of it, and yet it's not like living in a real place. It doesn't the the heart and soul of your home, at least my it doesn't feel like it's there anymore. It's ah, it's fucked up. Anyway, so I'm like on the elliptical, and I'm just reaching this point where I'm like I can't wait another day and day and day, and you know the the dates of like having to figure it all out are sort of looming, and I'm I'm like Jesus like this is crazy.

But first of all, like why did we ever create? I start like I start getting getting really existential. I'm like, why did we ever do any of this? What is humanity? You know, I'm like, so there I am, and I I managed to prevent myself from crying in the gym, like a total doofus. And the reason that I was able to do it is that I put on some Gregorian chanting. It actually popped up. I you know my feed I get different things based on my searches. Well, I search a lot of mystical shit? So, so I was like, well, okay, I've got some Gregorian chanting.

So I put the Gregorian chanting on while I was on the elliptical, and I started feeling like you know, I don't know, like our heavenly Father was pouring stardust over my head in the form of like vocal water, you know, just pouring over me, and I was like, ah, this feels so good, and I started praying, which is like it's just my Christian background. Like I see the universe as a beautiful being that I can talk to, and so that's part of my paradigm. And so I'm just like I'm just like talking to God, you know, and I'm and I'm going and I'm like you know I just don't like this waiting. I don't like this waiting, and I.

It was really funny because earlier in the summer there was a moment where I was having a breakdown on the elliptical. So embarrassing to admit, I was having another kind of like really hard moment on the elliptical, and I got a really and I was praying, and at that time, I think I was listening to like Lo-Fi or something. But anyway, prefer the Gregorian chanting. I was praying during the summer, and I got this message that said, "Stop checking, stop checking. And I had to sit there with it. It was just like a voice in me that said, "Stop checking. And I, I, I feel that often. As the presence of the Holy Spirit, God, whatever, and so I was like, "Oh, that feels like an instruction to help me alleviate my suffering.

Something I was going through this summer, so stop checking. So I realized that the instruction had to do with social media, and I ended up getting off Instagram because of the amount of time I was spending scrolling and the kind of stress it was creating in my in my brain, I so and I'm and I'm not talking about consuming interesting content. I'm talking about mindlessness, right? And so I just realized it was time to get off Instagram and let my social media manager do it, kind of manage it creatively from more of a distance, so I didn't waste so much time and create so much stress for myself. So that's the background. Then I hear this voice on the elliptical now saying the same exact thing as I'm praying and the the monks are chanting to stop checking.

And I was like, Oh right, divination. Now I'm someone who teaches divination. I do divination. I see astrology as a form of divination, and everything that I am, everything that I'm doing to try to alleviate the stress has to do with checking. It's like the divinatory version of scrolling. Let's check the cards. Let's check the stars. You know, let's check the I Ching. And I was just doing it too much, and I realized that the action is very similar in the brain to what it was doing for me for for scrolling. So that this is this is all backdrop to a story, and I think some really interesting points we'll get to here. So bear with me.

So I said, okay, I'm not gonna all until this process is over. I made a little commitment to God. I was like, "Dear universe, I am not going to ask any more. I've done some good divinations about this. They've been positive and supportive. I'm going to trust those, and I'm not going to do this to myself until the process is over. The cards are in the bag. So that's the background. Then that happened recently. Then I've been dealing with the same anxiety, but having to use different tools. Right, having to sit with it, having to be with it, having to be with the pain of waiting.

And then I had a dream. So I had a dream last night, and this was just the icing on the cake. So in the dream, I was sitting with someone under a sort of like a grove of trees in like ancient Athens, and this is someone that I know who's in the Nightlight community. So it was really interesting that like someone in the Nightlight community would show up and be like part of this dream. Anyway, in the dream, we're sitting under this grove of trees, and they said, "You know, purgatory is real. It's just not what people think it is. And I was like, "Huh, and it felt like, you know, like it felt like I was sitting with Plato or something.

You know, it's like it was like a wise sage who was like the face of a Nightlight person, but it was really, it was really funny. So they said purgatory is real. It's just not what you think it is, and this is all while Pluto stationing, right? And and stationing on my south node, posing my north node in the fourth house, home, family, and property. So I'm like, okay, this is this is an astrology dream, and I I often become lucid during astrology dreams because something in me sort of sits up and goes, "Ooh, are you going to teach me some astrology? You know, I get so excited. Let's learn some astrology, please. Show me something.

So, so they proceeded to just say that that that like this is you're you're in purgatory right now. Purgatory is real, but it's not what people think it is. I said, "Huh. Okay. So, so that was my dream, and so what I did was I I sat down. I started mapping out some really interesting features of purgatory, and interestingly, the relationship to the word "purge, as well, which is a very, very Plutonian word. So, the first thing that I found about purgatory that I thought was really interesting. This is a really off-the-cuff talk today, so I hope you're anyway. So, purgatory, interesting Christian doctrine that's developed over time, arguable as to whether or not it has any roots in any biblical texts, right?

But people sometimes try to make some connections. It's an interesting Christian doctrine. I don't know if the Catholic Church still embraces the reality of it or not. I really don't know. But one of the things that I found that was really fascinating was that one-it was a church father, a theologian, or something-was describing purgatory as after the soul dies, it sees the face of God, the most perfect, beautiful, joyous, blissful. Entity realizes I am of that same nature. This is my true nature. This is my maker. This is who I am, right? And is faced with that ultimate fulfillment, and then is turned away from it.

And in being turned away from it is then placed in a kind of liminal space where it has to live with being apart from that beauty, and in that apartness, it comes to realize every single illusion, deception, vanity, you know, lust, greed, like all of the things that kept the soul from seeing that reality. Now, as I understand it, purgatory is a place of like within the heaven hell scheme, and I'm not literal about any of this stuff. But within the heaven hell scheme is a place that's that's really meant for the purification of the soul before it joins God, so you get to see God. Oh my God, so beautiful!

And then you are turned away temporarily from God, and the sense of being separate from that perfect thing, and also the reflections on the elements of impurity that kept you in your life from being connected to that source become really evident to you alongside of the longing for the most perfect thing that you are and that ever was that you just saw but are now separate from. Now on the out on like on the surface that sounds like terrible, right? It sounds like the most miserable thing, and then you're made to wait. You're made to wait in this space until the waiting, the longing, and the the depth of sort of remorse, penance, and so forth, and the the longing for God builds in you a level of sincerity and devotion and commitment that wasn't there before, and then God turns its base back to you, and you join God.

Now, in the dream, remember that this individual said to me, "Purgatory is real, just not what you think. And I thought about that a lot, and I was thinking about this in terms of my very embarrassing my situation with my house. Right, so I was taking this because this is the thing: is that I could feel the connection to this dream, purgatory, and the feeling of waiting that I've been dealing with, and the anxiety I've been feeling about it, and it's not normal for me to feel the amount of anxiety I have been. So that's why I'm, I'm, I'm like I'll take anything, a dream about purgatory. Like, what can I find in there? And so then, I started thinking about it, and I started thinking about what is it that's making me feel anxious right now, right?

And we're gonna draw this back to Saturn and Pluto in a minute. What is it that's making me feel so anxious? It's not the idea that oh, I really want this house and I really need this house to sell. You know, it's it's not about things. I mean, on the surface, if someone were to ask you why are you anxious, I would be like, well, because this house has to sell and that one we're buying and blah blah blah and living in a staged house and, but it's not that; it's a feeling, right? It's a feeling of being grounded, safe, stable. My little my little Taurus rising soul is like, I need rhythms, you know. Well, it's the lack of rhythm.

It's the lack of what I would call normalcy-a sense that you can rest and relax, that your nervous system can be regulated, and that you can feel like you're held by the flow of life. And that's connected to me. That's in me. That is connected to being in a settled physical home, but that's the feeling, and if I understand that feeling in this world, that feeling is temporary, right? I I'm wise enough to know that anyone can be displaced. There are refugees all over the planet. There are people without homes. There are people who are are are destitute or you know, cast out, or people who marginalize.

I know very well that I'm not entitled to that feeling, but I also know that that feeling, however it exists in this material world, is really what all living beings want, and that feeling is a let's call it a temporal, worldly, fleeting image of spiritual home. All of us desire, I think, to rest in eternity, to be forever peaceful, to be forever blissful, to be forever content. Whatever word we use, there is something in all of us that wants to be ultimately, finally resting in peace, in love, in all of the good things, and whatever small glimpses of that I have in my life are for me strongly connected to just feeling safe and stable in an everyday way, in an everyday physical environment.

I'm a pretty rhythmic person. I I do the same things over and over every day. Um, and so I was able to recognize this is what the waiting is for, for me right now. In my, you know, I don't know, my little world whose concerns are again pretty minor compared to the concerns of the bigger world in in many ways. In my world, I know what the face of God looks like in the temporary, fleeting space of a peaceful, grounded sense of of home and stability. I not not perfect, but I know I have like a relative understanding of what that is, and when that's taken away, right? When that isn't there, when it doesn't feel like that's there. I am made to wait, right?

And the waiting helps me understand that what I'm actually seeking is a feeling, not a house. Does that does that make sense? And that feeling of groundedness is something I can actually work on getting back to right now. And this is why on the treadmill, the treadmill God said stop checking. Because what I was doing in the divinatory checking all the time is looking for an oracle to tell me you're going to get a house, you'll get an offer, you'll be able to move. This will all happen. You'll get back to that grounded stability. Stop checking. Why? Because you're not letting the purgatory do its work. What is purgatory doing? It's purging us, cleansing.

You know the etymology of the word purge, the Latin root purgare. I think that's how you say it, to cleanse or purify, and. and to to the pure part of the purgare is pure, and the gare part is to drive. To so it's it's weird because purgatory is this place that drives us into a feeling of being disconnected from something that we're waiting to feel connected to again, and ultimately that is the source. That's divinity, and I see this all the time in my client practice. Right, it could be that you're lonely and you long for a relationship. It could be that you're in between jobs and you long for some stability.

It could be like you're in between houses or you're looking for a place to live, or land, or you're looking for a place to call home in the sense of community, or you're looking for your own family, or you're looking for a sense of purpose, feeling disconnected from those things. In this world, the anxiety we have about them is the anxiety that we all have to not be turned away from divinity, to not be turned away from the most beautiful connected feelings that we can possibly have, and yet one of the great lessons of Pluto, over and over and over again, is that any time we're in that waiting space and that holding space, there is an opportunity for us to be completely clear about what it is that we actually need and actually desire, and those are feelings; those are states of consciousness primarily.

And so, every time we're made to wait for something that's really hard to wait for. I think that there's something in the waiting. There's something in the waiting. I'm thinking of Tom Petty. That's the hardest part. And the the reason for that is because we know we we we've seen enough of what makes us feel good, loved, abundant, happy. We we know it well enough to know we don't have it right now. We also know well enough that there's nothing we can can can do to control or force. Pluto can be obsessive in its desire to control or force, but what that is ultimately doing is sort of breaking us down, getting us back to a space where we have to surrender and wait.

Waiting for Pluto is like waiting for the source of what is life-giving, rather than trying to force it, control it, or create it through you know power, and so. So, so in this way, it's interesting to me because the the idea of purgatory is is really something, at least in one sense, that is about the the process of differentiating material things that we feel we we desire but we don't have, and being able to differentiate them from feeling states and states of consciousness that we have more ability to create in ourselves than we think we do. So during this process, you know, since my little elliptical breakdown, when the anxiety comes up, I've been doing things that I know are healthier for me, and I'm really proud of myself because a couple days ago, man, I was so spun out I couldn't do it, you know, and I was just just spinning out.

So now I'm sitting down to meditate. I'm taking walks. I'm having meaningful conversations. I'm reading things, and I'm sitting and saying, I know that I'm I have home here, right here, and I know that there is such a thing as a physical home, and this is a physical stressor. Like all of this is real, but I also know that it's highlighting for me, and it's very humbling that I am so utterly dependent on material things. I think I have some kind of enlightened consciousness, but it's resting on a physical house. You know what I mean. And as soon as that's taken away, look at me. I'm not much. You know.

So yeah, it's it's it's humbling. So here's some thoughts that I have sharing that personal story. I hope it's useful for you. It's not. It's pretty typical for me that I would. To me, that this is coming up around a Pluto station makes a lot of sense, because movement of any kind, even like like if if we were to find out like you're not going to be able to move, this isn't going to happen. Well, that movement gives me direction. It gives me feedback. It gives me something to do, even if it's difficult, and I would probably prefer that, you know, because then I'm like solving a problem and I'm moving somewhere, and then the resolution is something I feel more or less in control of.

Waiting leaves me with desire, fewer fear, and less ways of sort of releasing those things, a planetary station is like motion slowing, and then the symbolism feels concentrated. So, yeah, I think the other thing is that there's this one of the things that is is pretty Christian is to pray for people who are in purgatory. But as I understand that right now, what what it really brings to my mind is to pray for all the people in the world who are waiting for something far far more important than what I'm dealing with. Then I okay now I really start to feel the burden in my chest, like lifting.

Right, like, dear universe, help all of those without any homes. Help all of those without any friends. Help all of those people that don't have family, that don't have a place to rest their head, that don't have a job. Help all of those people who are marginalized and picked on, and don't have as much of a feeling of safety in the world, right? I can start. Oh my gosh! I can just start digging in, and I know I'm not alone in this waiting. I'm not alone in this knowing the feeling I want, but not being close to it, and having to wait somehow for the worldly circumstances to change so that it comes back because I am so weak that I can't generate that feeling entirely on my own.

And you know what? For as much as I love the empowerment doctrine of you've got this and it's all in you, which is true, but we're dependent beings, and this is what this is keeps us humble. Keeps me humble to go through something like this. I'm like, oh yeah, I've got I've meditation. I'm self sufficient. Yeah, sitting in a in a house with enough money to pay for it, you are, right? But those circumstances aren't guaranteed. You're not entitled to them. I'm not anyway. That's what I'm saying. So the we can. You're in a state like this. You realize how utterly dependent you are. At least that's how I'm feeling.

And you go, "Okay, I'm a dependent being. I don't got this, you know. And let me pray for all of the people out there right now whose total, utter dependency or helplessness is so much more than mine. You know, these these are the depths that I think the planets are inviting us into, but we don't go there if all we do is spend time being like, "What's going to happen this week? or "What what does it mean? What topics are being activated in my chart? So I like to. In this direction now and then, if I can do so in a way that feels interesting and meaningful, hopefully we've done that. But Pluto speaks to buried attachments, compulsion, power, loss.

What exists beneath the outcome? Beneath the outcome, beneath the surface, for many of us, is that. the ground I stand on? That I think somehow I've created is that's Pluto's support beneath me, and the extent to which I am not aware of all that supports me is the extent to which I'm not aware of Pluto, and then guess what happens? Pluto takes things away to show us how utterly dependent we are, and then we go, "Oh, I see, and then we have to wait. We have to wait for a feeling to come back, or we have to wait and learn how to create a little bit more of that on our own, less dependent on circumstances, less checking.

You know, to me, I can't help but notice the connection between the compulsion of Pluto and addiction. I was born with the sun square Pluto in my birth chart, and so that checking, checking, checking, the sense that I'm something's not right. I need something more. I don't feel totally safe or or right. How can I manage control? You know that compulsion is so plutonian, and I I can tell you I remember going through getting sober in my early 20s in my ayahuasca ceremonies, and I remember some of my early ayahuasca ceremonies in the jungles, like 2005, and being like, "How long do I have to go through this? Asking that question over and over, night after night, and I remember the shaman who's a an apprentice of the indigenous curandero saying to me, "As long as it takes, as long as it takes, and that's the thing is that I don't think the universe begrudges us our process.

I think it allows for it because then it's real, you know. Then it's real. I was thinking a lot about Saturn in the 12th house because Saturn is in my 12th house currently and squaring my moon during this waiting for the sale of home, and Saturn in the 12th associated with sorrow, confinement, circumstances that tend to restrict your sense of agency or freedom. So, Saturn is another planet that is on my mind right now, and probably traditionally prior to Pluto, would have had some bear some resemblance to this idea of purgatory. And what what Saturn does for us is it it brings us to the limit of something. Yeah, you know, you you are what Saturn makes us aware of is very similar to the impermanence of Pluto, right?

Saturn's like every everything in the material world will end. It has its limit. It's a Saturn word. It reaches its limit, just like winter is the kind of depth of the darkness of the year, and the limit of the darkness brings the return of light, and the limit of the light brings the return of darkness. These are Saturnian dualities. So, with Saturn, you get this feeling that everything in life has its limit, and a retrograde is the limit of how far a planet can move in direct motion before turning back, and of a a a station direct is how a planet moving backward reaches its limit and then has to move forward again. And during that station, there really is a feeling of I'm at the limit of the limit.

I'm at the limit of the waiting. I'm at the limit of the the breakdown, the reflection, the internal work, and now things are going to move forward. That's pretty common. Saturn retrogrades very similar, same same kind of story. But Saturn is actually the one who sets that idea in our minds astrologically, because in the Thema Mundi, it is at the limit of the zodiac, opposite the rising sign of the Thema Mundi in Cancer, opposite Capricorn, the signs of light in the in the spring, the sign of light Aries, opposite sign, the extension of light to to its return of darkness, exalted Saturn in Libra. Same thing with Leo and Aquarius, Cancer in Capricorn, the light parts of the summer, the dark parts of winter.

Saturn, the ruler of the opposition, everything reaches its limit, and in the limit space, there's a teaching in the I Ching that talks about that limit space, sort of a Saturnian space, the darkest space of winter. And it says that for people who are like driven by movement, this is a time that can make you sort of it can it can kind of drive you mad. But for people who take the time as an occasion to rest, to listen, to soften, to become more vulnerable, then it becomes restorative. I will tell you the only thing that I didn't cry in the elliptical, but I did make it back and have a cry on my couch in meditation later. Sometimes you just gotta cry.

I've learned that at this point, man. Those ayahuasca experiences taught me that like crying is a natural release valve. Don't be afraid of it. It's good for us. So I'm I'm I'm I'm sitting on my couch and I'm having a good cry, and I'm realizing I need this in life. I'm gonna forget that I'm not entitled to a house. I'm not entitled to stability, right? I'm not entitled to any of that. And what a blessing it is to be able to sit and wait and feel cleansed by the experience. Also, if I think about it, the only reason I'm in pain right now is because I know what happiness looks like.

This may not be it, but what a blessing it is to know enough about happiness to know that I'm disconnected from it. Do you know what I mean? Or sweetness, or groundedness, or home, or safety, whatever those feelings are, my separation from them is a sign that I have a good heart, you know. And the same is true for you. If you're listening to this and you're in a state of your life where you're waiting for something, your purpose, your person, your stability, your feeling of self-love, a positive relationship with family members, resolution to a conflict, finding another job. If you're waiting, just know that that feeling you have of where you'd like to be that you aren't. You know enough about peace and happiness and joy and contentment to know that you're not there, and that is beautiful.

Actually, I'm not saying it's fun to sit waiting because it's not, but you know enough about where you're going to know you're not there, and that is a north star, and it will guide you. And if we keep thinking about that north star and that state, not totally attached to the things of this world, but attached to our heart and attached to our consciousness. Then right now, the way that you sit in this space, can I just sit and receive this space, this waiting, this holding, this frustration, this longing? Can I just sit there and be with it? Well, then you're becoming more of the the total treasure, and less and less the things of this world will we we will we will we will need them less, even though they're no less real, right?

But we need them less, meaning like we're these spaces are an opportunity to cultivate that home, that connection, that happiness in ourselves. I don't know any harder work, right? It's like just so melancholic. Another word associated with Saturn to be like, I'm not where I wish I was. No, but be with yourself, right? And trust that the mercy, the grace, the movement, the flow-it will return. It always does. You know, you're not alone in this space. There are millions of souls right now, quietly suffering, longing for some state of consciousness or some state of being that they wish they had, that they've known before, that they know exists, but they don't feel like they can get There.

So let's send a prayer out to all the people right now who are waiting. You know. Anyway, I hope that this was useful, kind of creative off the cuff, no notes, but I hope it serves you. And I hope you have a great weekend. I'm going to tell you about the year one program next. Stick around to hear more about it. Take care, everyone. Bye.